


Hollywood Undead One Shots |Book 2|

by Airiamurillo



Series: One shot books [2]
Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 93,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22640938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Airiamurillo/pseuds/Airiamurillo
Summary: A collection of  one shots for Hollywood Undead. I accept requests for a lot of pairings so leave a comment or pm me to send one in. Most are Danny x - as that is who I write the most but I do accept the other pairings too. WARNING RATED M FOR A REASON. I do a lot of types of one shots so there will be a few angsty ones mixed in with happy ones.
Relationships: Asia Borden/George Ragan | Johnny 3 Tears, Daniel Murillo | Danny & George Ragan | Johnny 3 Tears, Daniel Murillo | Danny & Jordon Terrell | Charlie Scene, Daniel Murillo | Danny/George Ragan | Johnny 3 Tears, Daniel Murillo | Danny/Jordon Terrell | Charlie Scene, Daniel Murillo | Danny/Theresa Murillo, Dylan Alvarez | Funny Man/Daniel Murillo | Danny, Dylan Alvarez | Funny Man/George Ragan | Johnny 3 Tears, Dylan Alvarez | Funny Man/Jorel Decker | J-Dog, Dylan Alvarez | Funny Man/Matthew Busek | Da kurlzz, George Ragan | Johnny 3 Tears/Jordon Terrell | Charlie Scene, Jorel Decker | J-Dog & Daniel Murillo | Danny, Jorel Decker | J-Dog/Aron Erlichman | Deuce, Jorel Decker | J-Dog/Daniel Murillo | Danny, Jorel Decker | J-Dog/George Ragan | Johnny 3 Tears, Jorel Decker | J-Dog/Jordon Terrell | Charlie Scene, Jorel Decker | J-Dog/Vanessa Decker, Jorel Decker | J-Dog/Vanessa James, Matthew Busek | Da kurlzz/Daniel Murillo | Danny, Matthew Busek | Da kurlzz/Jordon Terrell | Charlie Scene
Series: One shot books [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628707
Kudos: 9





	1. Dear Brother

**_Welcome to the second book in my HU one shot series._ **

**_This is not going to have a specific band pairing because I want it to be different. Also I love the HU ladies._ **

**_Also like most of my one shots it is an AU – This means that I am not gonna stick to what actually happened irl and there will be differences. Obviously none of this happened irl._ **

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_September 7 th, 2009 - Danny p.o.v_ **

“I’m so bored,” I complain. I am laying on the couch because I had fallen off my skateboard and really messed my knee up. Lorene Drive had also just gone on hiatus because we weren’t happy with how things were going. “Why don’t you go to your mom and dad’s for a bit? I am sure they will entertain you while I am in work,” Theresa, my wife says and kissed me on the cheek. I love her so much; I feel lonely when I am not with her. “I might go over there. I know that the littlest siblings should be there,” I tell her. I am part of a huge blended family; I am one of ten siblings who are either the birth parents biological children or adopted like me. I was adopted at four years old after going through a rough year in the care system.

“Enjoy your family time babe, I’ll see you later,” Reese says, and I kiss her on the lips before she leaves. She kisses me back and walks out the front door. I text my mom to see if it is okay for me to come over and she instantly replied with yes and my older brother Rigo was coming to get me. She knows about my knee injury, so she is sending my brother, so I don’t drive while I recover. My other brother Alex offered to do it in the group chat, but mom said no because he can’t actually drive yet. I am sure Rigo will let Alex come with him to pick me up. Being in a huge family means I am never truly lonely; I can also ask one of my siblings to come and hang out with me if I feel like I need some sibling company.

My family vlogs a lot about our stories and our daily lives which is fun. That means I wasn’t surprised when I managed to hobble on my crutches to the door to see Rigo with the camera in my face. “I was gonna jump on you, but I remembered about your leg,” Alex says, after I hugged my brothers. We are walking to the car now and I was just happy to be with my brothers. “I would have jumped on you too, but then I remembered about my own leg,” I tell him, and he laughs. Rigo just rolls his eyes, and I smiled at him. He’s definitely the calmer, more sensible brother out of the five brothers. I don’t know who is the calmest of the five sisters though. Dad is by far the craziest out of all of us though, and he knows that.

“So, we have the broken brother Danny. We’re gonna go head to the store real quick before heading back to the house,” Alex says, panning the camera back to me as I wave. I think we are just getting snacks and whatever else mom asked for before they left the house. I can’t do much then lay on the couch and watch television anyways. “Yep, need some movie snacks because we having a movie day, since Danny can’t really do much,” Rigo replies, and I just shake my head. They are so silly sometimes. “You guys keep making it sound worse than it is,” I tell them. I was in the front passenger seat next to Rigo and Alex was in the back. Rigo laughs at me and I take the camera from him, so the comments don’t complain about him vlogging and driving. “What did you do to it anyway?” Alex asks me. I can’t remember if I told them or not.

“I went into another skater in the bowl at the skate park. I went flying off and sprained my knee,” I tell him. We make it to Walmart, and I managed to make my way around on the crutches okay. I was starting to get a little tired. “Do you want me to carry you Dan?” Rigo asks, we were getting everything I need, and I was getting more tired as we went around. “Nah I’m good. I will probably just end up falling asleep at some point during the movies,” I tell him. If I get really tired then I will put movies on and end up falling asleep after a little while. It helps when I am suffering with insomnia and then I need to get some sleep without relying on sleeping medication. We manage to get everything without much problems and we are now on the way back to the house.

I hug my mom as soon as I get into her house. I miss hanging out with her on a daily basis. I then flop onto the couch. I was so tired, and the knee pain has started flaring up a little bit. “You okay there Danny?” Maddie asks, I closed my eyes when I lay down on the couch and I was getting ready to fall asleep. I nod, as one of the dogs jump on the couch and sits on my legs. It didn’t hurt my leg at all even though I know that he is laying on my bad knee. He is laying on both my knees though, so it doesn’t really matter. Hannah, the youngest decided that she was going to cuddle up with me. I miss spending my days off playing with her. She’s going to be starting Pre-K soon and my mom is not prepared for her youngest child to start going to school.

I don’t think she has ever been alone or had peace from children since her first was born. “Let him rest if he wants. We have pain killers, food, and movies whenever he wants them,” Mom says. She knows that some of my older sisters can be a little bit overbearing. I still have my eyes close because I am trying to get a little more sleep than I had last night. The pain made it harder for me to fall asleep at night because I couldn’t even get comfortable. It is all fine to begin with and then the pain flairs up but the medication you’re on dictates that you have to eat a decent meal before taking them. I did not want to go to make something to eat at two in the morning. I also didn’t want to wake anyone up.

I managed to fall asleep and I woke up with Hannah fast asleep where the dog was on me previously. The others were around us watching a movie. “Good afternoon Dan,” Alex says, and he throws a bag of Twizzlers in my direction. I was kinda hungry, so I opened the bag and started munching on them. I think it is too late to eat lunch, so I am gonna wait until dinner for a proper meal. I wasn’t really paying attention to the movie because I kinda realised it was too far in for me to try and get the plot figured out. I will have a better chance on the second movie that we are going to be watching or the third. I don’t know how many movies they have been able to get through when I was sleeping. I don’t know how long I was sleeping for.

Rigo starts vlogging again after I had moved Hannah a little bit to make her more comfortable and to be able to let her share the blanket I was given with me. She stayed asleep the entire time which was good. I think she had only just fallen asleep when I had woken up. “So one wakes up from a nap and the other one goes down,” Rigo whispers, as he films me and Hannah. I smile I reveal the little adorable bundle of sister under the blanket. Mom comes to sit next to me, if Hannah falls asleep on me then she will only accept being moved by mom or me if she is still asleep or just waking up. She somehow knows if it is someone else when she’s sleeping and gets grumpy. I would love to know how she does that.

“Somebody has missed their bear,” mom replies, once the camera had been turned off. Hannah has been close to me since she was a tiny baby and got sad when I moved out a year ago. I keep visiting as much as I can though. I know she misses me, and I know if I find a new band to be part of then I would have more trouble finding the time to visit my big family. I am talking to someone who is having issues with a member of their band and they might need me to step in. I will just have to wait and see with that. I have let him know about my current knee situation which helped me a bunch. If they want me to meet up with them one of them is going to have to pick me up. George seemed fine with that.

No one wants me to injure myself more than I had already. Sitting in a chair hurts me anyways so I don’t think I am going to be wanting to drive for the next month or so. I enjoy spending time with my family and even stay over because Reese messaged me to say that she had been asked to do some overtime at work. I didn’t fancy being home alone tonight so I asked mom if I could spend the night, so they didn’t have to worry about someone dropping me off. Mom instantly agreed and said she could set up a comfy bed for me to sleep on. Hannah was super excited; she would probably end up in whichever bed I sleep in. She’ll sleep on her own for most of the night, then when she wakes up she will join me and fall back to sleep for a little while.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_2 weeks later_ **

George is coming to get me today so I can meet the other 4 members of the band who want to meet me. They are considering kicking Aaron out, but only if he keeps on failing to appear at rehearsals or the tour they have coming up in a month’s time. My knee is slowly recovering from the injury I got two weeks ago, it still needs about 4 weeks before I can take the brace off and start slowly getting back into exercise. I had a follow up appointment yesterday which led to me getting another two weeks with the leg brace. I have physiotherapy sessions lined up for when the time comes too. In the meantime, I am just going to rely on good friends like George to get me around somewhat independently.

George texts me when he is outside the house and I almost fell over trying to get up and to get my crutches. I get out okay, and George laughs as I almost fell again getting into his car. “You’re more injury prone when you have an injury to begin with,” George jokes, as I throw my crutches into the back seat and roll my eyes at him. “Well yeah, I also fell trying to leave the house too,” I tell him, as he drives off to the studio or wherever we are meeting the others to see if my voice is a good enough to be a potential new band member. “Should be giving you a clutz nickname,” he tells me after a while. I would definitely have a clumsy trait if I don’t have it already. I am prone to tripping over pretty much anything.

“Oh by the way, Jorel isn’t going to be there. I trust you enough to tell you that he has only just found out that he was adopted. So, at the moment he is struggling to deal with that new information,” he tells me. I don’t know why he feels like he trusts me with that information, but I will keep it under wraps as if I don’t know. “Wow, that’s a lot to take in at any age. I found out I was adopted myself when I was twelve. I can sympathise with him,” I tell him. I feel confident enough to share that information with the older guy. It might help this Jorel guy if he needs to talk to me at any point about being adopted. “Wow, I wouldn’t have guessed that after seeing you with your mother and siblings,” he tells me.

“Yeah especially putting Rigo and I together you’d think that I wasn’t adopted. I was separated from my older brother at four years old after we were taken when I was three and he was four. Then I was in a foster placement which went wrong then I was in a second placement which led to my adoption at five,” I tell him. I don’t know if I will go into more details with him now, I still struggle with the memories leading up to my adoptive family taking me on myself. There is a lot of trauma involved which tends to lead to nightmares whenever I bring it up. That is why I tend not to talk about it very often. I suppose I should probably talk about it more so that it is not so bad, but I don’t feel ready for it at the moment.

“Fair enough. Thinking about it, Jorel said he was taken from his brother at four, but his adoptive parents always dismissed it as bad dreams. Maybe they are connected somehow,” George says, and I smile. I would love to find my biological brother if it is possible. I know that my adoptive parents have tried but they have no details to go on really. They have no idea where my brother went after we were separated from each other at the group home. “Maybe, I suppose you could ask him when he is ready to see what he knows,” I tell him. I am not going to get my hopes up that Jorel could be my potential brother. It could just be pure coincidental. The care system loves splitting up siblings especially when they find it too difficult to get a quick adoption through with siblings and getting foster or adoptive parents to take them.

I try not to think about the memories that are threating to bubble up to the surface and I give myself a minute to push them down while George gets my crutches from when I threw them onto the back seats. “You good to go?” he asks, helping me out of the car and he hands me my crutches so I can walk with him to the building where I will be meeting the other three members of the band today. “Yeah,” I reply and manage to not have my third near fall of the day because of George keeping a close eye on me. He smiles at me, and then walks a little bit ahead of me so that he could open the door for me so I wouldn’t struggle with it. I am so grateful for that; doors are so tricky to go through when you are on crutches.

“Thanks George,” I tell him, as I get through the door easily. Hopefully there are not too many more doors to go through. I appreciate the help that everyone has given me over the last 4 weeks, but I also want to be as independent as I can possibly be. “You’re welcome,” George tells me, there was not another door to go through at that moment which I was grateful for. We probably have to go down the corridor and then into another room. I was right, we walk down the corridor and then go into another room where the other three were messing around. George helped me through the second door. I thanked him again, and he said “You’re welcome” again which I just shook my head at. We’re both so silly.

“I’ve brought the hop a long,” George announces, and they all wave at me. Then I get introduced to each dude. Matt was the one with the curly hair, Dylan was the one who was sort of growing a beard and Jordon has a baby face. “I wish Jorel was here,” Jordon says, after a while. We were just sitting around and getting to know each other a little more. Well, it was more of me getting to know all of them. They know each other pretty well at this point. “I know, I did let Danny know Jay wasn’t gonna be here, but not specifics. I don’t see us making a definite decision on Danny’s role without Jorel meeting and hearing him first anyways,” George explains. I would have expected to become a full member of the band that I would need a 5/5 vote.

Jorel would also need to hear my voice for himself as well before he makes his choice. I know George would try and say it in my favour. I sang and played the guitar for them for the first time. They were all in awe by the end of it. I had obviously told George that I was in Lorene Drive before this, but that didn’t mean that they had to listen to anything I had previously done. I didn’t want to do any of the screamo that I have done in the past, I would need to do way more vocal warm ups before I do that, and I also don’t want Matt to feel like he had to be jealous of me or anything like that. He is the screamer of the band not me. I already feel bad that I am gonna be chucked into the top spot of the band as it is.

Of course I have been the lead/only singer of the band anyways. I just don’t have the experience of being the frontman of a band that is bigger in both band size and fan base size. If they choose me then I am going to have to quickly adapt to this. They are already 22 in the charts which to me is very impressive but also gives me a high standard to meet. I also know that their fans are not all going to like me at first. Humans are creatures of habit and if anything should change they will not like it at first. They will get used to it eventually once they know the truth. Then I hope more of them will like me. I am just making assumptions at this point though. There is always the possibility of me not being accepted into the band.

“Hey Dan, forgot to ask earlier and George didn’t say, but what happened to your knee?” Dylan asks me. We’d been so busy chatting and playing music I had almost forgotten about my knee pain until then. “I had an accident in the skatepark and ended up spraining my knee with a little tear in my ligaments,” I tell him. I was being honest with him; I had no reason to make up this huge epic story that they wouldn’t believe. That would also make them think that I am a liar which I would never do to them. I want to be honest with them and make them trust me. George has probably made me sound way much better than I actually am. People tend to do that with me, and I don’t know why.

“Need to ask Reese to wrap you in bubble wrap,” George says, and I roll my eyes. The others do know who Reese is. It was asked if I had a partner while we were getting to know each other. “You know she would do it. She almost had a heart attack when she got a phone call from the hospital that I was there after the fall,” I tell him. It is nice to have someone care about me like that. It made it easier for my mother to accept that I was moving out for the first time in a permanent basis. She was stressed enough when I went to college. “I can imagine. I would panic if that happened to a friend let alone a loved one,” Jordon tells me. I like these guys a lot already, they are everything that George said they would be when I told him I was nervous.

The rest of the day went really well. We all went out to dinner together which was cool. George texted Jorel to see if he wanted to come and join us and he politely declined. I know that was fair enough, Jorel needs that time to himself to figure out some things. I also don’t want to force him to socialise just because I am here. I am not scared of the guys so I will meet up with them again at some point soon. Then George drove me back home where I spent the rest of the time before bed talking to Reese while watching television and catching up on the events in our day since we were apart for most of it. George was talking to me through text messages, just asking me about how I felt the day went. I felt good about the whole thing when I went to bed. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_October 10 th, 2009_ **

Today is the day where I don’t know if I should feel excited or nervous. George has been helping me open up about some of the past traumas and how I became separated from my brother. I haven’t told him about some of the abuse I have gone through or how I used to be mute in most situations. He said that he has found my biological brother and that I am going to be meeting him today. I don’t even know if I am going to recognise him. My mom is filming it for the family vlog channel with the brother’s permission. They are so excited for me to meet my brother for the first time in over twenty years that my mom and dad have come with me. I wouldn’t deny that I feel as if I need the moral support they are giving me.

I felt my dad squeeze my hand even though he was in the passenger seat and I was behind him. It was something he would do whenever I was feeling particularly nervous or scared during a car ride. “No matter how this goes, we are still proud of you and think that you have done amazingly well,” he tells me. I am still very afraid of my brother not liking me, feeling some resentment because in his mind I have had a perfect upbringing with my adoption since he doesn’t know about the long road it took to get there. I don’t know if I want to tell him some of the things that went on either. “Thanks. Do you think that he’ll like me?” I ask. They had told me honestly that they have spoken to my brother but have only told him stuff that they have passed by me first. “Yeah, he’s desperate to meet you Danny,” mom says. I know they are not saying it just for the sake of saying it to make me feel better.

We are meeting with George and my brother in a restaurant separately, in the sense that we are not traveling together. Obviously we live in separate houses, but it’s kinda like a date that if it all goes wrong we can just leave and not feel bad about leaving the other one behind. It is a little weird, but I try not to think about this as we get closer to the place that my brother has chosen for us to eat and catch up if this all goes well. We go to park and the nerves start creeping up on me again and I look to my parents for a little bit of extra reassurance. We’re parked so my dad gets out of the car to join me in the back seat. “We are going to take our time okay Dan? He is probably just as nervous as you are,” he tells me.

We were probably about ten minutes early anyways, which gives me a perfect opportunity to sit in the back and calm down a little bit. Then we make our way to the entrance of the restaurant where I will meet my brother for the first time in twenty years. I was aware of my mother filming me as she wants to capture our meeting and get our natural first reactions to seeing each other. I was a little more nervous the closer that I got to the door. I could see George’s car as we walked through the car park. It was good to know that they have not bailed on me. Not that they would have bailed on me anyways, they were the ones who suggested this in the first place. This was just my anxiety taking over my mind.

Then it was like a movie or a you tube video with emotional music played over it. I instantly recognised my brother before I was told it was him. A lot had changed over twenty years, but the familiarity of our bond has not. Also he was the only guy who started jogging towards us when we had made eye contact. I matched his pace and soon we were in each other’s arms. We both have tears falling as we held each other as tightly as we dared. I could imagine my adoptive parents had tears in their eyes whilst filming us. This has been a long time coming for them. We eventually pulled apart with grins and we wiped the remaining tears away from our eyes. “Danny, meet Jorel your brother,” George says, and it made everything better for me.

It is pretty much set that I will become part of the band later this month. To have my own biological brother be in the same band as me would be the best thing I could have hoped for. Now we have all the time in the world to catch up and not worry about separating from each other while we are on tour. I basically threw my arms around him again finding that out. “Let’s never leave each other again,” Jorel tells me. I could not agree with him more on that, even if the first separation had nothing to do with us. We didn’t choose to get separated not long after we were first taken from our parents. “Definitely,” I tell him. We stop hugging each other and my mom puts the camera down. Jorel hugs them both.

“Thank you so much for one looking after my baby brother when I couldn’t and secondly for being so kind to me through the last few days,” he tells them, and I shake my head. I can already tell what kind of relationship we were going to have. It’s gonna be just like my relationship with my adopted siblings which I was very happy about. “You’re welcome. Like we mentioned in the messages that you are technically part of our family too and you can come over and talk to us whenever you need it,” my mum says. She says that is her goal for all the adopted siblings to have contact with their biological family and to have as much support as possible. That even extends to giving them support and anything else they need.

“Thank you so much. The last month or so has been completely crazy for me learning about all of this. I definitely appreciate all the support you have given me,” Jorel says. I was sitting next to him at the table that was for sure. We walk into the food place and were guided to our reserved table. George was still here as some support for Jorel, as we welcomed him as a brother figure into my life anyways. It felt natural to sit next to Jorel as we looked through the menu to see what we were going to be eating. I bet mom is recording us for her video. She wants some natural footage of us getting to know each other again. Our conversations will have music over them, and she will put the camera down to enjoy the moment with us.

Jorel and I had gotten each other the same gift which after unwrapping them at the same time we just started laughing. We both got each other picture frames with a cute quote about being brothers which we would take a nice photo of us together to put into the frame. “Great minds think alike,” George says, and I smile. I know that this was going to be kept in my living room for all to see. We eat lunch while talking about the band, our lives from when we were separated and just anything which sounded interesting to each other at the time. I enjoyed every minute and when it was time to go I was starting to get a little sad even though I know I will be texting Jorel a lot over the next few days and we will be seeing each other again.

“I enjoyed today, we should meet up again maybe tomorrow or something,” Jorel tells me, when the time sadly comes to an end. We had spent hours talking to each other and fill in the gaps between the time where we have been apart. “Definitely, let me know when and where,” I tell him, and we hug each other tightly. A large part of me did not want to go back home, I wanted to spend more time with Jorel. On the other hand we are only just getting to know each other after being apart for twenty years and I don’t want to force us to be glued at the hips as we once were. That is going to take some time to get back to. I also don’t want Jorel to think that I am a creep and that he shouldn’t hang out with me.

I was admittedly a little bit giddy when we left the restaurant and I saw big grins on my mom and dad’s faces. “I am so glad that this worked out for you,” Dad tells me, and wraps his arm around my shoulder as we walk to the car. This could not have gone any better in my opinion. “Thanks for setting this up with George. I am so glad to have my big brother back,” I tell him. I did miss my brother a lot, the memories of being together are barely there because I was so young, but it stuck. It was good to have my parents not accuse me of making it up or being crazy like Jorel’s adoptive parents used to do. It sucks that he had to go through all of that, but I am hoping that they can repair their relationship now.

I happily hugged Reese when I got home. “I take it that it went well?” she asks, she had sent me messages while I was there to make sure I was okay, and I did respond. “Yeah, it’s weird to think that my big brother who I haven’t seen in over twenty years was that close the entire time after I had met George. We have all the time in the world to catch up,” I tell her and then go into more detail about the meet up. Obviously I did mention to Jorel that I am married and planning on having at least two kiddos of my own. He has a girlfriend of his own and eventually I see us having double dates and stuff like that. Well, that would be the case when everyone involved agrees with it and I don’t see it being any time soon.

I spent the rest of the day texting Jorel like a giddy school girl or something. I was hoping that he was just as excited as me at being back together again. I cuddle up with Reese on the couch towards the end of the day as we watch television and the conversation has died down. “I am so glad you are happy baby. I don’t think I have ever seen you this happy since the day I met you,” she tells me. Reese has always been honest with me. She is also probably right as well; it has felt like there was a piece missing out of the puzzle which is my heart. Ever since I was eleven or twelve years old and I was told that I was adopted and that there was a brother out there I was desperate to find him and meet him like I have done today.

I can go to bed happy and feel like the piece that has been missing has been found and I can finally feel complete. “I can believe that. He saved my life when we were in that fire. All I did was push him out of the window he broke and then fall out of it myself. I am not the hero of the story he was, but everyone else said it was me,” I tell her. She does know all of this stuff already, apart from the whole I was the little three year old hero for getting myself and my big brother out of the burning bungalow. I wasn’t the one who ran to the door to find it locked, I wasn’t the one who broke the window after seeing how terrified my brother was and the flight instincts kicked in. Jorel was the one who did that while I hid in the bed terrified until I had to do something. I eventually kicked those thoughts to the back deep corner of my mind so I could fall asleep happy.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_And that is the end of the first one shot of book two. I hope that you enjoyed it._ **

**_Please don’t judge the cover photo too harshly because I did spend 4 hours on it yesterday and I know it needs improvement._ **


	2. Bandages & Scars | J3T x CS |

****_Part 5 of I’m bent, I’m not broken_ ** **

****_Hey guys, I am almost done with this mini-series. I hope you have enjoyed it even though it has been a while. All the other parts are in book 1._ ** **

****_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ ** **

****_George’s p.o.v_ ** **

“Hey Jordon, please come out,” I tell my boyfriend. He has locked himself into our bedroom after being discharged from the hospital about a week ago. “No George. You should have left a week ago and gone back to Asia. She is way more attractive than I will ever be,” Jordon tells me. I shake my head as I get comfortable on the floor. “Since when did that ever bother me Jordon. I am scarred too, so is Danny, Jorel and Matt. No one in the band or the fan base is gonna judge you for that,” I tell him. Even though I know for a fact he is not going to believe me. All of us who have been scarred have been in his exact position. On the floor with the door locked with you’re other half trying their best to convince you life is worth living.

“I told you that,” Jordon replies, and I thought that maybe I was starting to get through to him. I know he told me that and I know that only Danny was scarred when he told me that. “I know babe. You told me when I was in your position. It seems like it is so bleak right now, but it well get better,” I tell him. there is no use trying to get the door to open now. Jordon will do it when he is ready and hopefully I can pull him through this depressive rut he is currently going through. “Are you sure about that?” he asks, and it echoes the conversation I had with him when I was first discharged from the hospital so long ago. “Yes Jordon. I am one hundred percent sure on it,” I tell him. I hope it was enough to get that lock to click and the door to open.

I think I waited about five or ten minutes before I heard the click I was waiting for and I almost fell through the door when Jordon opened it to throw his arms around me and sobs into my chest. “It’s going to be just fine Jordon. I promise you it will be all okay,” I tell him, wrapping my arms around him and rocking him as he sobs. We stay like that for as long as it is going to take to get Jordon to naturally calm down. I was not going to force him to stop crying because I want him to get all of his emotions out. I held Jordon in my arms and just kept repeating soothing words until he naturally calmed down. “What did I do to deserve you George?” he asks me, I had wiped his tears when I knew he had stopped crying.

“You showed me love. You stayed by my side when you could have abandoned me and you’re the best boyfriend a man could ever asked for,” I tell him. I was being one hundred percent honest with Jordon as I had no reason to lie to the younger man. We go to the living room and I put his favourite movie on. Today is going to be the day where it is all about Jordon and what he likes and what is favourite foods and movies and TV shows as well as snacks. I am going to show Jordon that life is worth living. I had been talking to Matt to pick up some tips on how he managed to get Danny out of his depression. I know I should not be basing how I help Jordon on how Matt helped Danny, but it is going to be worth it.

I give Jordon his favourite throw blanket and a bowl of pretzel snacks. I was going to leave to get the ingredients to make Jordon his favourite dinner, but he pulled me down and I knew by the look on his face that I was needed at home. “Don’t worry I will stay here Jordon,” I tell him, and I sit next to him on the couch. “Good, I need my George,” he tells me, and I smile. I was so glad that I was able to get through to him after a week of trying my hardest. At least I could make an order online to get the groceries I needed to me quickly enough. “I love you Jordon. Don’t you ever forget that,” I tell him, and I kiss him on the cheek. It was not always the appropriate moment to kiss him on the lips. Jordon smiles and kisses me on the cheek.

“I love you too George. I hope you remember that no matter how stupid I am,” Jordon tells me. I shake my head because I know in my head he is not stupid whatsoever, but he is not going to believe me if I tried. “You’re always going to be my loveable idiot,” I tell him. That was probably going to be the only way that I would compromise with him. He grins and I smile back. I know the grin probably hurt from the healing scars on his face, but we have pain killers to deal with that problem. Jordon traces the scars on my face, and I trace the scars on his. At least his mask hides his and we can still see his beautiful blue eyes which made me fall in love with him. I place my hands in the way that hides the scars and look into his eyes.

“You’re still an incredibly sexy man to me Jordon,” I tell him. His scar would have just been the line that goes across under his eyes and over his nose. That was not enough to satisfy the gang this time who carved the LA part from his mask into his left cheek and one of the buildings. It does make it harder for Jordon to accept himself, but I know that I will get him to accept himself for who he is eventually. “If only that were true,” he replies, and I kiss him on the lips. It effectively silenced him, and he kissed me back straight away. “Would I have kissed you if it were false?” I ask. He shakes his head and wraps his arms around my neck. We settle down on the couch and then continue watching Jordon’s favourite TV show until something else happened.

Jordon hadn’t been sleeping that well, that much I knew for sure when I looked at his face for the first time when he opened the door. He had fallen asleep after a while, so I put something else on TV. That way he would not miss any episodes he hasn’t watched yet. The delivery came while he was asleep as well, so I dealt with it and started the early preparations for dinner. Considering I had only just gotten Jordon to open up to me and he was comfortable for the moment, I don’t want to waste that time making dinner. I was back with Jordon on the couch before he had even stirred. I wrap my arms around him and smile as he snuggles up closer to me. I am glad I can comfort my love when he needs me the most.

I was also texting Steve for guidance. Steve is mine and Danny’s therapist and he has been instrumental to our mental health recovery. Matt and Jorel decided not to use therapists, but Steve would always take them in if they wanted him. We were talking about my next session and I told him about what happened to Jordon last week and he suggested that I bring him along. He would not have to tell Steve anything if he felt too uncomfortable, but the option would always be there if he had the confidence to. It might help him feel better if he talks to someone other than his friends or family where there could be the expectation of he has to be okay even if he is not feeling okay and he is depressed.

Steve has this skill where we could be really defensive and not willing to open up, but he will make us feel as safe as we could possibly be and then tell him everything that is wrong with us and how our feelings are validated and how we can safely deal with them. Steve was telling me that I was doing the best I could do right now with Jordon. The fact that I had managed to convince him to leave our bedroom was an achievement in itself. I should be proud of what I have done so far today and just keep going and see what develops as the afternoon goes on. The next thing we should do is just take things in the moment and not focus on how every perceives we should be doing at this point in time.

For some reason society dictates that we should be back to normal one week after a traumatic event happens and I am not about that life. We’re going to take our time and just go at our own pace which seems to work better for us. I know it is going to take some convincing to get Jordon to come with me. He would probably ask me if he could go and spend some time with the others while I go to my therapy session. I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t want him to come with me, so he has another avenue to vent his feelings out too that isn’t his boyfriend. Jordon wakes up after an hour of me messaging Steve and he smiles at me. “Had a good nap there love?” I ask him. He nods and stretches, which to me was adorable.

“Yeah, it was even better with you there,” he tells me. I think my conversation with Steve was done for now. He told me to not be afraid to let someone else know how this situation is affecting me because it is not only Jordon’s mental health to take into consideration here. If I need to take time to talk to Steve or someone else then I would do it. Speaking of someone else, Jorel had sent me a message and I hadn’t opened it yet. “That’s good, feel free to change what’s on the TV. I had changed it after you had fallen asleep so you wouldn’t miss any episodes you hadn’t watched yet,” I tell him. I love the smile on his face as he searches for the show again. How did I find someone so perfect for me?

_Jorel: Hey, had any luck yet?_

_Me: Yeah, managed to get him to come out of the room at least spend some time with me_

_Jorel: That’s brilliant George. Let me know if you need anything_

_Me: Thanks Jay. For now we’re just relaxing and watching television. Gonna build his confidence back slowly._

_Jorel: You’re welcome. That sounds like a plan to me. Jord needs all the love and hugs he’s gonna get._

_Me: Yeah, doing the things we had help us when we went through this helps._

_Jorel: Definitely, let any of us know if you and Jordon need anything and we will be right there_

_Me: Thanks Jay, will do_

The conversation stopped there, and I got up to get us both some drinks. Jordon pouted, but I promised that I was going to be back as soon as I could and that we need something to drink. “Yay you’re back,” he tells me, when I returned two minutes later with the drinks. I chuckle and sit down next to him. “I only took two minutes Jordon. It wasn’t that long,” I tell him. I wrap one arm around him and watch whatever show he is still watching with the drink in my hand. I look around the room and see the framed canvas on our living room wall from Danny. God bless that blondie; he did not have to buy that for us. He had bough us a second one as a thank you for when we took care of him when Matt was in the hospital.

“So, when do you think we should pay Danny back for the painting he has bought us,” Jordon asks. It had been something I had been considering. He even brought us food while Jordon was in hospital. He is getting along with life a lot better now he is used to being blind in one eye. “Soon, maybe we should discuss it with Matt a little bit and then see what we can get and when we can give it to him. He didn’t have to bring us our favourite fast and takeaways while we were in hospital,” I tell him. I had considered what we could do with the super amazing friend for payback. “I’ll text Matt and see what we can do,” Jordon says, and I felt pride. This is a complete 180 on yesterday and I could not be prouder.

“That’s good. I’m proud of you Jordon. You’ve completed so many baby steps today,” I tell him. He looks up at me as if he couldn’t quite believe me. He has done really well though, I am not expecting him to open up about his feelings today, but he has come out of our room and we have talked. Even distracting ourselves by talking about how we are going to pay Danny back all helps with the recovery process. “Thanks George,” He tells me. Sometimes I wonder how Jordon exists, because he is just too perfect. He is going through hell right now, but in a few days he’ll be trying to do things for me or spoil me with something when it should be me spoiling him. I will try my best to be the one who spoils the over and shower them in all the love and attention they could possibly deserve.

I had already looked online and found the perfect gift for Jordon and ordered it. It should arrive in a couple of days. I can’t wait to see his reaction to it when it arrives. “Now, would you like some dinner?” I ask Jordon. It was getting to that time of day where we have dinner, so I thought it would be the perfect time to ask. “Yeah sure,” he tells me, and lets me get up to put what I had already prepared into the oven to cook. I didn’t want Jordon to see what the meal was going to be until it was time for us to eat. I walk back into the living room after putting the meal in the oven and Jordon was surprised. “Damn that was quick,” he tells me, and I smile. It was worth it to do all the preparation when he was napping.

“Yeah, I did all the prep for it when you were napping earlier so that I could spend more time with you,” I tell him. He hugs me tightly and I know that was worth it. He just needed to realise that I am here for him and that I am not going anywhere so that he feels safe in the swamp of uncertainty that is his brain right now. “Thanks George. Sorry for being an asshole and locking myself in our room for a week,” he tells me. I had been sleeping on the sofa and I thought he wouldn’t have noticed that, then again there wasn’t really an alternative because our guest bed is broken. “Don’t apologise Jordon. I know that this has not been easy, and it won’t be easy. I made a promise to myself when you were in hospital that I would look after you like you looked after me back when I was going through this,” I tell him.

I was being honest with him as well. I had made that promise to myself while we were in the hospital for those three days. “You really are a god,” he tells me. I chuckle at him calling me a god. I was only joking about being in god when I have mentioned it in songs. “You’re more of a god,” I tell him, trying to boost his confidence a little bit. He smiles at me, and then we cuddle until I knew dinner was ready. There was no point in making the dinner table look all fancy because we are not going to be using it. We are going to be lazy and eat in the living room with the plates on our lap. “Oh my god George, you didn’t have to make this for me. I would have settled for like fish and fries or something,” he tells me when I bring the plates through.

“I totally had to do it Jordon. I knew this was your favourite meal and it took me less than half an hour to prep when you were sleeping. The next few days are all about spoiling you,” I tell him. I hand him his plate and then sit down next to him with mine and we eat in a comfortable silence. He was probably going to deny me any opportunity to spoil him now he knows that is my plan. “I take it that means you aren’t going to let me do the dishes for at least a week then,” Jordon says, once he had finished his meal. Ahh he has finally learned. “Yep, a straight ban on doing the dishes for a week so you can relax, and I mean it Terrell,” I tell him. He laughs when I use his surname. I am happy that I got him laughing.

I did the dishes, chuckling to myself as Jordon says, “I hope you don’t take too long doing those dishes cause I need my hugs, and I mean it Ragan.” I am more than willing to fulfil that order of hugs from Jordon. I have an idea of how to do it to make him laugh again too. I am just going to find all of the stupid ways to make Jordon laugh and do them. “I have an order of hugs for a Mr Jordon Terrel,” I say when I walk back in, with a complete fake waiter voice which sent Jordon to the floor in fits of laughter. I sit down on the couch and wait for him to calm down so we could have the hugs that he asked for. He eventually calmed down, after I did what all good boyfriends to and film him laughing on the floor and use the same voice to make him laugh in the first place to ask him why he is laughing and then send it to all our friends.

****_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ ** **

****_3 weeks later_ ** **

Today is my appointment with Steve where I have finally convinced Jordon to come along with me to see what it is like at no extra cost to me. Steve has been looking forward to meeting him today and we will both gently attempt to get him to open up at least a little bit. “Don’t worry about today Jordon. You don’t have to speak to him if you don’t want to and he is not going to judge you for your scars,” I tell him. We have slowly been getting more and more comfortable leaving the house to go to different places. We can make it to the store and back now, but only at night when there aren’t many people around. I get how he feels though because I know for a fact I was the same way when I was going through this.

Luckily it is winter and surprisingly for Los Angeles it is cold. That mean it was the perfect opportunity to give him a present I was originally saving for Christmas, but a month early is fine. I had it wrapped because I have it organised in advanced. Basically I am a weirdo who buys the presents in the sales and keeps them for like 12 months. It’s Danny’s birthday in a week and I already have his present already to go. I hand Jordon the present and wait patiently for Jordon to open it and then see his reaction to the gift. “George, what is it with you and doing amazing things I keep not expecting,” he tells me and then hugs me tightly. He puts it on and then I could imagine him grinning now he can hide his scars.

“I’m just treating you with the love and care that you deserve,” I tell him. Now I feel more confident about this appointment going well. It probably would have gone well regardless of the tube neck scarf, but it would have taking me a lot more effort to convince him to leave. Today is going to be a good day. Regardless of how the appointment goes we are going to have a date somewhere nice and I can prove to him how much I love him. I mean I prove to him how much I love him every single day, but I want to show it more today. It is going to be one of the hardest days he has had in a while, he will hear me telling Steve about my feelings and then he has the opportunity to do the same. You spend so much time trying to push the memories down and then you have to bring them back up in front of a stranger.

I can understand why so many people chose not to do it. Danny was terrified of opening up to a stranger until I had done it. “I don’t have to talk to Steve this time if I don’t want to right?” Jordon asks me while were in the car. I was happy that he was at least comfortable to ask me this. “You don’t have to talk to Steve if you aren’t comfortable with it. Neither of us will force you into it,” I tell him. It might work better if he is comfortable and knows that nothing is expected of him. I don’t want him to be sitting there while I talk to Steve with this anxiety building up that once I have finished my session that he has to talk to Steve and say everything that is worrying him. I thought all of the gang had been caught before Jordon’s attack but apparently not.

It does make me worry about Dylan and if he will be attacked or now that the police are after them they will finally end their senseless violence. Part of me doubts it, but I would never admit it to anyone. I feel like I have to keep up this act of being the super optimistic one. Jordon holds my hand tightly when we arrive at the therapists office and I hold his gently to reassure him. I didn’t want to hurt him. I tell the lady at the reception desk that I am here to see Steve and so was Jordon. He technically has an hour slot after me, but it is up to him if he takes it or not. Steve is putting it as a free taster session if you would call it that. He offers anyone their first session with him for free to see if counselling is for them.

He is also very nice when it comes to payment and will often give us free sessions if he feels like we are struggling a lot and payment would be a factor driving us away and possible doing something we would regret later. “Come in gentlemen,” he tells us. We had been sitting in the waiting room for less than five minutes. Jordon was definitely more nervous now that we were in the room. We are going through the full experience today, so he knows what to expect. He sits on a chair while I lounge on the couch. It is quite relaxing once you get used to it. One of the first sessions Danny had while we still had joint sessions ended with him falling asleep on the couch he found it so comfortable. Maybe Jordon would find it that comfortable.

“Morning George, how have you been doing since our last session?” Steve asks me. I could see Jordon out the corner of my eye visibly relax at Steve’s tone. “Morning, I’ve been doing well thanks Steve,” I reply, and we go into more detail about how I have been doing and using the coping techniques when situations arise. We did mention Jordon’s attack in the way of how I felt when I had heard the news that the same gang who attacked me had attacked Jordon and all my feelings when I was in in the hospital with him. None of this was aimed at making Jordon feel bad, we knew none of this was his fault. Steve was taking notes and I knew there was a plan forming in his had to help him introduce Jordon to how he does his sessions.

We reached the end of my session and I was nervous to see how Jordon was going to react to it being his turn. He seemed okay, but I wasn’t sure of how much of his reaction was him hiding his true feelings. “Hi Jordon, as you know my name is Steve and it is nice to meet you,” Steve says, and I stand up to let Jordon lay where I was or sit if he so choses. He decides to lay down which surprised me, but I know how comfortable it is. “Nice to meet you Steve,” Jordon says. I am proud of him already and he has only said a few words. This is already going better than I expected it to go. Then again I went into it with no expectations. I just want him to feel happy with this whole thing really. I am worried that I am forcing him into something too soon.

“Now I want to reassure you that I am not going to be angry or feel anything negative if you decide that you can’t talk to me today. It is also up to you if you want George in the room or not,” Steve tells him. I am more than happy to step out of the room if he wants the privacy to talk to Steve. We do give him a good amount of time to let him consider all of the options available before he says anything. I don’t want him to rush into any decisions because it’s important that he is happy and comfortable before the next steps happen. I also am not going to go too far if he does want me out of the room just in case he suddenly changes his mind and texts me that he needs me back in the room with him.

The start of the session was good for Jordon and I was still in the room. They just talked a little bit about themselves to get to know each other more before Jordon starts getting personal with Steve. That bit I am probably going to need to be out of the room and I would not mind one bit. After about half an hour it was time for me to leave the room. Jordon almost reconsidered right there and then, but I kissed him and told him he could do this, and I was only one phone call or text message away if he really needed me. Hopefully that will be the confidence he needs. It felt weird leaving the room considering that we have practically glued to the hip since the incident happened even if he spend a week locked in our bedroom.

I was texting Danny and updating him on how the session was going. He was amazed at how well Jordon has been doing and couldn’t wait for us all to meet up again next week to start recording more songs. I am quite desperate by now to get back into the studio and back to some form of normality and I am hoping Jordon is too. I am not going to rush if he isn’t though. I would stay back home with him if he needed me to. I’ll do whatever it takes to make Jordon happy and comfortable with life again. At least now I have a little bit more time to plan the date instead of making it up on the spot like I usually do. Something tells me I probably should have given myself a little more time to plan this date.

Then again, the date is not going to be too long anyways. We are only going to have lunch, then go to the store to pick up some things for another movie night. I think the self-care is needed after Jordon telling Steve whatever he is telling him right now. I found a cute little sandwich place which would be open for lunch and that is where I plan to go after the session is over. Half an hour later, Jordon comes out of the room and straight into my arms. “I’m so proud of you baby,” I whisper, as I hug him and rock him to the side slightly. We are slowly walking towards the door. Jordon slowly moved off me and held my hand tightly. I felt bad because he had been crying, but he didn’t ask for me to comfort him.

“I told him more than I was expecting too,” Jordon tells me, I smiled because it sounded like it had helped him a little bit. “That’s good Jordon. Steve is good at getting information out when you don’t expect him to,” I tell him. I also know it is not a case of we are telling him stuff to make the session end, we genuinely want the help that he is offering us. I kiss him on the cheek, and he blushes. “Do you feel any better now you have met and spoken to Steve?” I ask him. I want to know if it was worth it and that I have not pushed him too far too soon. “Actually, I do. He made me feel like all my emotions were valid and how I can deal with them better than I have been doing,” he tells me, and I hold back a cheer.

“That’s really good. You can always talk to him over messages or talk to me if you feel comfortable enough. I am incredibly proud of you and now we’re gonna have lunch and relax for the rest of the day,” I tell him, and he grins. I think it was for the best that we just get home after lunch and stay there for the rest of the day. I don’t want to tell him too many times that I am proud of him in case he decides that I am doing it too much to make him feel better and that I don’t actually mean it. Hopefully he realises that I mean everything that I tell him. I love him so much and he means the world to me and I hope one day I can show him. “Sounds like a plan,” Jordon tells me, and leans over to kiss me.

I kiss him back and grin. Today is going perfectly and I love how happier Jordon seems to be after our two hour session with Steve. Lunch went well, the café was better than I expected it to be and we had quite possibly the best lunch date we have ever had since getting together. The rest of the day is going to be Jordon’s to control and whatever we are going to do is up to him. We go to Walmart and get all the snacks and drinks we could possibly need. We also spend at least ten minutes looking in the movie charts. If we find a movie that we like, and both want to watch then we are going to buy it or rent it if we can find it cheaper elsewhere. Unfortunately, we can’t find anything we like but we bought the snacks and drinks regardless.

We did find a movie that we did like and spend most of our afternoon flicking through different movies. I made dinner while Jordon relaxed, and we just had a good time in each other’s company not worrying about our scars and in just pure love with each other which is what I wanted. Nothing and no one else mattered now. It was just me and him at home in our apartment enjoying some quality time together. This was a million times better than I planned today going and I didn’t even expect it to go as far as it did as we lay in bed later that night completely naked after a round of passionate love making. I am not going to complain though, it was perfect, and I could not have found a better boyfriend.

****_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ ** **

****_And that is the end of another one shot! I hope you enjoyed and I’ll see you next time._ ** **


	3. Freaks | DM x J3T|

**_Supernatural AU – I’ve added new rules to suit my world that I am creating._ **

**_2012 – Unknown p.o.v_ **

I sneak out of the bus, hoping that no one else would be awake and notice that I have left. God knows how many questions they would ask if they saw. I could use the excuse that I can’t sleep, and I need to tire myself out a little, but I could only use that so many times. I had almost been caught before, but I lay down on the couch and pretended to sleep until they had left. I don’t like doing this, but I would die if I didn’t and I know what it feels like to get to that point. I had come to close to dying from my condition before and I know I am not about to make that same mistake especially not with so many people who could see me for who I really am. It’s not someone who I am proud of, but someone I have no choice in that matter.

I walk to the town, find someone unsuspecting to be my target. In order to keep up my disguise I must do this. I could drink animal blood, like most other vampires I know, but I would have been discovered by now. I have had over 100 years to perfect this and I would say I am doing it pretty well thus far. I found him, a man that no one would suspect to have a vampire just take some blood from him. It is not a homeless man; they are being monitored by the police after a vampire in Nevada wasn’t careful enough and got caught. It did not mean that they would do anything to solve the issue of homelessness in America, but it means that we have to be more careful if we go out hunting. The guy who did it died.

I completed my hunt successfully and managed to get back into the bus and to my bunk without anyone noticing that I had even left. That was my desired outcome and I was happy that I had managed to achieve it. Most of the guys sleep with the curtain slightly open so that their faces can be seen, and I am not sure why. Maybe it was a way to easily check on them when they are asleep without waking them. I do the same and crawl under my covers to attempt to get some sleep because with the power I have I am almost perfectly human. I would not be able to do this if I had not drank human blood and it is a power that all vampires possess. Only few know about it and fewer chose to use it to keep up the pretence of being human.

My father is one such man, he knows about the power which is how come I know it. He does not use it though because he cannot bring himself to drink the blood of a human. My sister turned me when the time came. My father hated it, until we reminded him that I would pe permanently dead if not for my sister. He hates that even more, but I often travel back home to visit him when he least suspects it. It makes him really happy when he spends time with me, and it makes me being a vampire all the more worth it to him. especially when I come during a time where he is struggling with work and needs a hug from me. We will be passing through my home town in a couple of days and I cannot wait to see my family again.

I fall asleep and end up being the last one awake for once. I stumble through to the main living area rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “Up late partying again?” Matt teases, and I just flip him off and sit down next to one of the others. They wrap their arm around me, and I naturally snuggle in while I try and wake up properly. I hate being the last one awake, because I don’t get that time to lay in my bunk and wake up properly before having to be social. “Just give him half an hour to wake up will you? You know how long it takes for you to do your hair in the morning and he doesn’t tease you,” the guy hugging me says.

I find it funny how much the other men defend me, of course I would do the same for them. It just feels weird knowing how much older I am than all of them. They are never to know that of course, but to them I am just a young man in my mid-twenties trying to find my place in this world. That is all they will ever know until the day I have to move on from this life I have made for myself and recreate myself again. That is one of the reason why I have stayed away from any relationships while I have been building this life. I can’t bear to break their heart if they don’t know who I am then I suddenly have to leave then it is essentially time to move on to a new life once again.

I look at my phone while no one is paying attention to me, so I can check my notes for the life that I have created so that when they start asking more questions about my background the more comfortable they feel with our friendship. It slowly gets more and more personal the more we get to know each other obviously so my story needs to make sense and not have giant holes in it that they can bring up. It feels weird to say something and you sound as truthfully as possible, even though you know it is all a total lie and at any point in time and they will uncover everything. It also depends on who you are with if they want you to create any more vampires, my father doesn’t want any more after my brother’s wife was turned.

Then again, it is not a no means no forever deal. If I can find the perfect one for me then my father could be persuaded to add another vampire to our large clan. Mother has always been talking about when I was going to settle down and find a woman or a man. There is no rush for me to find a partner though, they know I am waiting for the right person and we have all the time in the world. I put my phone into my pocket as one of the guys gently pushes a freshly made coffee towards me. “Thanks,” I tell him and just go straight for a big gulp while I wake up a little more. The guy who has his arm around me laughs as I basically chug the coffee in a few short gulps. I don’t really drink a lot of coffee either.

It tends to happen mornings after I have been hunting and come back in the early hours of the morning and have to get up at 7.30 am to do a whole day of interviews of the same or similar questions over and over again to different people and try and make the answers a little different each time. “How do you not burn your mouth doing that?” Matt asks, they always ask me that when I chug my coffee down in basically one go. “We know his preference enough now that we put enough milk in so he can chug it in one go,” the guy who made me the coffee says. We have a list which has our names on, and our hot beverage preferences tapped onto one of the cupboards which we use if we do decide to make someone else a drink.

Interviews are boring as hell and I don’t get why they don’t all communicate with each other, so we don’t have to suffer with the same type of condescending person asking us the same type of questions with just another company brand slapped on the top. I think I have answered my name and role in the band at least 5 times this morning and afternoon alone. Surely people know who we are by now. It wouldn’t hurt the team behind the interviews to do some actual research to see which questions we are becoming tired of answering by now. It would certainly make me feel less bored when I have to sit in the room and go through the whole interview. I know some of the others are tired of the interviews now too.

“I think I want another coffee,” Jordon says once we were given a fifteen minute break between the interview we just had and the next one which is going to be on our tour bus. “I think we need something stronger than a coffee at this point Jord,” I reply. They all chuckle as Jordon makes us both coffees instead of the beers I was suggesting. Then again, I don’t think we want to get wasted during the interviews or the show that we have after this either. Not that I could get drunk even if I wanted to. It was a perk of being a vampire which I enjoyed very much. I went to acting school at one point, so I know how to act like the perfect drunk man which means the guys kinda end up leaving me alone because I act like a very sentimental drunk with the purpose to get them to leave me alone. That way I don’t have to keep up the pretend game for very long.

**_1 month later – Danny p.o.v_ **

Thank the gods for whichever vampire made synthetic human blood powder which we can add water too and it acts just as if I am drinking human blood straight from a human expect it is a bit colder than straight from the vein blood. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers especially when you have people now watching you at night when you suffer from insomnia as well as the need to feed so I have to come up with more excuses that would be believable to the others which is surprisingly difficult when the other guy keeps making up things like I was going to have sex with a local prostitute or something like that to make them believe me less. It’s not worked because George has been backing me up every time and I am not sure why.

I honestly thought he would take someone else’s side. Considering I have only been in the band for the last 3 years and the others have been in for so much longer than I have. He said he was going to come over today to discuss some things with me and it was making me nervous. I was due to go hunting, but I made up some synthetic blood in my shaker and took a gulp of it while I waited for George to knock on my apartment door. I so wish I could drink alcohol and feel the effects of it, but I can’t. It would help with how nervous I am and how I could deal with whatever George has to tell me today. It could be him coming to tell me that they think that my behaviour on tours is too suspicious and I need to leave.

I finally manage to watch some television whilst checking my emails. George didn’t give me a specific time which is making my anxiety go through the roof. I wish he would have given me a time to work with, so I was not waiting so long. I think I waited another hour before George knocked on the door. I calmly walked over to the door and opened it. George lifted me up and hugged me whilst he walked in, so I guess some of my fears are squashed a little bit. “Hey Dan, you okay?” he asks me. I had a can of beer on the table for him while I drink my blood like a weirdo. “Hey George. I guess I am okay all things considering,” I tell him. I was still nervous as fuck while I sit a little further away from him than I usually do.

“You’re nervous about why I’m here aren’t you?” he asks, immediately picking up on my body language and how I am sitting further away from him than usual. “Just a bit yeah. My brain has a nasty habit of overthinking things without any knowledge of stuff,” I tell him, very badly explaining my current thought process. I think George can kinda understand where I am coming from though. He didn’t exactly give my overthinking brain much to go on for our little hangout/meeting. He pulls me closer to him and I try my best to relax a little bit. He wants me to relax so I am going to try my best to do that. “Yeah that’s kinda my fault. I just wanted to talk to you about something not band related. You don’t have to worry about your place in the band,” George, says and chuckles as I sigh in relief.

It’s not my fault that my anxiety spiked when he sent me a text message asking if I was home today and that he wanted to have a chat with me about something and it was really important. “So if it’s not band related, then what is it about,” I ask, then take another sip from my bottle of blood. He looks to that bottle then back to me and my anxiety levels slowly start to creep back up again. “I know that you’re a vampire. I noticed it from the very first day I met you. You don’t have to worry your secret is safe with me because I have a secret to tell you,” he tells me. He said don’t worry after I gasped because he knows who I am. He has got to be some kind of supernatural being himself otherwise he would not know that kind of information.

“I am glad that you’re going to keep my secret safe. I was quite worried someone was going to find out. Especially after Matt started staying awake on tour to keep an eye on me when I would go on my night walks,” I tell him. I don’t want to be mean and demand that he tells his secret, but I think he will tell me today. Otherwise there would be no point to his visit other than to tell me something that I already know about myself. “Yeah I am working on him to get him to stop that, because it could be dangerous to you that you don’t get a feed in during tour even if you have synthetic blood now,” George tells me. He could obviously tell it was not the blackcurrant juice I have been telling people it is.

“Yeah, I mean this stuff is good but not as good as fresh from the vein, but I will take what I can get these days. I have been alive since eighteen oh one so with this being so new I had to at least try it,” I tell him, and it felt good to vent to someone who wasn’t family and instantly understood my struggles. There was something different about George and I like it. “Fair enough Dan. I have been alive for roughly about the same amount of time so I can understand that part of it. I however am a Cambion so the way that I feed is different to yours,” he tells me, and I gasp again. I NEVER thought I would meet a Cambion in the flesh. My father had told me about them because the council was working with the Cambion council on a vampire Cambion alliance.

“That’s amazing. I think my father mentioned the vampire high trio working with your council on getting an alliance worked out. We could probably help both councils out by just being friends,” I tell him, and it was his turn to be surprised. I was guessing that he wasn’t accounting for his little vampire friend having a good rapport with the vampire council and knowing what his kind was without even asking. It was awesome either way though. I now feel a lot more comfortable and cuddle up with George on the couch. We’ve had enough shocks today, so I don’t need to shock him even further with a confession of love for him just yet. That can wait a long time I think. Considering he is a Cambion there is plenty of time for us to work these feelings out.

George probably doesn’t even feel the same way about me that I do for him. That’s why I am too afraid to ask him. There is a huge chance of me being rejected and then I probably will be kicked out of the band because it will be too awkward for me to still be there with feelings for a man who probably doesn’t even feel the same way. “Danny are you okay there?? I was asking if you wanted more help covering up for hunts on tour and you didn’t reply,” George tells me, bringing me back into reality. I look at him and then consider my answer. “Yeah I’m fine George I guess it’s a lot to take in knowing that you’re a Cambion and you know that I’m a vampire. I’d like some help covering up going out to hunt on tours,” I tell him.

I try my best not to think about how much I love the man I’m sitting next to and try and concentrate on the TV. “How do you perfect the heartbeat and stuff?? I thought vampires couldn’t do that,” he asks. It’s a perfectly reasonable question, not every vampire he will come across will be like me. “It’s a power that we have from drinking human blood and synthetic blood. We basically get to be our former human selves for at long as we want. One of the downsides is that you have to drink human blood more frequently if you want to keep it up,” I tell him. That was how my father explained it to me back when I first turned, and he was telling me everything I need to one about my new life. I’m sure I probably ended up butchering that explanation, but I hope George can understand where I was going with it.

“Makes sense to me. It’s kind of like us and using essence to do the same thing. It is handy when you have humans who stick their nose into other people’s lives. I’m sure Matt only moved into the same apartment block as me so that he could spy on me,” George says. Come to think of it, Matt has just moved into my apartment block to be on the same floor as me. “Yeah I get that. Matt has just moved into this block like a week ago and is on this floor. I need to go on a proper hunt soon though. This just doesn’t hit the spot,” I tell him. It’s weaker then if I was drinking it fresh from the vein so I need to drink that more frequently than I normally do as well which is driving me crazy. George gets up and leaves my apartment for a moment.

“When I leave come and spend the night with me. That way you’ll have a peaceful hunt because Matt won’t be lurking around like the lunatic he is being right now. I just saw him outside,” George tells me. I think he might be part of that anti supernatural group or something. I’m not one hundred percent sure though because I know he is interested in Alien documentaries and stuff like that. “Yeah, I couldn’t sleep last night so I was going to go for a walk and then I saw him there just standing outside like a weirdo, so I went back inside. This is driving me insane,” I tell him. My parents are coming up from Washington state in a couple of weeks and I will be staying with them in their rental home to spend more time with them and less with Matt.

“Yeah that makes sense. Pack a bag as if you are going away for a night or two. That way Matt won’t question it when we leave together in a little while. We can also just be our normal selves at mine, no need to pretend to be human or anything,” George tells me, and I feel so grateful for another supernatural in the group that I can relate to somewhat. Obviously we have differences, so we won’t relate 100% to each other but it is nice to have an ally regardless. I go into my room and just throw some random comfy clothes into my backpack and some other stuff as if I was going to spend the night somewhere which I am, I just don’t need to sleep for once this night. I don’t usually sleep at home either because I know I am safe to be myself there.

I just go back to the human form power when I know I have people coming over. The only people I don’t do it for is if my parents or siblings come over. I know I don’t have to pretend for them, and I also don’t have to pretend for George now which I instantly switched, and I noticed George did the same. “And our comfort beings now,” he says, and I chuckle. Our drinks have long since been finished so now we can just relax and leave around 6 pm to “go out for dinner” then I will spend the night at George’s house where I will be going with him to hunt. He does not need to drink blood like I do but we can find some people to be our feeding vessels. They will never notice what has happened to them either.

“You have no idea how good this feels,” George and I say at the exact same time as each other which made us burst out laughing. We both know how good this feels to be ourselves around each other. It has been a long time since we could do this with people outside of our own clans and kind. “The councils will be so happy with us when they find out how well we can get along with each other,” George says. He is right, we need to let the councils know soon and they will be happy because we have proved without knowing that Cambions and Vampires can live side by side in peace. Vampires and werewolves however is a different story. Especially after one broke our peace treaty and almost killed me.

The look on Matt’s face two hours later when I walked out with George with the little backpack on my back and George announcing that I am going to spend the night with him, and we are going to enjoy it. We were back with our powers keeping us appearing human as much as we can. It was nice to get back to George’s and feel like I could completely relax. I have never felt this relaxed being around the guys. I have always been on edge because I am worried about accidentally revealing myself and being killed or kicked out of the band. Luckily with George by my side I feel as if my place in the band is more secure. He won’t say anything to the band that would get me kicked out of the band because he would be at risk too.

Our hunting session went amazing as well. I never thought that I would get along with George as well as we are going now that we know each other that little bit more. He was amazed by how much self-control I have especially with human blood. We were talking about it and I have the control because when you drink animal blood, especially in my home town then you won’t worry about the body left behind because it will naturally decay before anyone really finds it. If you kill a human then everyone will know about it by the time 24 hours has passed and your DNA will be all over the body so you will be found and murdered by the council for being so stupid and reckless. That’s if the police don’t get to me first.

“I don’t think I have ever met a human blood drinking vampire who has as much self-control as you,” George tells me when we get back to his. To be fair he has a lot of self-control as well. We’ve had a lot of time to refine our skills and practice. “I could say the same, it’s amazing,” I tell him. I had already excitedly filled my father in on this and he was so happy. There is some pressure for the friendship between vampires and Cambions to happen already. I think it is because there is a huge stigma around the different occult types and them not getting along with each other. If George and I can prove that we can get along with each other then it will be good. “The look on Matt’s face when we left yours was priceless. I don’t know if I have ever seen him that pissed off,” he tells me, we had been watching TV for a while now.

“I know, it was amazing. I bet he was all prepared to make a huge post like Danny is a creep and a vampire and he leaves the apartment at ridiculous times at night even though I could disprove it,” I tell him. I always take my phone with me and whip it out after a hunt to do a little vlog clip to be like hey it is 3 am and I am walking around because insomnia is being a pain and walking in the middle of the night wears me out so I can at least get a couple of hours of sleep. I didn’t do it tonight because there was no need. George was with me so he would back me up regardless. “Yeah, like I said he did it with me and I managed to get him to back off eventually,” he tells me. I then tell him about my plan to prove him wrong.

“That is a good idea Dan, like when you think it is getting too much for you post the vlogs as a collection of life as an insomniac,” George tells me. I chuckle at the idea, but I also think it would be really good. I also feel like a lot of the fans would relate to me with my insomnia struggles as well. “I might do it anyways because it would be something that fans would relate to and it would make me seem more human,” I tell him. It would probably not be necessary because they don’t suspect anything is different about me. I have already hinted at having insomnia issues before now on my Instagram. It is fun having random people on the internet telling me that I should be in bed already and asleep when my brain won’t allow me too.

“Right sit forward you little stress head. I am gonna be cambion and you human but don’t worry I won’t hurt you,” he tells me. I do as I am told and let George sit behind me. It was weird to have me breath and him not, but it will not be the first time that he will probably do this with me. He started off very gentle, like he was barely touching me. “Just let me know if I start hurting you okay? You know what the strength of a Cambion is like,” George tells me, as I give him the go ahead to push a little harder on my back. It felt so nice and relaxing as he worked from the neck all the way down my back. It was very intimate yet at the same time platonic which saddens me a little bit, I want it to be a little bit romantic.

Maybe we will work our way up to romantic massages. Right now it has been a long day with a lot of ups and downs and shocking revelations which I would not have expected in a hundred years. “Oh my god this is amazing,” I tell him as I feel my body relaxing and a brief pain from the tension, but it quickly goes away. George smiles at me when I look at him. I could have this done more often for sure. “You’re welcome buddy. Maybe we should do this more often,” he tells me. Oh how I would love for that thing to be real. It would send me straight to sleep, in fact it actually was a little bit and George chuckles at me. “Goodnight little bear,” George tells me, just as I am about to fall asleep and he thinks I am asleep.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_3 months later_ **

“Best first date ever,” I announce when George and I get back to my apartment. It had been something that George and I had been building up for the last three months ever since we discovered the facts about each other. Matt had backed off now which allowed me to hunt in the peace I had before I had met those crazy fuckers that I call my band mates. “Yeah, and I hate to tell ya buddy but that is the last first date you’ll ever go on,” he tells me. I look at him with a huge grin on my face because I think I got the gist of what he says. “Does this mean what I think it means?” I ask him, feeling hopeful for what is about to happen. “If you want it to mean that then yes,” he tells me, and he wraps his arm around me.

“I want it to mean we are boyfriends,” I tell him. I know I was taking a huge risk by saying that. He did ask me out on a date and that was what the last three hours were about, but that doesn’t mean that he would want us to be boyfriends. He pulls me onto his lap, so I am facing him, and he rests his hands on my back right at my hips. It send little electric shocks up my spine. “Then that is what this means,” he tells me, and we both grin at each other. I could not wait to tell my sister who has been desperate, and I mean DESPERATE for George and I to get together. She’ll probably text me later on tonight and ask if we have gotten together already or not yet. She has seen us together as friends a few times and seen things that we obviously hadn’t at the time.

Perfect timing because my dad was requesting a face time call with me. I almost fall off George’s lap trying to reach my phone, but he keeps me on. I hit answer and my dad’s face appears and he instantly raises his eyebrows at me. “Was I interrupting something? I could always call back later,” My dad asks, and we look at each other. We laugh, because we both know what he is insinuating. “No dad, we both have all our clothes on,” I tell him, and I hear my brother spit out his drink in the background. Dad shows me my brother before showing himself again. I showed George and I in the position I am in. Just so he knows that I was telling the truth even though he knows I would never lie to him. I have no reason to.

“So uh when did this happen? You know your sister will ask,” Dad asks, I had his approval to get with George for about a month and a half. He was never homophobic even though he was raised through the entirety of the 1800’s as a human where homophobia was very much a real problem. “Today, about half an hour ago,” I tell him, and he grins. He might have won a bet on when George and I were going to get together. He smiles and I smile back. My father and I talk for about an hour and George adds a few comments here and there because we are going to be like a huge family soon enough, we have a very long time to allow feelings to develop in strength. We are both going to enjoy ourselves.

Even if we don’t need to sleep because of our gifts, we still go and lay in bed together. It’s some of the little couple things that we still find ourselves enjoying. We still have the right to enjoy those kinds of things. Living forever can be very lonely and if you are too scared to find a partner then it gets even lonelier. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to the band Danny,” George tells me. I blush and smile at him. I am pretty sure he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am not about to tell him that though, because it might be creepy. “I’m glad that I am the best thing that has ever happened to the band. I would never have met you otherwise,” I tell him. He grins and pulls me closer to him even though we are pretty close already.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_And that is the end of another one shot! Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think and stay positive in these rough times!_ **


	4. War Changes You | DM x JD|

****_Hey guys, hope you are all doing okay in these uncertain times. Feel free to talk to me if you need someone to talk to!_ ** **

****_Also, if you haven’t already go and check out my boyfriend Danneh’s one shot over on AO3. He’s worked hard on it._ ** **

****_TW – Mentions of war and injuries_ ** **

****_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ ** **

****_Danny’s p.o.v_ ** **

I sigh and rest my head on the back of my plane seat. I signed up to the army years ago with the knowledge that tours would be difficult, I never envisioned that it would be this difficult though. 6 months of hell and injury is finally over, and I can go back to my husband and try and carry on as normal. I have lost most of the people that were in my squadron to begin with, but I count my blessings that I am able to go home in one piece. Well, as much of one piece as I can. Jorel knows about my injuries, we have been writing letters and phoning each other back and forth over the last 6 months which has been one of the main things keeping me going. That feeling of knowing that when I get off this plane Jorel is going to be waiting with open arms for me to return to him.

A lot of the people going home are getting some sleep. We had to travel in somewhat secrecy so we wouldn’t be ambushed on the way to the airport to travel. I don’t want to go to sleep until I am home, and I am in Jorel’s arms. We have been married for three years now and I think there is no medal or trophy big enough for him for putting up with me. I did all I could on my side by telling him that I wanted to join the army so that he was prepared for that. I know the loneliness will be affecting him a lot and there was nothing I could do about that. I do keep in contact as often as I can whenever I get deployed. “So glad that’s over,” one of my squad mates tell me. I didn’t realise he was still awake, but I nod.

“Yeah definitely. I thought the last tour was bad, but boy was this one hell of a wakeup call,” I tell him. I hold back the wince as pain shoots up my side. We were all injured in some way during this like I mentioned before. Who knew being stabbed in the side with a ton of shrapnel hurt like a bitch? I didn’t until the bomb went off while I was on patrol. “God yeah, just thankful we can go home to our families. I feel bad for those who can’t,” he tells me. I nodded because I agreed with him. I feel very sorry for those families who will have their loved ones coming home in boxes because the enemy killed them. You also have a little bit of guilt that you survived and not everyone else did. You worry that the families are going to blame you even though you had nothing to do with it.

“Yeah, I’m considering sending flowers or something to their families,” I tell him. We had probably guessed that we weren’t going to get much sleep on this flight. I was just set on falling asleep in Jorel’s arms later on tonight. “Me too, maybe we should work with the rest of the squad on getting something for our fallen comrades,” he tells me. It is a good idea and we then start discussing what would be a good gift. It was a good way for us to pass the time while we wait to get off the plane to run or walk into the arms of our loved ones. “Man I can’t wait to wear normal clothes for once,” Jason, one of the other squad members says which makes us chuckle. It was something that even I took for granted being deployed.

You wear the same outfit all the time. Either that or a slightly cleaner back up of the original outfit. The first thing I am going to change into is some clean boxers and some sweatpants. Nothing else is needed I feel. I am not going out to the store or anything like that. I am just going to relax with Jorel and then eventually fall asleep. “What if I want to strip naked and stay that way?” Keith asks and I just shake my head. These two have been the main reason I have some of my sanity left despite everything we have just been through. You could have been to hell and back, but you feel as if you have to laugh or else you would go insane. I don’t fancy crying my way through this, but it is not how everyone deals with it.

Finally after what felt like an eternity we touched down in Los Angeles. We all grab our bags and slowly make our way off the plane to a round of applause from the staff members that were waiting. We all smile and make our way through arrivals to yet more applause and we start looking out for our family members. Jorel saw me before I saw him that was for sure. I only noticed him when he started running towards me with tears in his eyes. I drop my bag just as he runs into my arms and I hold him tightly. “Welcome home,” Jorel tells me, and I kiss his cheek. We’ll get to the proper kissing later; I don’t want to hang out in this airport with loads of people staring any longer. “Thanks babe,” I tell him. We make our way out of the airport holding hands.

“I can’t believe that it is over,” Jorel tells me. It does feel like longer than six months have passed. I put my bag into the trunk, and I pull Jorel towards me. I kiss him on the lips, and he wraps his arms around me. When we pull away he smiles. “Yeah, I am so glad I am back home now,” I tell him. Now it is time for Jorel to drive us home and we can finally relax and not worry about losing each other. “Are you going to take a nap when you get in?” Jorel asks, and I shake my head. I wasn’t that tired just yet, but then I will probably become more tired as we get towards the evening. “Nah, I just wanna change into some comfy clothes and cuddle with you on the couch,” I tell him. He smiles at me; I think that he wanted me to cuddle with him.

“That’s good. Just take it easy though, I will put your stuff into the wash and get you some snacks or something so we can watch television,” he tells me. That sounds like a good plan to me, I didn’t really think of any other plan though. I was slowly starting to get tired as we got closer to the house. I don’t think not sleeping on the plane has quite caught up with me yet, but it will do soon enough. I sighed in relief when we made it home. I had asked specifically for just some alone time with Jorel when I came back from this tour and I would find time for our four friends and everyone else family wise when I settled back into normal life. Luckily they all understood and said they would wait which I appreciated.

“Right, go and put your feet up once you’ve gotten changed and I’ll go get some snacks and drinks,” Jorel tells me. I mock salute him and go to our room in the apartment. You would have thought that we would have bought a 2 bedroom house by now, but we haven’t. We are still happy in our two bedroom apartment with Tiger and Louie. I decide to attempt to have a shower and it did not go to plan as I was in too much pain by the time I was finished so I had to call Jorel to come and help me out. “Aw Danny,” Jorel says and helps me out of the shower and then carefully helps me dry off and get changed into some clean clothes. It was the first time he got to see my injuries since he was told about them.

I flop down on the couch and Tiger comes over to get some attention. Jorel gets all the snacks and drinks he was going to get before I needed his help. “I also got you some of the pain killers that they prescribed you. That will make you more comfortable at least,” Jorel tells me. You know how I mentioned that Jorel deserves all the trophies and there aren’t enough for how good he is to me? This is why. “Thank you babe,” I tell him. I take the pain killers and chase them down with water. Then I move forward slightly so I can lean on Jorel so he can do my hair. “You’re welcome,” he tells me. I close my eyes for a moment and just enjoy Jorel’s gentle hands massaging my head. It is one of the most relaxing things in the world.

I was so relaxed when he was done. I had been slowly making my way through a bag of chips as he was brushing and sorting out my hair which was a little bit of a mess. “I am so glad that you made that decision. I love the guys and they have been a great support over the last six months, but I am ready for this one on one time with you,” he tells me. I knew he would appreciate it which is why I sort of took over and pushed for this private time. We tend to make join decisions when it comes to things like that in our relationship, but I knew it was for the best that I did that. “That’s why I did it, after going through six months of hell I just wanted to go home not have to deal with friendships at that moment,” I tell him.

I knew I did not make sense. Either that or I sounded really nasty. It was not intentional in the slightest because I know that I love the guys and their friendship means the world to me. I just need some time to adjust from going to military life to civilian life and it is going to be hard with a lot of rough patches for me to go through. I am not in the mood to suddenly jump back into hanging out with my friends multiple times a week. “It makes sense and they completely understand where you are coming from. They don’t consider it to be nasty in the slightest,” Jorel said. I was getting welcome home texts from the guys, but they did and enjoy the alone time with your hubby which was nice. I did promise that we’d hang out soon though.

“I would cook something for you so you can enjoy some home cooking, but I feel like having Chinese takeout instead so we can spend more time like this,” Jorel tells me after a while. I was also thinking of the same thing. I wanted some nice home cooked food as I have been living off rations for six months, but Chinese takeout seems so much more appealing right now. It wasn’t because I could squeeze more Jorel hugs out of my first afternoon being home. “Chinese food sounds good right now. Home cooked food can wait for another day,” I tell him. His cooking is amazing, and the day I have it will be worth waiting for. He gets up for a moment which made me sad, but he was getting the menu.

I’m having a little bit of a hard time choosing what I want for dinner. There was just so much food I wanted, but at the same time I know eating too much is not a good idea. I eventually managed to choose what I want and Jorel phone our order in to be delivered as soon as they could. Now the only time one of us needs to get up is either if we need another drink, to go to the bathroom or the food gets here. The ultimate lazy person’s afternoon and I have no guilt about it. Louie had finally calmed down; it took him the entire afternoon to calm down after I had walked through the door because he was just so excited that I was home. He was laying on my legs and getting all of the attention that I could give him.

I laugh when the food arrives. Jorel had to get up to get it because Louie didn’t want me to stop petting him. “Good boy, you keep Danny right there,” was what Jorel said when he got up to go and answer the door. Soon we were eating what had to be the best meal I had in months. Jorel insisted that he had to pay for it even though I was more than willing to pay for it. I was glad that I choose to order not as much food as I typically would because I was stuffed by the end of my meal. “Are you happy there Danny?” Jorel asks me. He was determined that I wasn’t going to do any of the housework even if I wanted to for the next two or three days. It feel a little unfair to me, but I wasn’t going to argue with him.

He would tell me that I have just spent six months fighting in the name of America or for our country and there was no way that he would make me do the chores when I should be resting and adjusting from the military schedule I have been living off for the last six months to being able to get up whenever I want, do whatever I feel like and not have to go out on patrols or protection shifts around our base. I yawned; I was definitely feeling tired now. Maybe I should have a slept at least one hour while I was on the plane. We just kept talking about what we were looking forward to once we got back home to our families. “Do you want to have an early night?” Jorel asks me, and I shake my head.

I am more than likely going to end up falling asleep on the couch, but for now I will try and stay awake for as long as possible. “I want to stay awake as long as possible. I am tired but if I go to sleep too early then I’ll be up really early in the morning and I don’t want that,” I tell him. He just chuckles and kisses me on the cheek. I kiss him back and then Louie licks us both. “I guess that is fair enough. I bet you’re sick of getting up at the crack of dawn now,” he tells me. He could not be any closer to the truth. Getting up at 4.30 am every day doesn’t sound so bad when you have done it for 6 months, but we didn’t get to go to bed until 8 or 9 pm with a minimum of 12 hours of intense work.

“I’m probably going to naturally wake up at four thirty am for the next few days or week. At least I have the option to go back to sleep now which I didn’t before,” I tell him. I know at is definitely going to be awaking up at 4.30 am tomorrow morning. I just hope that I don’t wake him up when I wake up. “Yeah that’s true. Also don’t worry if I happen to wake up when you do we can just readjust our position and then go back to sleep,” he tells me. Now I am starting to suspect he can either read my mind or I am mumbling my thoughts out loud. “Are you suddenly able to read my mind or did I just mumble my thoughts out?” I ask him. He looked at me and laughed, I am glad I can make him laugh. His laugh makes my day, I could be feeling like shit and he will either find a you tube video he knows will make him laugh or just start reading a joke book until we both laugh.

“Oh how I wish the first one could be true. Also the second one isn’t true either. I just know because this is the third time we’ve done this how your mind works when you come home,” he tells me. I had almost completely forgotten about it being the third deployment tour I have ever been on. We have been through this twice before and come out fine. I am sure that we will be fine this time as well. “How did I forget that we have done this before?” I ask him. I love having these conversations with Jorel. I will have gone crazy by now if it wasn’t for him having these conversations with me often late into the night, so I was happy and didn’t think that I was going crazy. “You’ve been through hell and only just arrived home less than twenty four hours ago so that was not going to be on your mind,” he tells me.

“I guess that makes sense,” I tell him. We decided to watch a movie which would let us relax while we waited to see if we became tired enough that we needed to go to bed. Or I would actually fall asleep halfway through the movie. I had fallen asleep on Jorel as well, so I effectively trapped him on the couch until I woke up because he didn’t want to wake me up by moving me off him. I woke up with Jorel halfway through a second or third movie and we had a blanket as well and Louie had moved somewhere else. Tiger was laying on top of us now, purring his little heart out as Jay was giving his lovely little kitty some attention. Tiger looked at me and meowed which kinda gave it away to him that I was awake.

“Good nap there Dan?” he asks me, and I nod. We are probably going to call it a night soon because we are both tired. I had to hold back a yawn when Jorel yawned after I had only been awake from my nap for about half an hour. “When this movie finishes I think it definitely would be a good time to call it a night and at least attempt to get more sleep,” I tell him. He told me that he had a half an hour nap while I napped. I don’t blame him to be honest. I know that film was kinda getting boring when I fell asleep and he finished that one and started another which turned out to be equally as boring as the first one turned out to be. This was slightly more interesting than either of those two movies to me.

The movie could not have ended soon enough for us. We were starting to get tired and that meant that we were not focusing on the movie as much as we should have been. It was so nice to actually lie

down on a comfortable bed. I felt as if I was laying on a marshmallow and it was the comfiest thing in the world. “Best bed in the world?” Jorel asks as he gets changed and all I have the energy to do is to nod at him. He lies down next to me and I snuggle up to him as close as we can comfortably get. “Goodnight my love,” he tells me. I am so glad to be home with him and able to spend as much time with him as I want. “Goodnight my love,” I tell him, and we kissed on the lips before I cuddle up to him and fall asleep.

****_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ ** **

****_3 weeks later – Jorel p.o.v_ ** **

Today marks three weeks since Danny came home from his third and worst deployment tour he has been on. I have helped him settle back into the normal routine and helping him with the injuries he has been recovering from. I don’t think he has been sleeping that well and I know he is trying his best to hide it from me. I am getting our groceries, leaving Danny alone in our apartment for the first time since he got home. My phone is close in case he wanted to call me and needed my help to calm down or something. He has PTSD, the doctors diagnosed him after his first tour, and we keep an eye on the symptoms and go through them together. That was the way that worked for us for the last few years at least.

I wanted to make the shopping trip as quick as I possibly could. I know how much Danny isn’t keen on being alone at home for longer than an hour or two. I have managed to get all of the things that we need for this week in terms of our meal plans and a few things to treat Danny with when he is feeling a little bit down and needs cheering up. I pay for it all and put in in the trunk of the car. On the drive back to the apartment my mind couldn’t help but drift to Danny, and that something was going on with him that he simply did not want to tell me. I can’t force him to tell me anything he doesn’t want to tell me. All I can do is show him that I am going to be there for him and make sure he has all the opportunities to talk to me that he could possibly need.

When I got home Danny wasn’t rushing to greet me as he usually does. I am slightly more concerned about this, but I know he is still home. I put all the groceries away quietly and fed Tiger. Then I walked into the living room where I found Danny. He was fast asleep curled up on the couch with Louie loyally sitting next to his stomach. Louis is always close to Danny in the initial few weeks that my husband is home. That is when the nightmares he gets tends to be the strongest and the ones that he struggles with the most. I sit next to Danny on the couch and covered him with the same throw blanket I had covered him with when he had fallen asleep on his first night home. I still can’t believe that he is home.

I woke up the first morning at 4.30 like we usually do on the first night and it took me a moment to realise that I was just staring at my husband. Staring at him until he spoke because I thought he was a figment of my imagination. Even now I am staring at him while he is sleeping. He is just perfect in every way. He looks so peaceful and handsome. I will probably end up staring at him until he wakes up. He will often speak of how he doesn’t deserve me and that apparently I am too good for him when I think the same thing about him. He could have any woman in the world and yet he still chose me, and it was him who popped the question to me.

It was kinda funny that night because I had the exact same ring in his size because I was going to propose to him. I let him know that night that I was going to propose to him on the same night. He laughed, he told me he had a sneaking feeling that I was going to propose to him. I tried not to stare at him too much as he stirred in his sleep. If he has not been sleeping all that well recently then I don’t want to accidentally wake him up if he needs that rest. I find something quiet to watch on the TV and I text the others to let them know we were probably gonna have a meet up and hang out day soon. We just need a day where Danny isn’t so tired. He’s not known for naps during the day so if he has one then he will undoubtedly be exhausted.

He woke up about 2 hours after I got home. “Good nap bear?” I ask him. He nods before he stretches and snuggles into my side. “Yeah, I thought I was good then I laid down on the couch and before I knew it I had fallen asleep,” he tells me. It tends to happen that way too; you don’t think you need to sleep then you lay down on the couch and three hours pass. Louie places his paw on Danny’s leg which earns him a little head rub. We’ve been considering getting Louie trained up so he can be Danny’s service dog and help him with the PTSD. We just haven’t gotten around to putting that into place because we feel as if we have a good grip on things as they are at the moment but that could always change.

“Did you get what you wanted when you went shopping?” Danny asks me. I nod, then get up and grab one of the cheer up snacks I had bought Danny. I pass them too him and he smiles. “You didn’t have to do this,” he tells me. I grabbed my bag of honey roasted cashew nuts so we could do what we have been doing for the last three weeks and catch up on the TV shows I dared not to watch for 6 months. I didn’t want to watch a show that I had been watching with Danny, I feel like I would be being nasty to him since he would not have been able to watch it while he was deployed. It was something that we did which was special to us. We have shows we talk about together and shows that we talk to our friends about.

“Of course I did, I know how hard these first few weeks are for you and I thought that you needed some cheering up,” I tell him as the title screen for the first show appears on the screen. I had my arm around his shoulders and my hand was on his chest and he snuggled into me. This is often how we sat while we watched the television. I just hope I am not pushing him further away by doing this. It was hard to truly tell if what I was doing was the right thing or not. I couldn’t tell if Danny was doing this because he wanted to please me or that he was ready to start getting back to normal now. “Thanks babe, I think this is what I needed to be honest,” Danny tells me. I smiled; this was working after all. I want to think I am being a good husband.

“You’re welcome bear,” I tell him. Maybe this was the opening I needed. It might be rushed, but he has probably been bottling this up for the last three weeks if not longer. From the looks of the wounds he has healing, he has quite the story to tell. He already told me about the bomb that went off while they were on patrol which had led to the shrapnel stabbing him in the side. I know there was more, he asked me a few times to help clean the wounds and dress them to make sure they didn’t get infected. He had been in a lot of pain; the doctors saw him the day after and made sure that he had the prescription that he needed to get through it all. He didn’t need them as often now, which he was thankful for.

We had gotten caught up on one of the shows when Danny stopped me. “Jay, can we talk for a moment?” he asks me. I put the remote down and gave him my full attention. Louie had even jumped on to his lap ready to calm his owner down whenever it was needed. “Of course we can Danny, I am always here for that,” I tell him. Maybe this will be the conversation that needs to happen, the conversation which will make Danny realise that he is not alone in this battle. “I was hoping that the nightmares would have stopped by now, but they haven’t,” he tells me. I hold his hands, which were shaking like crazy. I always knew that this was a sensitive subject for him, there are a lot of bad memories attached with this.

“Aw bear, you know you could wake me when they happen then maybe we can talk about them, cuddle and try to sleep again,” I tell him. I knew it was probably not the right thing to say, but it felt right to me at the that second. I didn’t know what else to say, it wasn’t like I could even begin to imagine how he felt. I didn’t have to watch my new and old friends die in front of me when I was helpless to do anything to save them. “I know, I’ve just always been too afraid too. I know you know a bit about what happens on these tours and that this one was the worst, but I am afraid you’ll leave me if I tell you everything,” he tells me. I am going to make another vow to him that whatever he has to tell me will not affect my marriage with him.

“Danny, I promised you on the day we got married that we would be together until death do us part. I will still be with you no matter what you have been through,” I tell him, and I still have hold of his shaking hands. He sighs and I kiss him on the lips as my way of proving I still want him as my husband. “Well, you know about the bomb that went off on patrol. There was another incident where we were taken hostage for about three days. It definitely was the worst three days of my life and what my nightmares seem to focus on. With all of the other incidents they mirror the other ones which I know how to deal with. This one feels like a massive smack in the face,” he tells me. Even the army didn’t tell me about this.

I don’t say anything as he goes into more and more graphic details about what he went through. At this point I am tempted to murder every single person who hurt my husband and his squad members. He went through hell ten times over in the space of three days that is for sure. He didn’t give them any of the information that they were asking for either. Once he was done his entire body was shaking as he remembered all the hell he tried so hard to forget in the month that has passed since it happened. Once he had finished I just pulled him onto my lap and wrapped my arms around him to comfort him as much as I could. He broke down into the most heart breaking sobs I have ever heard in my life.

I rub his back in small circles to comfort him but at the same time not comfort him to the point where he stops crying yet. I want him to let all of his emotions out which will help him feel better than if he kept keeping them in. After a while he had cried himself out and was just resting his head on my shoulder trying to wipe the last remaining tears from his face. “We’ll get through this together my love, just like we have done before,” I tell him. He lifts his head and looks at me with a few last tears falling from his eyes. I ever so carefully wipe them away and he kisses me on the lips. I kiss him back and once we pull away he gets up to wash his face. I almost forgot that George had invited us all to a barbeque to welcome Danny back.

“Are you sure you want to go to the barbeque Dan? They won’t get angry if you change your mind,” I tell him. I had gone to our room to change my shirt and found him getting changed into a clean t-shirt and shorts. “Yeah, I think it will be good to take my mind off the memories and focus on something more positive,” he tells me. That is fair enough, we will go and have a good time and I will make good on my promise to help him out should he have any more nightmares about the horror that he went through for those three days. “Fair enough, just let me know at any point if you change your mind and want to go home,” I tell him. I feel as though giving him that option will reduce some of the pressure he gives himself that he has to act normal as soon as he possible could. Things don’t have to be the way they used to be because he feels like they have to.

That went way better than either of us anticipated that it would. We both had a really good time. Jordon is an amazing cook and it was the best cooked meal either of us had for a while. We did leave about half an hour before the others though because I knew Danny was getting tired and I was beginning to feel the same way. Danny was so tired that he had fallen asleep on the couch only twenty minutes after we got home, and I would have to wake him up to get him into bed because there was no way I could carry him there. He wasn’t too upset and being woken up because he pretty much fell asleep again when he got into our bed. “I love you so much Danny,” I tell him. He doesn’t even need to tell me himself, but I know he loves me just as much.

****_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ ** **

****_And that is the end of another one shot. Let me know what you think! Also I know the world is crazy right now feel free to reach out to me if you need to. <3_ ** **


	5. Simulation Life | DM x FM|

**_Au- set in 2017 -Danny’s p.o.v_ **

Dylan had gotten me a new gaming computer for my birthday. He had also helped me with my obsession with the Sims game series. I now own all of the current expansion packs for the Sims 4 and I have an idea on what I am going to do with it. I am going to put all of us into a household as we currently are in real life and see what happens. That means Jorel and Matt are the single pringles who can look for love. Jordon and George will be married as they are in real life. Finally Dylan and I are going to be married as we are in real life. There will be no kiddos and despite all of mods that I have I will not be doing a male pregnancy through human means. If they get kidnapped by aliens and get pregnant then so be it. I’m not going to do anything about it but help them raise the kiddo.

I spent the next half hour making the guys and setting up the relationships so that by the time I play the game the marriages will already be in place. I will probably use some cheats to help set up some other things, but the rest of the gameplay will be all natural. If I am doing simself things then I want to make things as comfortable as possible to begin with and then they can struggle as much as they like from there. I tend to use the motherlode cheat to make a nice house then take a lot of the leftover money from the household so they can fend for themselves after that. I am thinking of a 5 bedroom house for this household, so I have room for any babies if the aliens start kidnapping us and knocking us up with alien babies.

Once I am finished decorating the house which took probably about an hour to do because I took too long thinking about what I wanted and where I wanted it to go I am ready to play. I make them all true friends with each other which earns them the good reputation. They enjoy the welcoming party and make some new friends. Then I start giving some of them jobs because $180,000 isn’t going to be enough to sustain them all for long. I give George the writing career because I know how much he loves his books and reading. Matt gets the astronaut career due to him loving aliens and I wanted to see where that would go. Lastly Jorel gets the Athlete career because I wanted to do something different then all 6 of them having music careers.

My in game traits are – Creative, Music Lover, Natural Singer, Muser and a mod I have gave me The Doer trait for some random reason.

Matt’s traits are – Self-assured, Talented, Music Lover, Muser and The Commander.

Jordon’s traits are – Self-assured, Cheerful, Foodie, Muser and The Thinker.

Jorel’s Traits are – Self-assured, Cat Lover, Vegetarian, Muser and The Idealist

George’s traits are – Bookworm, Music Lover, Natural Musician, Muser and The Provider

Dylan’s traits are - Creative, Music Lover, Goofball, Muser and The Provider

Nothing really exciting happened in the first 3 days. Matt stayed awake the entire first night which earned me an in game achievement and he passed out when he got back from work. Jordon set the barbeque on fire, but luckily everyone survived. The downstairs bathroom sink and toilet broke. My simself fixed the sink and Dylan fixed the toilet. The slice of Life mod definitely made all the moodlets interesting. They kept feeling insecure about their bodies, body shaming and feeling a wide range of emotions that just doesn’t happen in the Sims 4 base game. Then the kitchen sink broke which I set my simself to fix while I cleaned up some of the spoiled food that Jordon left outside.

I was half expecting some cheating to happen like it did the last time I tried to put us as a band into a household together. Geoffrey Landgraab kept asking me out on a date to different things going on in the town which I declined every time. Nobody has used the dining room table yet as far as I have seen. I am trying to let them lead their lives as much as possible with as little interference from me as possible. The only thing I do is keep things tidy when they don’t clean up after themselves. Darrel Charm kept asking my simself to go out with him, but I kept declining. Jordon fell asleep in the hot tub which was probably the most interesting thing which happened on day 4. I need to start setting them up with tasks to help those in work get promotions.

Dylan called me for dinner, and I paused the game because as much fun as it would have been to leave the game to its own devices I was a bit worried about what would happen if I left the game unattended for an hour or so. I didn’t fancy coming back to all the sims having killed themselves because Jordon started another fire, or they didn’t take care of their own needs. “I take it you’re enjoying your new compute then? I’ve not seen you all day and I’ve missed you,” Dylan tells me. He was working on something in the garage all day as far as I was aware. “Yeah, sorry about that. I put us all into the Sims four and I got a little bit carried away with it all,” I tell him. He knows that I didn’t mean to ignore him. I have been trying to get him to play The Sims 4 for a while now.

“Oh yeah? How’s that going for you?” he asks me. I smile because maybe this is time chance I have to get Dylan as addicted to this game as I have become. “Good, Jordon set the barbeque on fire and that’s as about as interesting as it has been so far,” I tell him. I couldn’t really tell him much else because that has been all the interesting stuff that has happened so far. I was also going in and out of the game to tweak some settings. I want my sims to be able to gain their skills faster without me giving them all level 10 with MC Command Centre. There is a skill adjustment in there, but I don’t know if I have set it up wrong because it wasn’t working as well as it used to. “That’s good. Maybe you should show me the ropes later,” Dylan tells me.

As a band we have a gaming channel and a twitch channel where we make content from. Like that one time in American Truck simulator I took a bend too fast and I tipped over. Now I know some cheats that will help me not end up in the services when that happens again. I tried putting in the savant trait mod in to try and make the skill level go up faster, but I don’t think it is going to work either. “Of course I can,” I tell him. We enjoyed our dinner and went back up to the game. I had then realised that I had put the mod into the wrong folder, but I don’t know if it will clash with MC’s skill difficulty adjustment. We will have to see what happens there. The game decided that it was not going to respond so I had to start it all up again.

I explained to Dylan how to navigate the main menu which was fairly straight forward. You could see all the custom content I had installed as well as all of the expansion, game and stuff packs I had. I showed him my saved games, one which was my simself alone going to university, another which was if Reese and I had stayed together and had more children than Scarlett and the final one which wasn’t the Undead one was my Sims 5 100 baby challenge which I needed to play more of because I only had 3 children at that point. I feel sorry for the only girl. “So wait, what the heck is the one hundred baby challenge?” Dylan asks. Strangely enough he was fine with the other two, I guess those two are not as weird as the 100 baby.

“The one hundred baby challenge as the title suggests is to have one hundred babies in as few generations as possible. They all also have to have different dads unless obviously they are twins or triplets. I find it a lot easier on the sims three if I am honest with you,” I explain. I load up the house while he digests that information. I think I have finally found a setting that works as I put Danny on the workout machine since for some odd reason at 3 am on a Friday morning he is the only one who is still awake and he was gaining the fitness skill at a rapid rate. I would like to think that is the savant trait but I would have to test Dylan out on something to see. I put Dylan on the workout machine because I noticed he was starting to get a little bit of chub on and he wasn’t levelling up as fast as Danny was doing.

It must have been the savant trait working its magic. “Oh it’s love day in the game,” Dylan comments, as I give his simself the same aspiration reward as I had given Danny and watched as his fitness skill started racing up. “Yeah, we could take our simselves out on a date and see what happens,” I suggest. Then I realised that I had left the dishes downstairs so I had to pause the game so I could do them. No offense to Dylan but I don’t quite trust him with the game on his own just yet. The sim versions of ourselves need to be in tip to shape before we send them on the date anyways. It would give me a good chance to show Dylan how the sims needs work. I stubbed my toe on the washing machine and swore loudly once I had finished the dishes.

“You okay lil lion?” Dylan asks. I had come in with a slight limp, but I had just smashed my toes into our washing machine so I knew it was going to hurt. “Yeah, just stubbed my toe against the washing machine is all,” I tell him. He had kept the game paused which honestly surprised me a little bit. I was fully expecting him to have unpaused the game and had a bit of a mess around with it but we were exactly were I had left it. I had saved the game before I left too so if something were to go wrong then I could easily get it back to just before everything went wrong. After I teach Dylan how to play I am going to let him take our sims on a date considering it is love day. I also need to give everyone the savant trait because that seems to work in getting their skills up faster.

“I didn’t touch it, I was kinda scared that I would mess things up,” Dylan says, when I sit back down in my chair. Sadie cat decided that she wanted to know what was going on and soon had me stuck in my seat even though I wanted to get a can of Pepsi from the fridge. “No worries, if anything had gone wrong I could just have loaded up an earlier save,” I tell him as I hit the play button. I queued up a bunch of tasks to make sure the boys had their needs filled and all of the bathroom plumbing had started to break for some reason so I tired to get a sim to deal with those and someone was always behind them moping up the mess that had been made. I then show Dylan the basics and make us swap chairs which confused him.

“You’re going to use the skills that I have taught you to make us go on a date in the game,” I tell him. He does and smiles once he sees the cute little romantic reactions that happen between our sims. I notice that still no one eats in the dining room, rendering that room practically useless as they all eat standing up while they are talking to each other. Dylan’s little date goes well and he easily achieves the highest level for it. “Wow, I can see why you’ve become so addicted to it. It is so cool to control your own life in this way. You can be anything you want it to be and then you don’t have to face some of the consequences that you would if it happened to you in real life,” Dylan tells me. That is most definitely the main reason that I have been playing it.

Another thing I noticed about the sims was that they really enjoying spending a lot of time in their sleepwear. For most of the sims they have boxers on and that is how they spend most of their days. also Geoffrey Landgraab still keeps asking me to go with him places and some of the places sounded sketchier than others. They also enjoy mopping the floors even if the sink or toilet is still broken at the time they are cleaning the floor. At least I don’t have to consider getting them a maid. All I need to worry about is their cooking skill which for some was low and that is the time where they are most likely to start fires. “Hey maybe for my stream tonight we should married stream some of this and show people how cool your sims are,” Dylan tells me.

“That is a good idea, we can swap either between who controls the sims or just leave them too it and discuss what is going on while they are living their lives. I am still hoping for aliens to come and kidnap one of them. I don’t see Mpreg as being something that would go down well with the fans unless it was alien,” I tell him. I then have to explain to Dylan what a mpreg means. Basically in the world of the sims you can get your male sims to woohoo with each other and if you have the mods or the right settings you can get a male sim pregnant with a human baby. The other way is for an alien to come and kidnap the sim and the male sims can come back pregnant. Apparently some fans don’t like the human pregnancy but don’t mind the alien one so much.

“Ohh, yeah I can get why they wouldn’t like it but they have to realise that it is only a game and there is a very slim chance that we are ever going to make a you tube video where you are actually a pregnant man,” Dylan tells me. A quick google search tells me that the scientist career is the way to go and the person who is in that career has a higher chance of being taken by the aliens. It also gives us an opportunity to go to work with the sim which will spice things up a bit. I decide that I should be the one to get that career since I am the one who is most desperate for the alien abductions to occur. I will go with the sim when it is stream time because for now I want to keep helping Dylan become more familiar with how it works and what the controls and cheats are.

We had completely forgotten to send Jordon and George on a date so only two sims had a good love day when that happened. I was leaving them to it so prank day never happened even though some gained the mischief skill during the day. They also keep being invited to events which is through the slice of life mod and since I am not controlling the sims they are not going to them. They are also not fixing broken objects without prompting. I think the tumble dryer is going to be the next thing that will go on fire because they never clean the lint tray out. My simself goes on his first day of work and I have to click the send alone button even though I am really tempted to see how that career goes. They also get their first bills on the second Monday which comes to $6,261 which is not bad considering I have probably spent about $200,000 on the entire house.

Just as I thought about the tumble dryer, it went on fire. Poor George also caught fire but hero Dylan saved the day by putting the fire out. The insurance pay-out for the fire was $305 which was a considerable amount less than what the washing machine and the tumble dryer cost to replace. It was a good thing that we have over $100,000 to cover that bill or I don’t think I would have been able to afford that if Jordon keeps discovering fires. It also burned the rug that was in that room however it didn’t give me the option to replace it and I feel as if that room will be just fine without it. The skill cheat is paying off because it is easier for me now to set the boys on their tasks and just let them get on with it knowing they will probably max it out and then will get a promotion when they next go to work.

For example, Jorel just got his promotion for team mascot and he already has the fitness and charisma skill necessary to reach the next level. He just needs to put in the work effort now. The same goes for George who despite being over three hours late to work also got promoted and has the writing skill necessary for his next promotion. Then I get distracted by it being hot and a bright orange notification that George was burning to death because he was getting too hot. I luckily had Dylan save him by making him come inside. Then Matt got home from work and he has also been promoted. Danny was the only one who hadn’t been promoted but I think I have to go to work with him in order for that to happen because instead of skill increases like the other three he has tasks to do.

On second thought apparently he can do his task at home too. I made him do some research on the computer and he almost instantly had his first breakthrough. He just needs another one and for his performance level go up and then we’re done. I keep seeing notifications that Jorel who’s trait is vegetarian keeps eating meat. It is weird because he seems to do it on purpose and the game should know that he should cook or eat the vegetarian safe dishes. He has the high enough cooking skill to do it. Danny is also chief repair person as he has fixed almost everything that has broken in this house so far. Dylan tells me that in 5 minutes he needs to take over the PC so we can stream so I told him go ahead and set up now.

I kinda needed the bathroom and I felt more comfortable leaving the game running as I walked from our office to the bathroom and back. Who knows something more interesting could finally happen? Unfortunately for me though, by the time I had come back and the stream started the only interesting thing that happened was Jorel was dancing in the living room in just his boxers with his beanie on and George and myself were extremely close to wetting ourselves and I had somehow managed to get yet another bladder infection. That was only because of the mod I had in. Then just as Dylan was introducing ourselves and what we were going to be doing George reached level ten of the cooking skill and I reached level two of the comedy skill.

“Hey guys, I have been playing this save for a few hours now and the thought we should show you guys what we have been up to as it is basically our simselves in a household together and we are in control of as little of their lives as humanly possible,” I explain then I go around showing them each sim and their traits and what job roles they have if any and then all the interesting things which happened as I have played. It was time for Danny to do his second day of work and I clicked join instead of send alone because I wanted to see what happened. Then I got throwing into a loading screen. Once the loading screen was over I read the text out loud. I also discovered that I have played the sims for five hours straight as today was the first time I have loaded the game since I installed it.

_Daily experimentation_

_Welcome to FutureSim Labs! You’ll be quite busy conducting essential experiments, researching new technology and maybe even interacting with alien life. It is your job to leverage potent scientific equipment for the purposes of good. We hope. Well, welcome._

“Oh great I always wanted to interact with aliens. I also kinda want to do it for the whole abduction thing because considering I have been a long time sim fan I have never been abducted by an alien in the sims four, Sadie lets go,” I say. My loyal kitty had come back and meowed to announce her arrival so I had picked her up and placed her on my lap even though she wanted to go on the back of my chair. She was an instant hit with the fans especially when my microphone picked up her purring like the maniac she is. I kissed her on the head and she eventually settled down to watch me play because she enjoyed the people moving around. She even looked at me as I was discussing what I was doing and I was acting like I was having a conversation with my little cat.

“Gosh your little nose is cold,” I tell the kitty who after having a good sniff of my armpit decided that she would stick her nose on my arm. I start rubbing her head while Dylan takes control of my sims actions which also makes the fans go in a frenzy as you are guaranteed to be a successful and popular streamer when you bring your adorable pet on. She even holds my hand as she washes herself which was the cutest thing. We almost filled the bar by the time the work day was finished but we didn’t which made me a little sad but we know what to expect for next time so we can do better next time. I tried to get a cute little selfie of me and my kitty playing the sims but I accidentally dropped my phone onto the floor and scared the kitty away.

I did apologise to her though, she knows deep down I didn’t mean to drop my phone. It didn’t break which was good but I also had my case and a screen protector on it as back up because you never know what might happen. My simself went to bed when he got back from work so we spent a little bit of time focusing on Jordon and whatever he decided to get up to because we were not going to control their lives unless we had to. “There are plenty of vegetarian safe food around so Jorel should hopefully stop making and eating meat ones now,” Dylan comments as he puts the serving plate of veggie burgers and the plate of pancakes in the fridge. There was also a plate of cookies that Jorel could safely eat and Jordon was in the middle of grilling a pot of camper’s stew on the barbeque because apparently that is a thing you can do.

“Someone just commented saying that Jordon needs to stay away from the barbeque,” Dylan says, we have swapped over again and I made Jordon go star gazing while Dylan read out some of the chat messages. “He does, but I don’t think he is very likely to set it on fire again. I think the tumble dryer is the main fire hazard here,” I reply, as I quickly zoom the camera over to the washing machine and tumble dryer combo at the same time as watching a sims 4 how to get abducted by aliens video on aliens. “The observatory Jordon is using could work in our favour,” Dylan tells me. It really could because we are all getting desperate to see some aliens and to see what happens. “Yeah he’s just the right level for something,” I tell him.

I click on Jordon and make him use the search for the truth interaction to see what happens. “I am sure to go that I have done with before accidentally and it has been easier than this. Well, at least Jordon is level ten in the logic skill,” I tell him. Then it was time for Danny to go to work again and I was determined to make him have the best day in work ever. I got a crystal from co-worker in my first hour in game. I was also tasked with making a synthetic food serum which sounds interesting. “Does that mean we make the food for Matt?” Dylan asks, referring to the fact that in the sims world Matt is an astronaut. I was thinking about my answer as I played through the game and managed to break the machine I was using in the game.

“We could be. We have no idea what the sims four astronauts eat. Also I think I am hungry because that baconite sounds tasty,” I tell him. I showed him the notification that said we got a metal called baconite from one of our co-workers. “Maybe you should have rubbed some bacon on the machine to make it work again,” Dylan jokes and I just roll my eyes. I love the random references but now was not the time. Just as I was making the food serum for the second time because the first one had failed our elderly co-worker who had just given us the baconite laid down on the floor and passed away. “RIP Keala Hoapili, we only knew you one day, but it was the best day of our lives,” I say after I had recovered from the shock of that.

We finished our shift with a promotion. I think Jorel also got another promotion today. Darrel is more persistent then Geoffrey Landgraab who has seemed to have given up trying to get my sim to go out with him. “Aw, you kissed me and now you’re probably telling me about your day in work,” Dylan says as he watches our sim interact with each other. I let the conversation happen then laugh as it was really a discovery of a new type of fish. “Yeah, I am going to stick with that one because it sounds cuter then hey look what fish I discovered today. Also why are you letting Jorel invite a woman in when he is just in his boxers?” I ask. Emilia Ernest is a pretty young adult, might be the perfect sim match for Jorel or Matt if we work hard enough.

“I only saw her outside and decided Jorel should invite her in. I had no idea he was just in his boxers but then again so am I by the looks of things,” he says and then he reads out some more of the notifications we were getting from the stream. Our luck paid off, just as I was about to ask why Emilia was uncomfortable Jordon got abducted by the aliens. “God damn it. My career is a waste of time if Jordon can just hop in the observatory and then search for the truth and the next night he gets flipping abducted,” I tell him. I have to restrain myself a bit though. Just because Jordon got abducted does not guarantee that in three or four sim days’ time he is gonna pop out an alien human hybrid baby. There is a 25% chance of that happening.

“Nothing yet. Right we’re gonna leave the game running real quick while we go grab some drinks. Keep an eye on them for us,” Dylan says. It is true, Jordon had come back just as we had left and there were no obvious signs or moodlets that he had been impregnated. “I don’t think he’s pregnant this time,” I tell him, as we come back there was a lot of funny messages in the chat which we read out while we were checking on the sims. They have become really efficient at taking care of themselves. “A cat called Tiger with a hundred bits says you better put my cat mom into the game so help me god,” I read then start laughing. I don’t think the fans are that impressed with Jorel being with anyone other than Vanessa. Dylan laughs too.

“Next stream we will make and add Vanessa into the game and into the household. Right now though I wanna focus on some other things and see where they take us because we are not going to do a one off with this you guys,” I tell the chat. I had already been recording the stream so I could edit it up into a video series to go on to the channel. Dylan goes on to explain that I have made a Vanessa sim in the past and if I haven’t saved her then it would take me a long time to make her again and that we would at least attempt it. We have plenty of time tomorrow to explore and focus on another sim because with the science career our attention had shifted onto my sim and what he was getting up to. “Damn Daniel, back at it again with those breakthroughs,” Dylan jokes.

“Oh whoops, I was still brainstorming that is why. I was supposed to be making the SimRay,” I tell him. Lilith has stolen our first invention after it had been there for two days. I guess it doesn’t really matter but I still felt hurt that someone had taken our hard work. Maybe if it asks us to use it on a sim we could use it on her as payback. “That is one hell of a smoky SimRay,” Dylan comments. I then realise that Lilith had left work so I decide to freeze our only male co-worker instead. The moodlet that goes with freezing a sim is so perfect. We’re getting better at letting Danny have more fantastic days at work now that we know more of what we are doing. “Right then, let’s check on Jordon and see how he is doing,” I tell Dylan.

“Nope no pregnancy here. We’ll have to try again maybe with Danny this time,” Dylan comments. I think that could work. If not we could send Jordon out again. I send Danny to go and observe the night sky even though it was too early to use the search for the truth interaction. I forgot what level my simself has in logic so I suppose a few extra hours won’t hurt. “Wow Matt is acing his career,” I tell him. Another promotion is in the bag. These guys are getting quite successful. I set George on a task to create a motivational book while we look at his current job performance. “George is gonna be next too,” Dylan says. He was already at level 7 for writing I don’t think we would have to worry about the levels once they all hit level 10 in everything.

My accidental forgetting to cancel interaction worked in my favour too. All my sim needs to do now is to get his performance up and he will be promoted as well. In our endeavour to see if we could set up Danny to be abducted by aliens in the morning we had maxed out his logic skill. So all we need to do now is to focus on his work and getting him fantastic reports at the end of each day. “Someone is going to go to work tired in the morning,” I comment. My simself stayed up all night searching for the truth and had two hours left before he had to leave for work and he was fast asleep on the bed. “We could always cheat his need if it gets too bad,” Dylan comments. I decide to cheat his needs so that he has the best day possible.

We also decide that we are going to end the game when we have finished Danny’s next working day after waiting to see if there will be any potential abductions. We have been streaming for two hours now and I was beginning to get tired. Dylan didn’t want to carry on without me either. I guess that is the downside to doing this as a married stream instead of a single stream. Maybe when Dylan is more sims confident we can get him to stream his sims games or this one by himself. At least the sim version of me can garden better than the real me can. I wasn’t concentrating too well on this one because I was getting tired so his performance slipped a little bit. At least we earned another vacation day that we could use at some point.

We ignore Darrel and Geoffrey again and find a rare crystal in our backyard once the sim version of myself gets home. Both Jorel and Matt have minor performance losses as I make the wrong choices. The sim version of myself also maxed out his fitness level and his charisma level as we wait to see if he gets abducted or not. There were also sadly no more alien abductions this time which made me a little disappointed. Maybe next time I guess. I know I could always cheat the way there but I don’t want to. It will feel better if it was more authentic as strange as that sounds. Once the stream is over Dylan and I get ready for bed. “Goodnight Dylan I love you,” I tell my husband. I had settled into his arms and was so ready for sleep. “Goodnight Danny I love you too,” he tells me.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_And that is the end of another one shot! Let me know what you think! Also let me know if you want a part two. Everything that happened to the sims was based on what happened in my sims game, including all the broken electronics and plumbing. This was honestly so much fun to make and I want to do it again some time._ **


	6. Boarding School

**_Hey guys, this is an AU where everyone is the same age around 13 years old. This is also based on UK boarding schools. (I don’t know if there are boarding schools in America or what they are like but I will be focusing on the UK ones as I can find more research online like you tube videos of documentaries based on life at Harrow or Sunningdale boarding schools.)_ **

**_The age gaps and actually years of birth do not count here neither do some other details because this is fictional._ **

**_Anyway let’s go!_ **

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_Danny p.o.v - 2012_ **

Today is my first day at Harrow boarding school. I flew in from Los Angeles California a week ago so I could get used to the time differences before starting school. I think I am being put into West Acre house; I will only know when I get there. I don’t think I know anyone else who is going to be going there. I read over the letter in the car on the way to the school and I know I am definitely in West Acre house which means I am going to be one of 66 boys who will be living there. “I know you are nervous Danny, but I know once you settle in you will be just fine,” my mother tells me. The only thing that I am worried about is knowing that my family are on the other side of the world pretty much and I will be alone in the house with no one I know.

“I know, I just don’t know how I will do being on my own,” I tell her. We are almost there and I can tell there are already butterflies in my stomach. At least I have a phone so I can contact her over the next few days and weeks while I settle in. “Don’t forget you can phone me whenever it gets too much. The house master will know how you are feeling because he deals with every year and they will support you,” mother tells me. I just nod, knowing she saw me and look out the window to take in London’s scenery in before we get there. there are 324 acres which is where the school is located. There are 12 boarding houses as well. It is a lot to take in. I don’t even know how I am going to remember all of these things; I am probably going to forget a lot of them at first.

Then we arrive and part of me doesn’t want to leave the car, but I know I have to. Mom hugs me tightly when I do get out of the car. “Don’t panic Danny. I will be with you for as long as they allow me to,” she tells me. It made me feel a little bit better and I didn’t have to worry about my mother suddenly leaving me without saying goodbye. We get my suitcase and then walk into West Acre house for the first time. I feel so overwhelmed because this house looks so huge. There are 65 other boys in this house at the same time some of them will have been here before as they go through the years. We are now known as Shells and are some of the 160 who will have enrolled in the school this year. I am probably not the only American either.

Martin Smith is the current house master but it his last year so for the other 5 years we will have someone else. The matron is a lady called Cate Bain and she is a here to make sure that we settle in and that we are all okay. We were introduced to them first before I was introduced to any of the boys. I don’t even know which room I am going to be staying in yet. “Welcome Daniel, hope the travel from California wasn’t too exhausting for you,” Martin says, as we shake hands. I think I am going to be shaking a lot of hands today. I stay somewhat close to my mother because I was still nervous about it and a bit scared of how many new people there are. “We came a week ago so we could get adjusted to the time zone difference before term started,” Mom replies.

I was too nervous to talk to begin with. I also had to complete and hand in some more of the entrance tests before term started as well. “Ahh, there are two other boys who have also come from California and they have done the same thing. You might know them already, but all of the Shells are in the same boat as you,” he tells me. It is good to know that I am not alone and not the only boy who is basically moving away to another country just for academic reasons. Most people are from London or other cities in the UK. There aren’t many people who are from America or a different country. From what I have heard this is a very expensive school and I was lucky enough to be a music and academic scholar. That means the scholarships I have will pay for my time here.

“Ayyy Danny!!” Someone shouted, and I turned around in a full circle to spot the familiar voice who shouted my name. It turned out to be Dylan who used to be one of my friends when we were in middle school in Los Angeles. “Oh hey Dylan,” I tell him, just as he tackled me to the floor. My mom was happier now she saw Dylan. At least there is someone I know to keep my company here. We get up off the floor and then hug each other more gently. “It’s good to know that you are here Dan. I was beginning to think that I wasn’t going to know anyone here,” Dylan tells me. I felt the exact same way because you come to a new country you have no idea what the people are going to be like and if there are going to be anyone you know there.

“Yeah, it is good to at least have one friend around,” I tell him. Both my mother and Martin were smiling at us. I felt quite relieved now and I can’t wait to have lessons with Dylan again. It has been a long time since we were in a classroom together. We had a tour around the building and then we were told that Dylan and I are going to share a room. That makes it even better for the two of us to settle in to the new life we will be living. UK education is a lot different to American education for sure. Everyone we have walked past have such posh English accents and Dylan and I are just here like we can speak as posh as they do, but we have American accents. I am hoping that it is not something we are going to be made fun of for.

The only other American in our boarding house is a lad called Jordon. I have seen him before, but I have never actually spoken to him. He never went to the same elementary or middle school as us, but I have seen him around Los Angeles. We were with our parents the entire time and now Mr Smith told us it was time to send us one way and the parents the other which means that it is time for the bit I have been dreading for a long while. “Call me later on okay Danny? You’ll be fine with Dylan here,” she tells me as I hug her as tightly as I can. I look and see Dylan was hugging his parents just as tightly as I was hugging my mother. “I’ll call you later mom I promise,” I tell her, and then it is time for her to go back to the hotel we have been staying in.

We sit on the floor when it is time for bill which is basically register which happens in the house three times a day. When we go through the years we will be allowed to sit on the sofas for bill, but as we are shells we sit on the floor for the entire year. We can sit on the sofas at other times though, we are not completely banned from them. Dylan puts his arm around me and I felt a little more comfortable despite the face my mother just left. We listen to Mr Smith’s speech and he told us shells to start introducing ourselves to each other because we are all in the same boat and it will help us. That was where we formally met Jordon who was also from Los Angeles like us. We also met three lads who are from London who seem to be pretty cool.

They were Jorel, George and Matthew. “Wait so the three of you are from Los Angeles? What made you want to come to the UK and Harrow?” George asks us. We had sort of formed a circle and we were getting to know each other more. “My parents wanted me to go for a different education because I am too young for an American boarding school,” Dylan says, I knew his parents could easily afford for him to come here. Jordon was also here on a music and combined scholarship like I am so we had the same answer as each other. “My mom wanted me to see what I could do with my musical talents and if I can benefit any more from a British education than the American one I have been having,” I tell them. Jordon said pretty much the same as me but he included his dad in his answer. My dad hasn’t been around for a few years now, so I tend to not include him in anything.

Dylan and I went back to our room and we started putting our things away and making our room more like ours. I put my duvet covers on the bed and made it look almost like my bed back home would look like. I didn’t have one of my blankets, but I knew there was no way I would have been able to fit it into my suitcase so it was a sacrifice I had to make. I will be just fine without it and I know that it will be waiting for me when I get home once this school year is over. “Wow Danny you are a pro at this,” Dylan tells me as I teach him how to put the pillow cases on the pillows the way my mother had taught me years ago. First I put the pillow in a little bit and then shake it until it goes all the way down. It doesn’t quite work for the duvet cover but I have my own method for that.

“It was one of the things my mom taught me a few years ago. She also taught me how to put the duvet cover on,” I tell him. I do it when the cover is inside out first and grab the corners of the duvet then flip it so it is the right way round and then give it a shake, put the other two corners in, do the buttons and give it another shake before putting it onto the bed. I help Dylan with his and then wave to Jorel who walked in. “How are you guys doing?” he asks, just as I dump Dylan’s finished duvet onto his head. He gives a thumbs up as he finishes sorting his bed out. “I’m doing alright thank you. How are you?” I ask. It is nice to just gave these conversations especially since you will be living together 24/7 for weeks at a time and only going home on holidays.

“Did you all find the chocolate on your pillow?” Jordon asks as he rushes in with his. We had all found ours and I had put mine away for a later date. I don’t want to eat it straight away. It is weird to be one of 14 Shells, but we are quickly adjusting to it. “Yes, did you also find out that we have lessons on a Saturday morning?” Jorel replies, and I hold back the laughter as Dylan and Jordon’s faces drop. I sort of knew already because I had gone to the new boys tea party and some other events when they told me what to expect here. I think I will be okay once I have been here for a few days. I think on our first official day of term we are getting a tour around the whole school. I already feel a little lost walking around the house.

“Yeah, but it could be a lot worse. You could have lessons on a Sunday,” I tell them. I was hanging up all my uniform because I didn’t want it to become all creased before we have our first day in school. The hats look quite cool, but they also look like they will break quite easily. It suppose that it was happens when they are made of straw. I have heard stories about the tops of the hats falling off which is not a good thing because you have to wear that hat every day. “Does everyone know how to tie a tie?” Dylan asks, after a while. Jorel was done with his room already and he was sitting on my desk chair while Dylan and I walked around the room unpacking everything and making sure that it was all tidy. We all have a computer which is pretty cool.

“I do” I tell him, and Jorel himself looked at little bit unsure. I had been practising for months to make sure that I knew what I was doing and I didn’t have to rely on someone else to help me to it. “I sort of know, I’d have to watch someone to be one hundred percent sure,” Jorel tells us. It was weird to hear how much our accents stand out compared with his. As he is from London he blends in with most of the older boys, but Dylan, Jordon and I stick out like sore thumbs because our accents haven’t changed to sound more British. “Don’t worry Jorel, if you struggle to begin with by the first exeat you will know how to do it,” one of the Removes tells us. He is basically a boy who is in the year above us and will be one of the ones helping us settle in.

Exeat is when we get to go home for a weekend and it happens at least once per half term. For Jordon Dylan and I will we probably have to spend that weekend at our friend’s house. I don’t expect my mother to fly back from California just for the weekend and then fly back again Sunday evening. Then again it would be something that we probably could work out as they get closer. I don’t think I want to burden one of my new friends parents by staying at their house when they would want some more private one on one time with their sons. I really over think things I have noticed. “Also don’t get custos report whatever you do. They are given to you for minor uniform offences and you have to be there between seven fifteen and seven thirty in the morning,” the remove tells us.

I definitely do not want to be on custos report then. I struggle to get up in the morning to begin with. I am only just getting over the jet lag from being 8 hours away from where I was born and raised. It’s not an 8 hour car ride either, it’s an 8 hour flight and time zone difference. I am going to make sure my shoes are clean and polished and my uniform looks the best at all times because the custos report is just not worth getting in my opinion. The uniform is expensive as heck so why would you ruin it. I get that the sports gear is going to get muddy but that is to be expected and it can be washed. We also have to prepare ourselves for the many house competitions we will be participating in. Apparently West Acre is known for it’s musical talents, so I am personally looking forward to the music challenges.

There is a piano which I could not resist the opportunity to play. I went for the traditional Fur Elise. Dylan and Jorel had followed me down and were listening to me play it all the way through. I had professional lessons back in Los Angeles as well as attempting to teach myself as the lessons had become too expensive when I got more advanced. I just love the sound when I dance my fingers across the keys in the oh so familiar melody. One day I would love to be able to play In the Hall of the Mountain King without having to look at the sheet music for it. Then again it is more difficult as Grieg never intended for the song to be played on piano. Maybe a song like Bohemian Rhapsody or Tchaikovsky’s Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy would be easier.

“Ahh I can tell why you got onto the music scholarship then. I bet you would be ace at the glees and twelves Danny,” One of the upper sixth boys told me. He was in the room and was listening to me play. I accepted the compliment, but I was a bit confused by what he meant by glees and twelves. “The glees and twelves is one of the many interhouse competitions which is as an acapella singing competition. One of the upper sixth will be in charge of the nine boys who will be on the team. I don’t think the song has been chosen yet, but I have a good idea of the song,” the upper sixth boy explains which makes a lot of sense. It reminds me of the show Glee and the glee clubs that have been around for a long time. That would be fun to do for sure.

“Maybe, but what if my singing is rubbish. I can play piano just fine, but you can’t do that in an acapella competition,” I tell him. I then get asked to sing so we could find out so I settled on the song S.O.S by Abba. That way I could focus on the piano keys while I sang. I really tried to not look at the other boy’s faces otherwise I might have messed up. Jorel sang with me, which I didn’t expect but I rolled with it because he sounded really good. Then for fun Dylan and I sang Lay All Your Love on Me, I thought that was just a fun Abba song to sing with him. We would alternate who would sing which part whenever we sang it. Jackson which was the name of the Upper Sixth lad who was with us and Jorel even joined in while we sang to the karaoke version of it.

“Yep, all three of you would be good candidates for the glees and twelves,” Jackson says once we had finished singing. We were starting to draw a lot of attention onto ourselves and the nerves sort of crept up again. “I didn’t know you listened to Abba Danny,” Jorel says, as we make our hasty retreat back to mine and Dylan’s room. “Yeah, my mother wanted me to grow up with as much music diversity as possible. I used to listen to Queen and all kinds of bands when I was a little younger. Not so much now, but I still enjoy them,” I tell him. My mother used to wake me up by singing Bohemian Rhapsody every morning. I am going to miss that the most, however I do not expect anyone else to fill in for that role. I would rather my mother do it.

“Anyways, what lessons are you most looking forward too,” Jorel asks Dylan and I. it was something which I had considered because different countries have different ways of teaching people and I had done my research. “I think I am personally looking forward to learning about History. I want to learn about British history like kings and queens and the war,” I tell him. I don’t think Dylan is going to have the same opinion of me. “I am more interested in science personally,” Dylan tells me. That makes more sense because he always loved the science lessons back in Los Angeles. I loved history back in LA too, but I wanted to learn more about different countries all the time instead of about how America was founded and things like that.

I guess it is because I am from there that I would find it more boring and why the United Kingdom’s history and the Kings and Queens past is so much more interesting to me. We talked until the house master told us to get ready and to go to bed because we will be incredibly busy over the next few days as we settle in. We will be learning a lot and getting used to all of the weird and wonderful traditions that will lead to us becoming fully fledged Harrovians. We also have to pass the new boys test which is about the house names, the beaks (teachers) names and initials as well as the house colours. We also have to learn the song Forty years on. That is one of many songs that we will be learning this year. Even if you are not a musically strong house, you would still be singing during the school events throughout the year.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_4 Weeks later – Danny p.o.v_ **

These last 4 weeks have been the busiest I think I have ever been in my life. We were all starting to hang out more and Jorel and I had made it on to the Glees and Twelves team and we were going to be singing Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap. It is a song which came out 6 years ago and was acapella by nature which was perfect for us and we have been practising and practising ready to sing it in front of the entire school and make Mr Smith proud of us. We need to make the other boys of West Acre proud as it would be an incredible achievement to win the Glee competition. I can’t wait even though I am probably going to be more nervous on the night. We even have the shell playlet to perform this term as well. I can see why we have the packed time table.

It has definitely helped me feel less homesick because I would not have as much time to myself where I am alone and can really dwell on my feelings and how much I miss my home and my mom. I have been calling my mother pretty much every night since the first night and she was happy with how much I was settling into my life at Harrow school and West Acre house. I have taken up rugby but I had been cautious to not get injured before the competition tonight. They don’t want us to go to hospital and break a bone which could mean that we would have to pull out of the competition. Everyone has been talking about how it is the biggest competition of the whole year and it would be so huge for us to pull the win for once.

“We are performing tonight Danny, how are you feeling?” Jorel asks me, we were getting our suits on and making sure that we look the smartest we can. I believe we are the first ones performing as well which is both good and bad. “Currently? Absolutely bricking myself. Ask me once we are done and I might have a different answer for you. I have not even performed in front of one hundred people before,” I tell him, being completely honest. I had started picking up some slang terms from them and my accent is slowly starting to change. I still sound out of place, but I can harmonise well with my fellow team members which is all that matters. “Don’t worry Danny, I am going to be on the opposite side to you and you can focus on me if that helps you,” Jorel tells me.

“Thanks Jay. I think I am going to do that to be honest. If I look at all at the hundreds of people looking at me back I don’t think I will be able to do it,” I tell him. I use my comb and hair gel to make my hair look as neatly as I possibly can which should last me through the night. The head of our team is called Steven and he knocked on my door and I let him in. I had just given my hair gel to Jorel to sort his hair out if he wanted to. “Are you two almost ready?” he asks us, and we both nod. I was ready, I was just waiting for Jorel to be finished. “How are you two feeling about tonight?” he asks us, we were now ready to go and we were walking to the lobby of the house to meet up with the rest of our team. “I’m quite nervous actually. I have never performed in front of this many people before,” I tell him.

“No worries Danny. We all feel a bit nervous especially on our first performances. The way you guys are all set up will hopefully allow you two to look at each other and they won’t deduct any points for it because they will know Shells get nervous,” Steven tells me. It made me feel a little less nervous and I know Jorel is nervous too, but he was not as ready to admit it as I was. I have no idea what the other 5 houses are going to sing, but we don’t think it is going to be the same song as ours. Well, I hope it isn’t going to be the same song as ours. I haven’t paid too much attention to what exactly is going to happen tonight, but I knew that we are going to be performing first. I bet even some of the older boys are nervous, they are just better at hiding it.

I felt goose bumps as we sang our song and I was so relieved when it was all over and we all gracefully walked off the stage to watch the rest of the performances. Some were really good, and it made me feel as if I was going to let the whole team down. Some were also really bad, but I did my best to keep a neutral face. I had over heard some boys saying that I didn’t fit in with the rest of my team because my accent made my voice so much more different to everyone else’s. I paid no attention to this because I knew that my accent can be used to my advantage. Who want’s to sound like every British boy from London when you can sound different? I certainly didn’t want to sound like every posh boy I have met in my month here.

The third and second places were read out and it wasn’t us which made us feel even more nervous when he said, “And in first place,” then he took a long pause in between that and his answer. I looked to Jorel who was looking at me. Jordon, George, Matthew and Dylan were here supporting us and were desperate to know what the answer is. “West Acre,” the judge said after what seemed like forever. We all instantly jumped up and cheered. We finally won the glee and it felt so good. My accent wasn’t out of place enough to make us loose. Steven goes down to get the trophy and holds it very gently because he didn’t want to drop it. Now it is time for us to all walk back to the boarding house so we can celebrate our victory with Mr Smith.

We were invited to the house master’s side of the boarding house which is somewhere where we are not usually allowed to go into. We listened to his speech and then performed our song again for the house which is yet another tradition. We also had some pizza and chicken wings which was pretty nice. Then we went to out side of the house to enjoy some time with our friends who we had become extremely close to over the past month. “Damn boys, I knew you two were good singers before but man did you pull that off,” Dylan says, and hugs me tightly. I hug him back then get jumped on by the rest of the guys who were equally as impressed with our singing skills as Dylan had been. “I think we are going to have a good year with the singing competitions,” Steven says.

A few short hours ago I would have been more inclined to disagree with him. Now though, I am more inclined to agree. “We also have the house play to do as well,” someone else says, which makes the boy who has been given the honour of directing our house play this year groan. Apparently it involves quite a bit of cross dressing which sounds interesting to me because I have never experienced that before. I am quite interested to perform more and more as the school year goes on. Now that I have done it for the first time I am more inclined to do it more because I am finding myself enjoying it despite how much I was terrified of performing beforehand. I think the matron had recorded it so that we could sent it to our parents.

I can’t wait to show my mother the video. We had been discussing how she would be able to attend some of the annual events and we decided that we would try and record the ones she couldn’t go to so that she could feel like she was there even if she wasn’t. The events closer to the holidays and Exeats will be the ones she is more than likely to go to. That way we can spend more meaningful time with each other and when she has to leave again I won’t be as upset because I will know that we had a lot of fun together. “Do you know where Churchill’s songs are being held this year?” Jorel asks one of the older boys. That is the next big event that is happening in a few weeks’ time. All I know is that it is named after one of the prime minsters who used to attend the school.

“The Churchill’s songs this year is being held in the Royal Albert hall and is expected to sell out as it does every time,” Jackson replies. I have definitely heard of the Royal Albert hall before and that is a massive venue to sing at. I believe there could be over 5000 people there listening to us singing songs like Five Hundred Faces and Forty Years On. Every 5 years we go to the Royal Albert hall to do these songs so us Shells will do it twice during our time here. It started when Winston Churchill was prime minster for 10 years and he felt quite depressed. His secretary suggested that he come back to this school and the pupils there would sing him songs and thus another strange yet wonderful tradition was born. It is going to be different for sure.

I think I would love for my mother to be there and to sing the songs with us. She was the one who introduced me to music. She was the one who pushed me to try my best when I was trying to earn my place here and it would be the best if she were here to see how much I have embraced school life now. The Matron sent me the video which I immediately sent on to my mother. I felt a little more homesick tonight than I have in a while and George was the one to pull me down onto the couch while we were in the main gathering area. “It’s been a tough month for you I know, but you did so well today you should be proud of yourself,” George tells me. I was a little bit sad, but I was trying my best to hide it even though George already knew.

“I know, I guess it hasn’t quite hit me until tonight either. I knew what homesickness felt like before tonight, but I think knowing that it was my first major Harrow event and we won and my mother is an eleven hour plane ride away as well as being eight hours behind time wise is a lot to take in,” I tell him. I would have opened up to him anyway even if the Matron weren’t around keeping an eye on us. I think she was worried about me tonight more than usual. “Well, she will be overjoyed when she watches the video of you in the drawing room. Maybe we can get you a picture of you holding the trophy to send to her as well. That would be a nice picture of her to have at home,” he tells me, and we get permission from the house master to take a picture with the trophy which I text to my mum just as she sends me a text about how well she thought I sang tonight.

I hadn’t told her that we had won the competition yet. I wanted to wait to see how she felt the performance had gone and got a feeling of what her reaction would be if we were to lose. It went how I thought it would go and she told me no matter if I won or lost she would be proud of me regardless especially because I took part. Then I sent her the photo of me holding the trophy that George had just taken. She was very excited and told me it was one of many wins our house is going to get this year and she couldn’t wait to come and visit. George then talked to me about what his childhood was like here in the UK and encouraged me to talk about mine. It was a good tactic to help keep me distracted for a little while.

Later on that night I went to bed on a high. No, not a drug high because there is no way in hell that I would be allowed to even attempt to get some drugs around here. I was happy, I had worked so hard in this last month and it has all paid off. Apart from Dylan I had started at this boarding house with only one friend and now I have at least 6 with more of the house boys wanting to be friends with me as the days go on. This was something that I had not quite expected. Dylan had fallen asleep already by the time I had finished getting myself ready for bed. I had spent a lot of time talking to my mother about how I am finding life at Harrow. It might be 11 pm for me right not but it is only 3 pm for her. I eventually fall asleep after she had sent me a song.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_That is the end of another one shot! Hope you enjoyed and let me know what you thought about it. As I write this I know times are tough so please if you need someone to talk to please let me know and I’ll try my best._ **


	7. Changes |DM x J3T|

**_Hey guys, sorry for the lack of updates. Life became hectic and I got mega burn out which I am just getting over so please forgive me._ **

**_Anyways Prison AU Let’s go_ **

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_George’s point of view_ **

“George? Are you coming in or not?” Jorel asks me. I had fallen asleep late this morning and I am currently running late for today’s studio session. “Yeah, I am coming in. Sorry Jay, I had a rough night that is all,” I tell him. To be honest, I have been half dreading going into the studio lately. We are almost done with our first studio record. However, Aron is becoming a proper little diva as of late and it is becoming increasingly harder to work with him at the moment. If he is really in the mood for it then he will make your day worse because he feels like it. No two days in the studio are ever the same and I currently hate it. “No worries George, I was wondering because I am going to have a coffee waiting for you,” he tells me.

“You are a legend Jay,” I tell him. I don’t have any time to make myself a coffee this morning, so I really appreciate him making one for me. Jorel hangs up the phone, so I can get my late ass to the studio and he can make me the best coffee I have ever drank in the whole of Los Angeles. Aron was not there when I got into the studio which is a blessing. The last thing I need this morning is for Aron to berate me for being late again even though he thinks that is perfectly fine for him to show up to the studio whenever he wants to. “Thanks for the coffee Jay,” I tell him when I get in. I don’t know how he makes this so good, but I would literally pay for Jorel to make me coffee twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and twelve months a year.

“You’re welcome George,” he replies. I just enjoy the peace and quiet to fully wake up and enjoy my coffee before the chaos starts. The others knew not to come too close while I was still waking up. I had finished my coffee by the time Aron decided to walk in. It is not the latest that he has ever been, but still later than he should be. We dare not say anything about it though because deep down we know it would just lead to the first of many meltdowns of the day. Considering it is only ten thirty in the morning on a Monday I don’t think anyone in their right minds is ready for that. If he wants to do it then he can do it any time he wants, it just has to be after twelve thirty pm at the earliest. We’d rather it didn’t happen but that wouldn’t be like Aron.

“Oh George, I didn’t know you were here,” Jordon tells me. Aron had gone straight into the bathroom, so he hadn’t heard what Jordon said. “Yeah Jorel brought me a coffee when I got in. I only managed to fall asleep at five am this morning, so I ended up being a little bit late myself,” I explain, whilst keeping my eye out for Aron. He understands, he knows that I have been having a bit of trouble trying to unwind and fall asleep in the night. “That’s fair enough. At least we have Jorel to make the best coffee in the west coast right?” Jordon tells me and I nod. It’s good to know that it is not only me who has that opinion of Jorel’s coffee making skills. He could just be making it from a sachet for all I know but it is the best thing I have had.

“Yeah we do. I would love to know his secrets on how he makes it so fucking good. He could sell it for a lot of money and probably make more than the companies like Starbucks,” I tell Jordon. Jorel could hear us discussing it and out of the corner of my eye I could see him smile and shake his head. To him we must be the weirdest people just talking about how we plan to steal whatever secret recipe he had for making coffee. Although thinking about it some more it was probably just how we make ours with that little bit extra something and if we tried making it ourselves it is not going to taste the same or as good as his does. He also probably is wondering what drugs we have taken to be discussing coffee like this on a Monday morning.

We all decide that the best thing we can do right now is to get on with our work and let Aron do whatever he wants to do for the morning at least. Today we are going to finish up some of our final songs for our debut record Swan Songs. My goal for the day is to at least record everything for Paradise Lost if possible. I know it will be very hit or miss if Aron will record anything today or not, but as long as the management team know that the rest of us have our lyrics all recorded then we have nothing to worry about. Aron will just end up being management’s problem not ours if he chooses to be lazy about it all. We do have most of the songs all recorded, there was just a few little things we have left to finish up before we can release it.

“So, when do you think Aron is going to kick off?” Jordon asks, and I hold back a huge groan. Matt looks as unimpressed at Jordon’s question as I felt inside. Jorel and Dylan looked unimpressed as well. Luckily for us Aron wasn’t listening to our conversation. “I personally hope that he doesn’t kick off, but if he does it will be after lunch because that’s when he starts to get fed up,” Dylan says. It is what we were all thinking, and nobody made a noise to say that they disagree with him. “Dylan is right, we would all rather have a peaceful Monday, but we know that might not be possible with Aron,” Matt says. We are also aware that the close it gets to crunch time on the record the worse Aron’s behavior is going to get and the more stressed we will be.

We managed to make it to 2.30 pm before Aron decided to kick off. The record label decided to come and check on us. They wanted to ask how close we are to finishing all of the songs we want to go on this record. Once they knew about how much Aron had been slacking off lately and they had to tell him off. They want the band to succeed obviously even if they don’t agree with all of our lyrics and the meanings behind them. Aron did not handle being told off very well, it is something we knew would lead to disaster. We all went for a cigarette even if we didn’t want to smoke. We just wanted to do everything we could to not be inside the studio until Aron calms down. I have a sneaking feeling that it will last a lot longer than thirty minutes and we might as well go home.

My feelings were confirmed when a guy from management came out to us and told us that we might as well go home as he knew that no more work was going to be done today at least and we should come back bright and early the next morning. We weren’t about to complain about it, leaving half an hour earlier is better than staying half an hour later or longer because Aron had finally calmed down and they wanted us to try and do more work. I don’t see any more work being done now that Aron has kicked off on the scale that he has done because it would just trigger another hissy fit. That would just set us back to square one and it wasn’t worth it. We had gone to a shop to get some snacks and decided to go back to our own apartments for the night and just try and relax.

There was a letter waiting for me when I got home. I don’t recognize the handwriting on the envelope, but I have a feeling I know where it is from. A couple of months ago I signed up for a letter exchange with inmates from Men’s Central Jail in Los Angeles. They pair inmates up with people on the outside like me to help rehabilitate them. I am not sure how that works exactly, but that doesn’t really inconvenience me in any way. I will still write back to whoever has written to me as long as they want me to regardless of whether or not that will help them get released. The only conditions I have for this is that I don’t get paired with someone who is a rapist or a pedophile I am happy to do this thing. I somehow doubt they would give those guys a chance with that. The chances of receiving death threats amongst other things would make it counterproductive.

I can’t wait to find out more about my new pen pal. I am going to be as open minded with this as possible. Whatever crime they have done does matter, however they have signed up to this as well because they want to change their own lives for the better. They want forgiveness and a second chance in life, and I am not about to deny them that. I haven’t exactly led a crime free life especially as a teen and young adult so I am not about to go telling this man that they shouldn’t have done whatever it is they have done. That would be me not practicing what I am preaching. I hate the police with a burning passion for how they treat the young people and the black people, leaving them to fend for themselves in the cruel world that has been created.

_Daniel Murillo – 06A76K058FF_

_Men’s Central Jail_

_Los Angeles_

_California_

_May 4 th, 2008_

_Dear George,_

_My name is Daniel Rose Murillo, although most people call me Danny. I am 22 years old and I turn 23 on the 21 st of November. I don’t really have a favorite color and I have lived in Los Angeles since the day I was born. I am by no means a perfect person, but I am trying my best to change. I really want to become a better person, someone that people could be proud of instead of ashamed. I am not sure what else to say about myself really apart from I have a couple of hobbies. I really enjoy art and I really enjoy music. I have been using art as an escape from this place. It’s easy enough to lose track of time in here and I often spend most of my day drawing. How about you? What favorites do you have? You don’t have to answer these questions if you do not want to._

_Apologies in advance if I start rambling at any point. This whole writing letters to strangers thing is making me a little nervous honestly. I am in a place where I am surrounded by people who have committed crimes just like me. At some point you will want to know why I am in here, which crimes I have committed. I am not ready for that, although I can safely and confidently say that I am not a pedophile or a rapist. I have not even told my family the whole truth. I am not an idol; I am just a gangster. I have done a lot of things that I am not proud of. I guess that is one good reason why I want to change for the best. I have spent a lot of my time in here reflecting on why I am here and what I have done. I have decided I don’t want to live that lifestyle anymore. It is not worth the pain it causes._

_I will be honest with you. I will still have a lot of respect for you even if you read this whole letter and decide that you do not want to do this anymore. I should not be writing so negatively in the first letter, but honestly I am not sure what I am doing. I have only writing to my family before now and they are quite short little updates. They always say that honesty is the best policy right? Well I will keep being as honest as possible. I don’t really have a high level of self-esteem at the moment. Or self-confidence for that matter either. I guess that destroys the stereotype that everybody who ever ends up in jail are hard criminals who don’t really give a crap what anyone else thinks of them. I can honestly say that stereotype only applies to a select few in here who are here for life._

_Being in a cell by yourself for twenty-three hours a day is a real mental health killer. I guess that serves me right for breaking the law to begin with. That one hour a day we get to go outside of our cell does not feel like enough. At least I get plenty of time to reflect on my life choices. I have a few months left of my sentence and then I hope to God that I will never see the same four cell walls again for as long as I live. Some of the officers say there isn’t much hope for me because I have been in and out of jail so much. It all started when I was about fourteen years old and spiraled down from there. I am hoping to not have the achievement of being in and out jail for ten years straight. That is definitely not something to brag about or be proud of. This is something I am going to avoid._

_I became homeless at 17 years old. I had very little time to adjust and to become street wise. Especially because I was still going to high school during the day. I did it thought, it took me about two weeks. I took advantage of the showers in the boys changing rooms and any food I could get my hands on. The weirdest thing about that whole ordeal was that I was never afraid not even on my first night. I don’t know whether or not that is a good thing to not be afraid. It helped me survive though. I have lived in Los Angeles for long enough to know what dangers are out there on the streets. You’ve got a huge drug problem, alcoholics roaming around not caring what happens, then you have the gang wars over the tiniest bit of territory, and they don’t give a crap who is in the crossfire._

_It also kind of led me to the life of crime. Certain gangs know that there are a lot of teens out on the streets and they will one hundred percent take advantage of that. The cops know a little bit, which is why I am not afraid to put this in the letter because I know they will read this before it goes out to you. The gangs are good though, if they don’t want to give up their secrets then they are not going to. When you are young and have no one else to turn to then you are going to leap at any opportunity to get even the tiniest bit of security. I don’t think I would still be alive today if it were not for the gang recruiter who found me the first winter that I was out there. I know that to most people Los Angeles winter is not that cold, and it doesn’t snow very often but I had nothing._

_I didn’t have a coat back then; I still don’t know. It never used to bother me and that is something that still doesn’t bother me now. However, when you are only seventeen and you are outside in the rain when the temperature drops from about 60F to 47F it gets very cold. You would beg, borrow, or even steal to get out of that. It’s why so many of the other teens I knew weren’t so upset to be in prison over the winter months. At least then you’d have 3 decent meals every day guaranteed, clean and warm clothing and a bed to sleep in every night without fear of waking up soaked because it had rained sometime between the hours of three and four o’clock in the morning. You could even go to lessons in the jail without people looking at you funny because you were different._

_I used to think that I never belonged anywhere, never fit in with anyone and that changed when I entered the criminal world. I do regret that now though; I don’t need crime for people to accept me for who I am. When I get out of jail in a few months’ time I am going to prove to everyone that I am not letting my past define me and I am going to be a better man. I am going to leave these gates and never come back. I will do whatever it takes to make it through the rest of my young adulthood without ending up in jail again. I bet a lot has changed about LA since I went into jail a few years ago. Then again knowing what I know about Los Angeles is not a lot will have changed in a short amount of time. I have been in this jail since I turned 18 but I was in a juvenile place before then._

_I have many stories to tell about my time in the juvenile detention center. Probably a lot more than I have of this jail I have spent the last four years in if I am being honest. When I was a young boy I didn’t really care about what I did. Nobody really cared about me and if I was destined for great things or not. As long as I was somewhere where I was mostly out of trouble then they felt that it was fine to forgot about me and let me get lost in the fucked up system which is the juvenile detention system. So many kids have gone through and ended up worse of than they were when they arrived. I remember this one kid who was wrongly accused of committing a crim get failed by the system so much that he decided in the end that crime was the only thing left for him._

_Enough about me now though. I would really like to get to know you. That is if you still want to go through with this after reading the mess that has been this letter. I apologize again for rambling and I do not blame you one bit if you change your mind. Writing to a convicted criminal like me is not to everyone’s taste. Someone told me that he doesn’t believe real people sign up for this. Who in their right mind would go about living their lives and then write to someone who has broken the law? I believe there are people out there like you who want to talk to people like me. That guy is just jealous because he was denied entrance to the program. I can’t exactly remember what the requirements are myself, but I remember there wasn’t that many. I think it was good behavior and something else._

_Thanks for reading (if you made it this far)_

_Danny_

I can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for this Danny guy. It is clear from how he has tried to organize all that he wanted to tell me in this letter that he needs someone to talk to. I probably shouldn’t feel sorry for him at all because he is in jail for a reason, he did break the law after all. It has got to be hard on your mental health to be locked away for 23 hours of the day. Obviously, you are not awake for all 23 of those hours but for those hours you are awake it must be torture. I am going to reply to him though. He sounds incredibly nervous, something which will ease over time as we get to know each other better. I bet the more I get to know him I will find the nice guy that is inside of him. I go to get my notebook so I can start writing my response. At least he has clarified that he is not THAT bad.

It was a huge relief to me to know that he has not committed the two of the worst crimes know to man. I read the letter again just to see if I can figure out for myself what he has done to spend the last four years in an adult jail. Obviously, he has mentioned gang crimes being behind why he has been in and out of jail for the last 8 years. However different gangs prefer to do different things as a way of leaving their mark on the world and I fortunately or unfortunately don’t know enough about them to know which gang he was in. It is good to know that he doesn’t want to live that lifestyle anymore. It proves to me my theory that inside everyone who is incarcerated in jail is not one hundred percent bad. There is one good thing inside of them.

I am naturally curious to know what he has done. Although I know not to push him to tell me if he doesn’t want to. If he opens up to me about his crimes, I want it to come naturally. I am not going to judge his personality based on what he did. I am not exactly one hundred percent perfect either, I have been in Danny’s shoes. I have been to jail before, but not for as long as Danny has. I am not going to preach that he should not have done what he has done, because I haven’t done that. It seems like he is stuck in a cycle of doing bad things and going to jail and then being released from jail and then a short time later going back in because he has been caught doing something he should not be doing. That seems to be how it goes for him.

If that is true then he is going to need something or someone to break that cycle. Maybe that is what they sign up to the letter exchange for. To finally meet someone who could be able to break that cycle they are stuck in. I guess I will have to wait and see. He said in his letter that he has an interest in music, so maybe I can use that as leverage to break the ice a little bit. He was so brief about himself and I would love to know more. For instance, he hasn’t even mentioned what his favorite food is or what kinda of animal he likes. I can write to him about Hollywood Undead to see if that is the kind of music he likes or maybe he likes something else. I don’t know how I can talk to him about art though, I am not really much of an artist.

I suppose I can always ask about what art he does and let him just teach me everything he knows about it. I don’t even know if I am allowed to send him anything. I would probably send him some sketchbook paper or other good quality paper to let him draw. That would probably help distract him and take his mind off somethings which might be bothering him. After doing a little bit of research on the internet and other sources I am no closer to finding an answer to that. I did know before Danny told me that the guards to read the letters first, so I can always put some paper in and write a note explaining the situation. That way it will be seen by the people who have the answers I need. The worst that can happen is we get told no and the paper is confiscated from us.

I finish writing my letter before all the shops shut for the night. Which is a good thing considering that I only just remembered that I have given Dylan all the sketch paper I had because I wasn’t using it at the time. It never occurred to me to keep it for any reason. It doesn’t really matter though because I can actually just by some on the way to the post office then add it to the envelope before I send it off. That way I will only have to leave the house once as well. After the day I have had with all of the studio stress all I want to do is relax and maybe watch some television. We are so close to the finish line on this record and I need all my mental strength to get through the final few recording days. I will definitely need a break when it is all done.

If I am going to follow Danny’s advice that honesty is the best policy then I bet that he would be a lot easier to deal with even in person than Aron is. Then again having said that I think that anyone would be easier to deal with then Aron in his diva moods. I am still trying to work out why we are still putting up with all the bullshit. I guess that with our first record not being out yet and the fact that we don’t really have any evidence of him doing anything wrong we can’t kick him out. It would be whoever is brave enough to speak up’s word against his and personally I don’t think that will end well at all. There is also the minor fact that some of the guys are too afraid to say or do anything right now because Aron will create a lot more problems.

For example, if we kick Aron out too son then he can ruin the bands reputation before we even have a chance to put our foot in the door of the music industry. We would fall and crumble before we even had that chance to say this is who we are and what we do. The safest thing I can thing of doing right now is waiting for the right opportunity to strike. It will mean putting up with the increasingly worse behavior for many more months to come, but it will be worth it in the end. That’s what I am currently discussing with Jorel on the phone while I am on the way to the post office. He feels the same way I do about the shitty situation we are finding ourselves in. “One day we are gonna be able to look him in the eyes and say we are doing bending over backwards for you and it will be the best feeling ever,” Jorel tells me.

“Definitely and if we do it at the right time we can pick right back up without missing a beat,” I tell him. I don’t think now is the right time to start discussing the finer details of what we would do when Aron is eventually given the kick up the backside. There are so many possibilities of things that could happen between now and then. “What are you doing anyways? I thought you were staying in tonight?” Jorel asks. He is right, I did say I was staying at home and not going out anywhere. That was before the letter arrived though, and he doesn’t know I signed up to the letter exchange and I am not about to tell him. “Got some errands to run I forgot about. Was also planning on getting Taco Bell for dinner because honestly I have no energy to cook,” I tell him.

It is not that I am ashamed of writing to Danny because I am not. I just don’t want any more drama starting because to be honest Jorel is not always the best at keeping his mouth shut and for some stupid reason Aron hates us having a life outside of the band. “That’s fair enough. You tend to forget stuff when you spend six to eight hours pandering to the diva king,” Jorel tells me, and I almost spit my coffee out on my dashboard. I didn’t, I kinda half chocked on it though which made Jorel confused. “Next time you say something funny please let me finish my mouthful of coffee first,” I tell him once I had managed to recover a little bit. To be fair though I don’t think he was aware that I had taken a coffee with me. I would have taken a beer, but I don’t fancy my chances of being pulled over and then ending up in jail myself.

Then I wouldn’t be able to talk to Danny. If you are only out of your cell for one hour a day then you’re in one of those higher security units, not general population like I would be. If he said he was out of a gang then they would put him in one for his own protection. Too often a former gang member will straight up be murdered by the gang they used to be in because they are worried all their secrets will be revealed. The police use as much information that a former gang member gives to help take them down. “Of course, George, I honestly thought you would have had a beer by now. Aron has been the worst I have seen him for a while,” Jorel tells me. Last week was definitely not as bad as the beginning of this week in terms of behavior.

“I was thinking about it, but I would have more than one beer and I would rather not end up in a jail cell tonight. I don’t think diva king would be happy with it either,” I tell him. I was just being honest. He doesn’t really care about how we feel when it happens to him, but should it dare happen to one of us and it makes us late or cancel a studio day then it is the end of the world. It is honestly very stupid but that’s just who we are dealing with. “That makes sense George. I don’t think any of us would be allowed a day off until all the songs are done even though Aron would probably be as late as he wants and if he couldn’t be bothered coming in then he’d just take the day off,” he replies. I drop the letter off at the post office, telling Jorel he had to be on mute for a minute.

He was fine with that because I didn’t feel comfortable being that guy on the phone while I drop off a letter. Especially when if they decide to ask questions as to why I am sending a letter to someone in the jail. I was on the phone with Jorel all the way to the Taco Bell trying to talk about anything other than the ongoing band issues. Instead I managed to turn the conversation into dinner and what I was going to have as my decision to go to Taco Bell was kind of spontaneous and I hadn’t decided what I wanted before getting to the drive thru. I said goodbye to him when I had gotten my food order because I was going to be seeing him in the morning anyways so it’s not like he is going to have to wait too much longer before speaking to me.

The rest of the evening was pretty boring to be honest. Dinner was pretty good, and I got to watch some television. I was going to read, but I need to be in the right mood for it. Today I am not in that mood because I was a bit stressed out. Usually I use reading as a way to escape, find a good book and get lost in the world that the writer has created and forget about my own problems for a little while. However, I am too angry thinking that this week is just going to become worse as the days go on. Aron just can’t help himself if he has already gotten himself into trouble once this week then it is going to happen all over again. Management are going to be on his ass until he changes his behavior, and we all know that won’t happen.

I put the band drama out of my mind so I can try and enjoy the rest of my evening in peace. The only thing I can think of is that tomorrow is a brand new day, and it may be even better than today has been. I do not possess the gift of vision. I can’t predict the future; I could say that Aron will be an absolute asshole from the moment he walks in, to the moment he leaves. That is one possibility, but we will have to see in the morning, he could be really nice, and it will be a better day. I guess this television show is really boring if my mind is drifting back to the one thing that I keep telling myself that I should not be thinking about the shit that is bothering me. I could start thinking about the beginnings of my friendship with Danny and how amazing it is going to be.

I think it is going to be the best thing that ever happened to me to have Danny in my life. Yeah we have not actually met each other yet but I want to. I really want to; I want to see the person I have no clear image of. I reread the letter again to try and picture what Danny would look like in my head. He has got to have tattoos and plenty of them. I picture for some reason of him having the brightest blonde hair which is clearly dyed from brown as he has the most stunning brown eyes I have ever seen. It is probably because I have seen him on a wanted poster before or something. I am not falling in love with him though, I don’t even know the guy much. You can like the guy without saying that you are in love with him, he’s probably handsome.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_3 weeks later – Danny Murillo’s point of view –_ **

Everything is finally falling into place. Everything is finally feeling like it is going to be okay for me. George Ragan is the nicest man I have ever met. I finally have something to look forward to every day. I think I get released from jail in a few months’ time. I don’t know when that day will be yet, I have been told but I forgot about it because otherwise I would spend all night looking at my calendar counting the days. George told me that I am going to be staying with him whenever release day happens when I am finally free. We have only just started dating in the last week or so. Didn’t think I would be writing _yes I will be your boyfriend_ in a letter until I met George. He told me I could move in with him to at least have some stability in my life.

I was a little worried about that being too soon but thinking about it further and properly I know that we will have been dating for a few months by then. Everything is going to be just fine. I need to stop letting my anxiety getting to me and making me feel down. I am just getting my life back together and finally breaking the cycle inside myself which is why I am here time and time again. George is visiting me today and I am going to have a good day. I am still writing letters to George as he has reignited my passion for art. He keeps sending me sketch paper and I keep sending him drawings of him and of me and whatever he wants me to draw. It keeps me busy when the days feel like they will last forever because I have nothing else to do with my time.

I am kept in the cell for my own protection, protective custody they call it. Though I am not sure why they call it that. It is not as if they are protecting my mental health or sanity keeping me here. “Morning Danny, what has got you so happy?” Bob asks me. I just finished eating my breakfast and I was waiting for them to call me to go to the visiting room. Bob has been here since before I arrived here from juvie and he has been my mentor since day one. “Maybe I just don’t want my depression to rule my day,” I tell him. I was telling the truth; depression is NOT going to rule my life and have control. “Good for you kiddo. You are still so young and have everything to live for,” he tells me. He is going to be here for the rest of his life. He doesn’t want the same for me. He always says when I leave here that I won’t come back.

I am curious to see what my own future holds to see how much better I can make it if I just make the right choices. I can’t go back to who I used to be, and I certainly can’t let George down. George wants to help me make a better life for myself and I have to do everything in my power to make sure that I follow what he tells me. There will be a lot of temptations everywhere I go, and the hardest part will to not give into them. I am NOT in the gang anymore and I am not going to go back to the lifestyle. Even the officers have been saying that they don’t want to see me back in the cell when I leave here. That is a lot different from the last time so I must have changed at least a little bit. They used to have bets on when they would see me back.

The most people have bet on is $100 that I would be back in two weeks. Well, they are going to waste that money because I haven’t left yet and when I leave those gates I will be saying a big fuck you to everyone who has ever doubted me when my freedom goes from days to weeks to months to years to the rest of my life. There will be quite a few unhappy officers once I leave. They were so insistent on the fact that there was no change to be found in me. That was before I decided to leave the gang that had ruined my life. That was the one thing that they can’t take away from me. They have started joking about the fact they used to thing I would definitely be coming back to the jail once I was released in a few months’ time.

It was always said in a nice way. There was never any malice behind their words. “Yeah I have a visitor today Bob,” I tell him. It was something that he already knew about since he was the one who told me all about the letter scheme. “George again? He has been a really good influence on you,” he tells me. I am happy that Bob is supportive of me. I am also that I have someone I can talk to about some of my feelings. “Yeah I can’t wait to see him again,” I tell him. I am so glad I have someone who a friend and also a good influence on me. It has been a thing which has been long overdue in my life up until now. Long may it continue. Bob smiles with approval and leaves me to wait for visiting time to arrive. I hope I don’t stare at a clock for the whole time.

It is visiting time and I am buzzing with excitement. One of the officers comments on my happiness and the bubbly personality they are seeing from me and how proud he is of my change in both mood and behavior. “I finally found what I have been needing in my life,” I tell him. All I needed was George to write to me and my life is set. The officer smiles as we arrive at the visiting room. I am a little disappointed that I am not allowed to hug George as the protective custody status doesn’t grant that, but that day will come soon enough. “Hey Danny,” George says, after we both sit down and pick up the little phones we’ll be talking through. I have butterflies in my stomach seeing him in person for the first time since we became boyfriends. “Hey George,” I reply. I can’t believe that I have missed him so much.

“How have you been?” George asks, we only sent letters to each other three days ago and a lot could have changed. I pinch myself under the desk. I can’t believe that after everything that I have told him that he still wants to be with me, and he was the one who asked me to become his boyfriend. “I have been okay thanks. What about you?” hi ask him. He grins and I notice that he has one of my drawings with him. I think that one was the first one that I had ever drew for him. “I have been good thanks. Hey, I was wondering if I could make a photocopy of this for my friend Dylan. I showed him at work, and he loves it,” George tells me. I can’t believe George likes my artwork, let alone someone who doesn’t know me or my past. It’s amazing.

From what George has said Dylan is the youngest in their band and even though there can be quite the age gap he is quite mature. Dylan is also an artist like me. George admitted that he had given Dylan some sketch paper he had been keeping in his apartment because he thought that he would never find a use for it and then he remembered it when I had sent that first god awful cringe worthy letter. Why anyone let me use the pen, write that piece of junk, and then send it to George I don’t know. However, I am glad I never got rid of it because it has led to this amazing friendship/relationship I am in now. I probably should not have been so negative though. I just didn’t believe that it was going to lead to anything and that I was going to be let down again.

One of my brothers promised that he would write to me every week. He told me that he didn’t believe what our father had said about me and he still wanted to keep in touch, for me to send him artwork to prove to everyone I was going to be good. I guess father had something to do with it or maybe he did see the real me, not the brave face overly positive big brother who said he didn’t do anything wrong. It was when he stopped writing that I fell out of love with art. I didn’t think it was useful to do considering I would be the only one to see it and I know that I am my own worst critic. I would get angry and throw away my art when it was halfway done because I didn’t think it was good enough. I wasn’t good enough for anyone.

I still don’t think that I am good enough, but I am slowly learning to love myself just a little bit. George is still expecting my decision on the drawing. I look at it again, it is definitely my first one that I had drawn in over a year, so it is not my best work. However, it is not my worst work ever either, so I don’t see any problem in letting Dylan have a photocopy of it. I don’t think that Dylan is going to be the type of guy to go around photocopying his photocopy and say that it is his work when it is clearly mine. The quality of my sketch will only get worse with every photocopy made. I don’t even know how well it is going to photocopy anyway. I have very high quality paper thanks to George, but I can’t have any decent pencils.

“Of course you can. I can even send Dylan stuff through you if he wants. That’s if he even wants some original sketches of mine,” I tell him, trying my best to not stumble over my words. I could tell that George was holding back a chuckle, he thinks my nervous behavior is cute. “Well, I am sure Dylan would love a drawing. I can pass them on,” George tells me. I can’t wait to get drawing again and I can send them on to George as soon as possible to pass on to Dylan. I suddenly get an idea of what I can draw today when I am back in my cell. “What does Dylan look like?” I ask George, the plan already forming in my head. I can do a portrait of him. I have done one of George already. George is allowed to show me a picture on his phone.

“In my next letter I will send some photos of the band if you would like,” George tells me. He has told me a lot about the band as we both share that music interest. He has also told me all of the drama that is going on with their first record too. “That would be awesome. If anyone else would like me to draw them then just let me know in the letter,” I tell him. He does know though that I don’t want anyone to feel as if they are being forced into receiving a portrait for me. A very kind officer did something unusual and gave me a piece of paper and a pencil so I can draw a quick sketch of the photo George is showing me. I will spend more time on it when I get back to my cell, it is not like I have anything better to do and it will come out looking amazing. “I will do Danny, you are an amazing artist, and I am sure they will love it,” George says.

“Thank you George,” I tell him. I don’t think that I have ever been compliment as much as I have been since I have met George. Yeah, I guess I have been praised by the people who I was working for and the other gang members when I have done what they have asked. However, it was not with any real emotion behind it. They wanted me to keep my mouth shut and for me to keep working for them, to stay in the gang to do whatever they wanted. It also meant that they were all too eager to throw me under the bus whenever it suited them the most. It is was how I ended up in jail this time. They needed someone as a scapegoat, and I was in the right place at the right time. I am no longer angered by it though, I needed this as a chance to leave.

It wasn’t a murder or anything like that. For some strange reason, they have decided that some of the higher ups deserve the credit for killing one of the rival gang members no matter how long they end up in jail for. It gives them another chance of recruiting the young, gullible, and afraid into the gang life. My crime that I was stupid enough to take the credit/blame for was a robbery of a jewelry store at gun point. It’s one of the lower crimes you can be done for, but I was glad out of all of the ones they made me chose it was that one. Even with my repeat history the sentence wasn’t too bad. It has granted me the opportunity to finally leave gang life, so I am proud of myself. Change is hard especially when old habits die hard.

George has a big smile on his face. I went off into a little bit of a dream land and decided that I wanted to get a little bit more detail on this drawing. To make sure I have the best image of Dylan I can for when I go back to my own cell. George had put his phone away but showed me the same image of Dylan to make sure that I had all of the details that I need. It was quite claustrophobic being in this little visiting room, but it is worth it to make sure that I get that little bit of a change of scenery from the little cell I have been spending the last few years in. It’s not too bad being there, less people to distract you and less fights than I saw in the general population unit. The new kids always think they are tougher than the older more experienced prisoners.

“You’re welcome my love,” George tells me, and I blush. It is the first time that he has ever called me that. I like that nickname as is it something that as real meaning behind it. Something which has never happened to me before. “Sorry Danny, I should have asked you first. I know that we haven’t been together very long,” he tells me. I am still trying to process all of this. I hadn’t said anything for about a minute or so. “It’s fine George. I actually really love it. I just have never been called that before and I don’t think it is too soon,” I tell him. I was being honest with him. This is all brand new to me and I don’t know how I should be reacting. I don’t think I have ever been in love before. I had been in relationships before, but they were never serious relationships.

“Well, as long as you are happy then I will keep on calling you that my love,” George tells me. The warm fuzzy feeling I get inside when he calls me that is unlike anything I have ever felt before. “I feel like I need to come up with a similar nickname for you George,” I tell George, feeling a little bit of pressure but my brain hasn’t come up with anything good yet. George smiles at me again and I think I heard a little laugh. “Don’t worry about coming up with one right away. Let it come to you naturally, we will have plenty of time together,” he says. I like the thought of that, the thought of our relationship lasting for a long while. It makes a lot of sense that it will come naturally to me as well. We’ve not been dating that long and I have no idea what nicknames would be acceptable. I haven’t had nicknames for any of my other partners that I can remember.

“Okay, I will let it happen naturally,” I tell him. We get the dreaded 10 minute warning for the end of visiting time. I don’t want this to end, I don’t want George to leave me again. I enjoy all the feelings that I get when I am around him. I enjoy how much happier I am when I am with him. “Keep your chin up my love. You will be out of here soon enough and we will have all day every day to spend together,” he tells me. That has been the one thing that has kept me going these last three weeks. It will be the main thing that is going to keep me going through the next few months of my sentence. George puts his hand on the glass, and I put my hand on my side of the glass. My hand is a little bit smaller than his and definitely way less tattooed.

We can’t have face to face contact until my release day. It is mainly because of my security level and I am not going to complain about it. I don’t want my first kiss with George to be inside of a jail visiting room. At least I get to see George face to face even if we are behind some glass. It is better than just a phone call because I can see him. I can’t wait until the day I get to walk out of here with my head held high and I am not going to look back. I am not going to look back because I am not coming back. This is the LAST time I am going to be here. George and I just talk about the band while we wait for the ten minutes to be up even though we don’t like this. We don’t like the fact that it has to end so soon. I would rather have two hours.

George was reassuring me a lot when they gave us a two minute warning. My mental health has been doing really well but always dips straight after George visits. I get upset because I want to get out of here and I want to see George more often than the few times a month. I didn’t realize how rough it was going to be when the officers made the decision to put me into protective custody when I had told them that I had wanted to leave the gang. I had been in general population for a couple months then got put in the hole for a fight when I made the decision to tell them about the gang I was in as much as I knew and that I wanted to leave. At least I knew that in general population for those two months I did generally fit in.

The fight was over something stupid, it was a rival gang thinking that they could take me out easy because in their eyes I was fresh meat, and I was easy prey. They didn’t know that I was actually trained in self-defense by some of the older members of the gang who were prison veterans and being in juvie for most of my teen years means I was well adapted to jail life by the time I took the fall. We have classes in the gang where we learn about the prison system and what to do and what not to do so we look like the model prisoner the duration of our stay and we are experts at hiding our true intentions from the officers who think they have the ultimate control. That was the way things went when I was back in the gang life. It is probably still how things are going now. Things never change in a jail no matter how much the officers hate it.

I try to hold back my weakness as I walk back to my cell. People are always watching your every move, waiting for the right opportunity to strike you right where it hurts the most. They might not be able to touch you, but they can shout and scream at you as much as you want. I can feel their eyes on me watching to see if I crumble under the pressure. I manage to keep it all together even long after I entered my cell and sat down on the bunk. I don’t know why, but I feel as if I have to be strong for George’s sake. He is a big guy, way easily a head higher than I am, and he is more than capable of handling himself. He knows what he is doing. He can also defend himself pretty well too. He doesn’t need anything from me. I guess I am the one who needs that support myself.

I write my next letter to George which is going to include a note to Dylan to go along nicely with the portrait that I am doing for him. I just feel like I need to thank him for his support even though he doesn’t know the man behind the artwork. It means so much to me that someone else likes my artwork and I can use the confidence to keep going. After I finish my letter I move onto the drawing, using the drawing that I had quickly made during the visit as my reference for the new and improved version I would be sending him. I don’t really know how I will find out about Dylan’s opinion on my work. Maybe George can tell me when I phone him after I send the art off and he receives it. We have a little schedule going which makes my weeks go by a little easier. That is the only way I can think of getting feedback since visiting isn’t going to happen for a while.

I try to hold back the tears again. All the new emotions that keep on bubbling up inside of me are hard to deal with. I am not even sure that I am dealing with them in a healthy way or not. Since I have no one to really talk to about this. Bob is a really great friend and mentor to me, but he is quite set in his ways and those ways are quite outdated by today’s standards. For example, he does not really believe that men should be together in a romantic way. He thinks that it is evil and wrong and against everything that he stands for. He doesn’t mind us being friends with other guys, you don’t see any women apart from female guards in this prison, so we have no other alternative. For some people it is a very lonely life, and they want the relationships that they had on the outside.

I say Bob’s views are quite outdated because they are. He is a 60 – 70 year old man who is one of the strictest Christians I know. He’s always so kind and gentle with everyone even though that is probably not the tactic that most inmates go for here. I think even the hardest of criminals see Bob as the cute little old man who is like the grandad of whatever unit he is on. He’s here for life and the officers are taking somewhat of an unusual approach with his status. It’s too their advantage of course but none of us are complaining about it. It’s the one time that we will let them use an inmate get us out of jail by trying to teach us how to be good men and to change their lives before it is too late. It might not work for everyone, but for those that it does work then it is the best thing in the world.

I don’t know how it managed to happen that Christians think that Gay men are disgusting and wrong when there is nothing in the bible that says that gay people can’t be together, but I try not to make a fuss out of it. It is hard enough being straight in a prison, let alone label yourself as gay, or bi. You are an even easier target than someone who is classed as fresh meat. There are some real nasty people who are so obsessed with sex that they will do anything to get it and I mean ANYTHING to get that. Rapists already don’t care about their victims on the outside, so they are not going to care if they make some inmates victims. It might be cruel but that is how their minds work and how cruel they are as “people” in the world.

Bob doesn’t know that George and I are dating. All he knows is that we have become really close friends over the last three or four weeks and nothing else. It is awful that I keep having to hide my true emotions all the time even around George. You would think that because I have already opened up to him so much already that I can just talk to him about anything right? Well, not exactly. The first thing I have to deal with is that the cops are going to read every word that I send to George and could use that against me if they see any issue with it. There would never be anything that they could use against me, but I am not taking that risk. The second thing I have to deal with is the inmates themselves. Even in protective custody I deal with them.

It sorta ties in with what I think the cops would do so far as they would use anything that they perceive as a weapon of weakness against me. The only different is that the inmates will do it because they get a sadistic kick out of it. They enjoy seeing you squirm and crack under the pressure they put on you and that turns into a lifetime of bulling. The final thing I have to deal with is my own brain, and all of the self-doubt that comes with it. I am still waiting for the moment where George has had enough of me and that he is going to tell me that everything is over. I know that it is all going to end eventually. There just seems to be a pattern of people slowly leaving my life and when they finally walk away they tend to leave for good then.

They all blame themselves when they say that our friendship is over, but it is all lies they think they are doing me a favor by telling me that. They are also too afraid to tell me that I am the real reason that they don’t want me around. I would not do anything to them because I know that I am not a good person or a friend to be around. I ruin everything and no one can tell me otherwise. Well they can tell me otherwise as much they want but that doesn’t mean I am going to listen to them. If anyone does think otherwise then they are lying to themselves. Either that or they actually don’t know me all that well or like they think they do. I have to stop letting the bad thoughts get to me again, this is not going to end well for me if this keeps happening.

Some of the other inmates were not kidding when they told me that your mental health takes a battering when you are here. They warn you that you will go crazy when you get put in the hole and spend those twenty three hours a day. They also say that suicide rates are triple that in jail then when they are in prison and the first few days of a new inmates life in the jail are the make or break for them. They will often put new inmates under suicide watch where they get a special outfit they can’t break into pieces to use to hurt themselves or worse attempt to kill themselves. They are at the worst mentally and there is not a whole lot the prison can do other than put them on watch and try and keep them as safe as possible. They aren’t really trained to deal with mental health issues like a psychiatric unit.

When I first left the gang I was lost and didn’t know what to do with myself. I had been in the 70ft square cell with no idea what was next for me. I had no idea that there was a life outside of the cell and outside of the gang life. I felt suicidal and got my mental health evaluated by the nurse, I got put into suicide watch before I got the chance to do something I would regret. They have diagnosed me with anxiety and moderate depression since I have been here which honestly was not something that surprised me. I was going to be diagnosed with anxiety before I ended up in jail again. It takes a lot longer to be diagnosed on the outside than on the inside which is not right really. Someone shouldn’t have to commit a crime to have their voices heard.

I was not really in the mood for eating dinner but with my mental health history I had to show an officer that I at least ate a little bit. If they don’t think that I am eating then they are going to send me to the mental health unit which could then push back my release date just that little bit further if they wanted more time to monitor me and to make sure that I am okay. I don’t know if I want to end up on the psych floor again. I always considered my mental health to be on the milder side of the scale of inmates with mental health issues in this jail. Some of the people make you wonder why they are even in here to begin with. I am pretty sure that they would have a better time if they were in a proper mental health facility than in here.

I told myself this morning that I was NOT going to let my anxiety get me down like it usually does. Yet here I am at 5.30 pm letting my anxiety get the better of me. Bob is usually with me here, but he has been busy using his advantage to talk to a new arrival who has already ended up in the hole which is fine by me. I was in the fresh meats shoes when I was 18 and was told that I was now too old for juvie. I got a massive shock when I arrived here. It’s definitely not little kids jail around here. Bob was the one who helped me find my feet. The rules are different for helpers like Bob, he is in here for life, so they created a role for him to help him keep busy at the same time as helping control the inmates and I think attempt reduce the suicide rates here.

“Hey Dan, how did the visit with George go today?” he asks me. I know that I wasn’t going to meet fresh meat today. I jumped because I was focused on making a romantic drawing of George and I as a last minute addition to the letter. Bob won’t make fun of me for that and the drawing is hidden for now. “Oh hey Bob. The visit went really well. How is the fresh meat settling in?” I ask him, and he sighs. I can tell he has quite the story to tell me. It is interesting to have him have a conversation through the “letter box” of the cell door. He is allowed in the room with me if he needs to, but we didn’t ask. I sit on the stool by the door. “To be honest with you Dan, not that great so far,” he tells me. I can’t wait to hear how this has gone down so far.

“He’s a former juvie kid like you, but unlike you he is a very cocky and arrogant little shit. This kid is not going to last long in here with that attitude unless he enjoys the hole for the duration of his stay,” Bob tells me. You know it is serious when Bob uses words like shit. In terms of swears it is not that big and it is a minor word however Bob being as strict of a Christian as he is then he never uses words like that. He goes into more detail about what this guy has said and done since we have gotten up this morning and doing stuff. As we talk we hear that the kid is starting to shout from his cell across to another inmate to attempt to start some trouble. Steve is the person who he is trying to aggravate, and we all know that is not going to go down well. Steve is well known for being the undefeatable one in fights and has caused a lot of trouble.

“Seems like this kid has a death wish or something,” I tell Bob. This kid is lucky that he has the safety and security of being behind the cell door wall. It doesn’t take much to rile Steve up when he is in a mood and typically when he is in the hole his mood and patience with people is a lot lower than it usually would be. He especially hates being talked to or shouted at by new kids. He has his little circle that he deals with and he doesn’t want anything to do with people outside of that circle. The most Steve will say to us is high when he is in the mood too and that is not guaranteed every day. We know to leave him to it, and it will go a lot smoother for us if we do. You don’t know people until you have experienced how they have been in the hole.

We try not to laugh as this new kid is just getting himself into deeper and deeper trouble. No matter how hard Steve was being pushed he was not one for budging and he was doing really well considering this kid was really pushing his luck. Even the officer dealing with the incident was impressed by the fact that Steve was keeping so calm and composed. That is going to work in Steve’s favor later down the line when they consider letting him out of the hole. I am hoping for Steve’s sake that he gets out of the hole before I leave here when my sentence is finally over and done with. Eventually it all calms down and we can go about the rest of our evenings in as much peace as a man can get in the hole when people are angry about being in here.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_4 months later – Danny’s point of view –_ **

Today is the day I never thought would happen. It is the day that I am finally going to be released and I am making sure that it is the last time I am being released from prison. This is the last morning I am going to be here for the rest of my life. I am determined to be a good person from now on. “I’m so proud of you Danny. You’ve come a long way from that young man I met all those years ago,” Bob says. I have had my breakfast and I am packing my stuff in the bag that is going to be left here and packing some other stuff I might want to take with me. “Thanks Bob. I don’t think I would be the man I am now if it weren’t for you,” I tell him, being 100% honest with him. He was one of the ones who opened my eyes to the fact that I needed to change, and it needed to happen quickly.

He has been the only one who has supported me from the start, and he deserves to know how much it is appreciated especially by me. “You’re very welcome. I will be in here for the rest of my life, so if I can help at least one person and stop them from making the same mistake I did then I am happy. Also you need to give yourself some credit, after all you made the changes you needed to as well,” he tells me. That is fair enough and I feel like it is something that I want to do in return. Like he said, if I can make a difference to one person’s life and stop them from going down the same bad road then a life goal is complete. This life of doing crime and then doing time and then it repeating over and over again is not worth it honestly. If they wanted me to do a scared straight program later on down the road then I would totally do it without hesitating.

“Yeah I hope one day I can convince someone else to not go down the same route I did,” I tell him. Bob smiles at me. It didn’t take me long before I felt like I am all packed since there is not a lot I want to take with me. Just all of the letters George has ever sent me and all of the photos he has sent too. Some of my original drawings can be given to Bob so he has something to remember me by at least. “I think you will do just fine my boy, if anyone can change lives and make a difference it is you,” Bob tells me. I hope for his sake he is right. I want to make a difference to someone’s life I really want to. Maybe I can use my passion for art or for music to help the kids like me. The kids who had no one to listen to them when they needed them most.

As it draws closer to the time that I can finally leave I start feeling a new mixture of emotions. I am going to miss Bob when I leave. He has been the most helpful person in here other than the officers and staff who work here. I know his inmate number and name off by heart now. Maybe I can write letters to him when I leave so at least we can keep in touch. He would fully understand if I told him that once I leave I never plan on stepping foot in this place again unless I absolutely have to. I am one of the lucky ones by being able to leave. There are so many people here who are going to be calling their cells and this prison home for the rest of their lives. Some of them will then come to realize too late that they don’t want to be in here for that long.

By then it is too late and there is nothing that they can do about it. I was lucky to have Bob around to listen to me. He was the first person that really took the time to listen to me and to understand what I was going through. He is another reason behind why I would want to make music with some meaning behind it, a way too reach out to those who could get lost into the system that doesn’t really want to pay attention to them and get to the source of their issues and why they feel the way that they feel. If you get the reasons behind the bad behavior then you are more likely to find a way to make them change that or to improve their life. Maybe music will be my way of giving back to the community and trying to prevent kids from ending up here.

The kids like me at 14 and beyond who had no one to that would listen to them. The kids who will do anything to make anyone listen to them no matter what the cost might be. Even if that means committing a crime or several crimes. If I can make songs that they can relate to then maybe they wouldn’t feel to need to commit those crimes and act out as much. They will have that someone to hear them and someone they can relate to. Maybe I can talk to George about it one day since he is in a band himself and he has made songs like I want to make. He will know more about it than me as well since this is his full time job after all. The band’s first record is coming out soon, maybe in the next month or two and I am so proud of him.

Now it is time to say goodbye to Bob and this jail for the last time. I was starting to feel a little more emotional like I mentioned earlier, I am going to miss Bob like crazy. He has been reassuring me all morning that I am going to do just fine on the outside and that he believes he will see me in the media one day doing amazing things. I am not going to miss this jail one bit though; this place has been hell on earth. As the police officer comes to escort me through to the entrance where I will be leaving, the excitement starts to build. I can finally hug George for the first time and maybe we can kiss. “Now Murillo I mean this in the nicest possible way when I say I do not want to see your ass back in here,” the officer says as we walk out of the segregation block. It is something that I was never going to be offended by at all.

“Don’t worry office, I mean it when I say that I have no plans or intentions to come back,” I tell him. I am finally allowed to change into normal clothes, the ones that I wore when I was arrested last, but it is better than the thought of walking out of here in a prison uniform or naked. All of a sudden I hear the voice of doubt in my head. “ _George isn’t going to be there you know. He doesn’t really love you. The relationship isn’t going to last now you’re free,”_ it tells me. I ignore it because when I called George last night he told me that he was going to come and get me. I know that he wouldn’t lie to me especially not on the phone. I happily hand back everything the officers need back. Then there is some bits of paperwork I have to sign before I am officially released and can walk out of those gates hopefully into the waiting arms of George. The officers didn’t mention or make any indication that anyone is here to collect me or that they care.

That is the issue with the officers that mainly work the front intake desks. They don’t get to know you as well as the officers inside the jail itself. The ones who patrol your cell block, make sure you’re in order and are there to shake you down or strip search you. To the front deskers we are just another criminal who is going to leave, and they expect to see us back within the next thirty days or so. I bounce my foot while I sit awaiting them to make sure that they have all of the paperwork in order and to make sure I don’t suddenly have any outstanding warrants for things I might have done before I was arrested. You don’t know if the gang I used to be in would decide to put my name down for another crime they want me to take the fall for.

The gang leader who is on the outside will know that I have left the gang by now. Word spreads like wildfire in the jail and they always have someone who is in the jail who will report back to the higher ups whenever something happens. I don’t think I need to worry about them coming after me. They have no idea that I have told the officers anything. My thoughts turn to what I want to do when I get out in a few minutes, I haven’t smoked a cigarette in months, and I know George smokes. I haven’t seen the sky or felt the grass under my feet for months either. The sound of going for a walk on one of the beaches on a nice day or evening also sound amazing to me. Although being honest with myself anything sounds better than being in here for months at a time again. Now it is time for the moment of truth and the moment I have been waiting for. Is George going to be waiting for me outside of these gates or not?

I didn’t have to wait long to find out. George was waiting for me when I walk out of the gates. “DANNY” George calls, in case he didn’t think that I had seen him the first time. He slowly jogs towards me and as soon as we get close to each other he picks me up and I hug him as tightly as I dare. It has been way too long since I have hugged someone, and it is the best feeling in the world. “Hey George. It has been way too long since I have hugged someone,” I tell him. George grins at me. I am just overwhelmed with the happiness of being out and freedom. I have not seen the outside world for years and I am not going to take it for granted ever again. “I bet my love. I also don’t think that you have had one of these in a long time either,” George tells me, and I feel quite confused. I have a vague idea of what he is hinting at and what he means.

George clears it all up when he kisses me on the lips. He was definitely right about that; I have not been kissed in a long time. I think it has been longer than I have been hugged. I kiss him back and it was the best feeling in the world. The butterflies I had whenever I was about to see George was nothing compared to how I was feeling now. “You are right George; I have not had a kiss in such a long time. It was the best I have ever had,” I tell him, as he puts me down on the ground so we can walk to his car and I can go home. His arm goes around my shoulders and it just feels right. It feels like it was meant to be, and this was destined to happen in some strange way. My new better life starts right now, and I could not be more ready for this change. “I am glad you enjoyed that kiss because there are plenty more where that came from” he tells me. I honestly really like the sound of that.

Then the voice of doubt comes back into my head along with the severe anxiety. “Wait you are not sick of me already?” I ask him. I had to ask him because it was just going to irritate my anxiety even further and we had just gotten into the car. He seemed to be quite stunned by the fact that I has said that so soon after I have gotten out of jail. “I am not sick of you my love. I have been waiting for this day for so long. I have been ready to welcome you to our apartment,” George tells me. For the first time in forever I feel safe enough to let some tears fall and George carefully wipes them away as they fall. He is concerned but I feel like he understands where I am coming from and why my emotions are everywhere. Someone actually cares about me. “I love you too sexy,” I tell him, finally figuring out a nickname for him. It is not the best, but it will do.

He is an incredibly sexy man, and I am the luckiest man alive to have him as my boyfriend. Especially when there are so many women who will also view George in the same way that I do. I have been spending a lot of my time in jail working out which George approves of as he considers me to be sexy as well. “I’m glad. Let’s go home and enjoy the time that we can start tonight the way that we should do,” he tells me. I couldn’t agree with George more and I excited realizing that I get to spend the night with George in the same bed possibly. It is all up to him what he has set up in our home. I like the sounds of all of these words, like ours and home. “Let’s go home George,” I tell him. He makes the drive to the apartment and when he wasn’t changing gears he held my hand. I held his hand and looked out the window as I see Los Angeles for the first time in years.

Nothing has really changed; I see gang members everywhere and just life continuing on as normal. No one is going to pay us much attention. I know that it is still a taboo subject to be openly gay and in a gay relationship because it is 2008 and things haven’t changed since I was in jail. One day we are going to be able to walk around openly holding hands and maybe posting some pictures of ourselves romantically on social media. The future is looking bright for me and I am going to take every opportunity that I am going to get to make sure I stay on the right track and have a good life on the outside. I need to start looking for a job in the next few days and see how far I can get. It is not going to be easy, but I am more than willing to rise up to the challenge and show to potential employers why my criminal record is not going to define who I am as a person anymore.

“I know it is not much but welcome home Danny,” George tells me when we arrive at our apartment. To me this is luxury, I don’t have to spend 23 hours a day in one room as there are many rooms in here. I also don’t have to sleep in the same room that I pee in anymore. You don’t know how much you take a bathroom for granted until you are in a cell and face a broken toilet. “Are you kidding me? This is luxury compared with where I was just this morning,” I tell him. I am looking forward to so many things that he won’t even consider. I can have decent hot food, food whenever I feel hungry, privacy to shower, not constant strip searches by guards during shakedowns, and the ability to watch as many shows as possible. “Oh yeah, I am sorry Dan I forgot,” he tells me. I don’t expect him to know what jail is like. I can’t remember if he has been to jail himself or not. it has been a while since he has told me.

“It is okay George. You don’t have to apologize. I didn’t expect you to realize it feels different to me than it will do to you,” I tell him. To someone like George who has lived here longer I know that it doesn’t feel like much and he might even feel disappointed that it is not a mansion in his eyes. “That makes sense. Feel free to explore the apartment and settle in,” George tells me. I do need to find a bathroom, as I haven’t really felt the need to go until now. I found the two bedrooms and I can hear George making himself busy in the kitchen. I do eventually find it and I am amazing by how clean and well decorated the apartment is. I go back into the second bedroom and sit on the bed. I am not sure how to deal with how suddenly overwhelmed I feel right now. I don’t deserve George’s kindness or love.

“Hey Danny, are you okay bud?” George asks me. I don’t know how long I have been sitting here alone for. Obviously, it has been long enough for George to come and find me and check up on me. I just shrug because I can’t find any words to explain how I feel. He comes to sit next to me on the bed and then I naturally cuddle up to him for the reassurance and it feels right. “I just feel very overwhelmed by all of this. It is like every part of my body is screaming that I don’t deserve to be released or to be here and definitely don’t deserve to be here with you,” I tell him. I have spent the last 6 years either locked in a cell or out on the streets fighting for my right to survive praying I don’t get caught by the cops. George has got to be the most understanding guy I have ever met in my entire life.

I was wondering how long it would take for my depression to rear it’s ugly head. I guess it is hitting me alongside the anxiety and the culture shock. I have never thought that this day would come so I had not thought about how I would cope with life on the outside. I don’t feel as if I was ready for all of this. George just lets me sit next to him under his arm while he draws small soothing circles on my arm. He lets me vent all of my issues without saying anything or trying to interrupt me. I need to figure out a way to get to a doctor soon so I can stop anxiety and depression getting to me. I have plenty of time to talk to George and get all of that organized in the next few days and weeks. He lets me talk about anything that I want to get off my chest.

Like the fight that landed me in intensive care and made me quickly realize that if I didn’t leave the gang life soon enough that I was not going to make it out of the jail alive. It scared me straight and I have made damn sure to make that change that is necessary to make sure that I was going to walk out of the jail instead of being taken out in a van on the way to a cemetery somewhere where no one was going to miss me. That was before I had met George and had my life flipped right side up. I would have said upside down, but I have lived my life so upside down already that I felt like right way round sounds a whole lot better. George was clearly more concerned that I had almost died in jail, but he was happy that I am alive and here now.

If I felt like the last 6 years have been crazy nothing could have prepared me for what has happened in the last 5 to 6 months of my sentence. Bob really has a lot I am thankful for when it comes to how I am feeling right now and that I am out of jail with a secure roof over my head and someone who can finally keep me out of jail for good. Dylan loved all my artwork and he still doesn’t know I have been in jail. I am going to be meeting the band soon and I am excited for it. I have drawn for all of them since that discussion with George about drawing for Dylan and from what I have heard the feedback has been quite good this far. The only one who wasn’t that keen on my art was Aron but from what I have heard from George was that the opinion who doesn’t really matter what he thinks.

“I know Danny. You have had a rough six years and I think that it is about time that life was nice to you,” George tells me. He might be right, but I don’t think about it that way. My brain doesn’t allow me to think that way. I made the choices which I paid for when I went to jail. The only choice that was not mine was to be homeless at 17 years old. “I guess so,” I tell him, trying to not be very negative because today is meant to be a positive day. He gets up and I miss his touch already. “Well, how about joining me for lunch in the kitchen? I bet you’re starving,” he asks me. I like the sound of that because I actually feel quite hungry. He holds out his hand. “Lunch sounds amazing,” I tell him, as I take his hand I get up out of the bed. I have got to stop being so anxious about everything.

Lunch was amazing. It was actual food and looked so good. Yes, you could argue that the jail food I have been living on for the last 6 years was better than being starved but everyone knows that food is always barely edible. It is like they want to make you suffer more while you’re inside. “Thank you George, this is amazing,” I tell him. If this is how well he cooks, then this morning I officially died and made it into heaven. George just seems to be the best at everything, and I mean everything. “You’re very welcome,” he tells me. I bet he was finding me adorable right now, I have barely been out for a day and I am just overly happy once the anxiety goes away. I wash and dry all the lunch dishes when I am finished, but George won’t let me put them away. He puts his finger under my chin so that I look into his eyes. I move closer to him and then he moves his hand away from my face and puts them both on my waist. Then we have a sweet yet passionate kiss.

He was right when he told me there was more where that came from. I feel like now all my anxiety has gone away that I am walking on cloud 9. He finishes putting the dishes away, telling me that I should go into the living room and relax. I can’t think of anything better to do so I go into the living room and make myself comfortable on the couch. It was the first time that I had a comfortable seat in a long time. George walks in after a few minutes and sits next to me. “Hey handsome, lets find something cool to watch,” he says. I let him chose what we watch because I have no idea what shows are current or cool. It is something which didn’t seem to bother George. I bet it is because he has been waiting months to show me all of his favorite cool shows. After a few minutes I move myself so that I am sitting on George’s lap and I am glad he doesn’t mind.

I am just going to try and put my mind at ease and enjoy my second chance and new life that has just started. If you had told me 6 or 8 months ago that at the end of my sentence I would have a permanent roof over my head and boyfriend who loves me even though he knows what I used to be part of then I would have called you a liar for sure. The Danny who was in jail back then believed that there was nothing to look forward to in life and that whenever his sentence ended that he was going to end up right where he was when he was arrested. Homeless with nowhere to go and no one to support him. I know deep down the jail would not have allowed me to leave unless they knew I had somewhere to live. They would have put me in a place like a halfway house or something until I could get back onto my feet and support myself.

George decides that he wants to start playing with my hair. I don’t mind it and actually find it quite relaxing. I close my eyes and just try and listen to the TV. It is so weird being used to the noise of jail every day to being out. You almost feel as if you have gone deaf it is so quiet. I don’t think I need to warn George about the sudden jumpiness I might have now that I am out. He knows how loud it is when I was allowed phone calls. Someone always had to yell about something even if it was mostly nonsense words. George chuckled a couple of times when he looked at me and he saw me with my eyes closed and a huge smile on my face. I was relaxed and I was not happy when he decided to stop playing with my hair all of a sudden.

“I am sorry, and I am glad that you are comfy Danny, but I need to get us some snacks and drinks. I also need the bathroom,” George tells me. I take the cue/hint and move off George’s lap. He does as he tells me he is going to do. He comes back with two cans of soda and a big bag of chips. “Thanks George,” I tell him as we make ourselves comfortable together on the couch once more. The day could not be going any better in my opinion. Then George’s phone rang. He told whoever was on the other side of the phone that he was busy and not available to hang out today. I was naturally quite curious about who was on the phone, but I decided to not say anything about it. It is not my business who George talks too. He’s a free man after all.

“Sorry Danny, Jorel wanted me to spent the afternoon with him. I already told him that my good friend was moving in from another state and I was going to be spending today with them,” George tells me. I was wondering how we were going to introduce me into the group. They obviously know about me because George has been talking about me and I sent them drawings and I know quite a lot about them at this point. I am not ready to say to new people that I was in jail for the last 6 years so being out of state is good enough for me. I know they could look up my details in the system if they wanted to and it would all be there. “Fair enough George don’t let the fact that I am here stop you from spending time with them though,” I tell him. The last thing we need is for all of them to change their mind and start hating me.

I have seen it too many times before. A guy is in an all-male friendship group of at least 4 or more people. That guy then gets a girlfriend, and that guy spends any of his free time with that girlfriend talking to her or taking her out on dates. That then leads to anger and hatred towards both the guy and the girl for spending too much time together. Eventually the whole group falls apart because for some odd reason they are very jealous of the guy who has the girlfriend. “Don’t worry about that my love. I spend plenty of time with the guys especially since our first record is so close to completion. A few days away is a good thing,” he tells me. That makes sense to me, because too much time with the same people and getting stressed will also be the potential ending of a friendship group no matter how tight they feel the friendship is.

Something tells me that when the record does come out that they will all spend at least a couple of days away from each other after all the initial celebrations are over. I could tell sometimes when we would talk to each other on the phone when he has had a rough day in the studio because his tone of voice just sounds stressed and he is a lot more apologetic towards me. I know all to well how it feels to be that stressed and how it feels to be on the receiving end of the stress. Officers are not perfect one hundred percent of the time and they know that. It is how they are dealing with it in front of other people is how they are respected or not. That was my view on the situations I observed on a daily basis sometimes during my lifetime.

All we do for the next few hours is watch television and drink soda. We had finished the bag of chips within an hour and a half. Well George at most of them, I was eating some too, but I was not used to eating so much and having that freedom to eat whenever I wanted to, so I was not that hungry. I was also just enjoying the fact that I was spending the day not alone anymore. I wasn’t even so bothered about being in the same room for most of the day because I knew that it was not as claustrophobic and disgusting as the room I had spend so long in. I was pretty relaxed, and I was happy to be by George’s side the whole time. Every now and again we would just look up or down at each other and just give each other a little quick kiss on the cheek.

Part of us feels like we need some catch up time because for the last four months of our relationship we have been physically separated from each other. We don’t kiss each other too frequently because we do not want to over do it and we wouldn’t kiss each other every minute of the day if we had started our relationship in a normal scenario like us both being home. At least we can make more normal memories with each other now that I am free. I can’t wait for the day where we get to go out on a proper date and just be ourselves. My stomach is starting to rumble a little bit and I think it is coming close to the time in the evening we would be having dinner. My schedule is all off and I am all confused but I am going to be okay. I will adjust to this in the space of a week.

“Now tell me Danny, when was the last time you had a decent takeaway pizza?” George asks me. I have to spend a minute or so thinking about it. I know it has definitely not happened while I was in jail at least. “Not for a long time why?” I ask him. We have been sat here watching TV for hours just comfortably. The only time we moved off the couch was to go to the bathroom. I have a good feeling that I know where this is going. “Well, I am considering ordering some pizza for dinner tonight, but only if you want some pizza too,” George tells me. That sounds like an amazing idea. I am getting kind of hungry again to be honest like I was thinking about earlier. “Sounds good to me,” I tell him, and he smiles at me. I am glad that he is happy.

“Okay, lets order a pizza then,” he tells me. He shows me the menu from a pizza place I am unfamiliar with, but I trust his judgment one hundred percent. We make the order together and decide for a regular three cheese pizza because I wasn’t so sure on some of the toppings. I have had some of the toppings before, but this is the first time in years I am having any sort of junk food and I don’t want to make myself ill accidentally. Soon the pizza is here, and George decides we should have a break from watching TV and have a floor picnic instead. He also brought two beers with him and I know for a fact that I have not had beer in so long. “To a fresh start and new beginnings,” he tells me, holding his beer can in the air and we toast our cans. Today is the start of a long crime free life I can tell. I have worked too hard to screw up now.

My first evening and night out of jail was probably the most relaxed I have ever felt in my entire life. George and I spend a good few hours playing video games together. Neither of us were sore losers during the racing or too hard on each other in the other games we played. George had another beer during our gaming session, but I decided against it. Typically when it comes to me alcohol usually leads to problems. Especially the kind of problems which also end up with me being arrested as teen because I was stupid enough to allow myself to be caught. George didn’t even pressure me once to have another beer which was a nice change. Bob was right when he told me that George was a good influence on me. I will have to thank him for that one day.

“I am so proud of you Danny. You have made several steps today that I didn’t expect on your first day out of jail. You’re going to prove all of those stupid doubters wrong I can feel it,” George tells me, and I smile. I was just glad to be out of the toxic environment I was in. No more peer pressure, no more being forced into doing things that actually made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. “Thanks George, but I can’t take all the credit for this. Us being paired for that letter exchange was the final thing that switched that change switch on in my head,” I tell him. He has to know how much he has done for me and how much he has helped me even if he already knows that himself and just wants to be humble about it all. Did I mention before that I have found the perfect man for me? If not then I am saying it now. George is the perfect man.

I am so happy that I am spending tonight in a comfortable double bed which I am not going to fall off of in the middle of the next. What is even better is that I get to sleep next to the man that I love for the first night of many to come. I didn’t want to ask about the sleeping arrangements at first and I was more than happy to sleep in the spare room, but he insisted that we should sleep in the same bed. After all we have been waiting months for this moment. He has even gone so far as to get me a whole new wardrobe and all the essentials thanks to the friend. We had a little silly ceremony at bedtime of me getting rid of my old life by throwing the clothes that I was arrested in for the last time in the trash. I did suggest burning them, but it was too late in the day for that.

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**_If you made it this far congratulations. I am so sorry for the lack of posting in the last few months. I thought I was going to be uploading more in lockdown 1.0 but it turns out that wasn’t the case. Then the writers block hit and I hate feeling like I let you guys down but this girl needed a break. Hopefully more updates to come but I don’t know._ **


	8. Outcasts or friends |DM x J3T|

**_Hey everyone, this might have a few darker elements to it so if you are triggered by bullying or anything that goes with it please go and check out my other works where they might be a bit nicer._ **

**_Also, I wanna give a big shout out to AwokenMonster, Jess and Danneh! Go and check out their works they make good stuff_ **

**_High School AU_ **

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A mother stands at the door frame to her son’s bedroom. It is late at night, but she was feeling restless. Raising her only child all by herself since the day he was born has been rough, but she always thought that she was doing the right thing. Her fifteen year old son was a great young man, it wasn’t his fault that she has had to transfer him three times in the last two years that she has had to move him into a new school. The bullying he suffered through has been none of his fault and she tried to do everything she could do in her power to make it stop. It has been particularly bad the last 6 months while he has been at the new one. He had been rushed to hospital and almost died twice as he has not come home and has been found somewhere in the school grounds.

She watches as her son rolls over in her sleep, the moonlight shining on his innocent face which was covered in fresh bruises because the bullies didn’t allow him to run away from his lesson fast enough for his liking. She had complained to the schools multiple times as they claim to have an anti-bullying and zero tolerance policy. They use the feeble excuse that they never see the bullying occur therefore they did not need to do anything. Her son told her that some teachers had seen him being beaten up, but they didn’t do anything to help. She knew that his current school hadn’t seen anything, but they would keep their eye out. It didn’t reassure both mother and son completely but the 15 year old was not ready to give up on his education just yet.

She had been talking to her friend who also has a son round about his age to see if there was anything, they could do to encourage a friendship between them and then maybe if they could expand that group of friends. Unfortunately, despite going to the same high school they have not actually crossed paths as of yet because of how the one who is being bullied runs away from everyone. They knew they had their work cut out getting their sons to get along with each other, but it would happen eventually. They just have to keep trying. Even though they want their children to be friends, they are not going to force the issue. If they don’t want to be friends, then they were going to have to think of something else and never pressure their two boys to be friends.

Just as she was about to leave the room to go to her own room, she heard her son whimper as he started tossing and turning in his bed. The nightmares were a direct result from the bullying he has suffered through. People think the way she deals with the nightmares is weird, but it helps with the close and transparent relationship she has with her son. She goes back into the room and gently shakes her son’s shoulder to wake him up. It takes a couple of tries but he bolts upright and needs a minute or two to get himself adjusted to the fact that he is awake, and his nightmare has just come to a sudden end. His mom stayed at the end of his bed, so that she didn’t scare him anymore than the nightmare did. “Calm down darling it was just a nightmare,” she tells him.

Part of the mom guilt within her was telling her that he was reliving some of his previous beatings and bullying moments that have already happened. There was nothing she could tell him which would make him feel one hundred percent better with all of this. There was nothing she could do which would make the pain that he suffers go away. “Mom why does this have to happen to me?” the young teen asks before breaking down in tears. She immediately goes in for the hug and holds her son as tightly as she dares to at least comfort him while he cries. He hugs her back tighter than she was hugging him, but it was clear to her that her son needed the comfort right now. “I don’t know my boy, but I will do everything I can to make it stop,” she tells him. All she can do is provide the same level of comfort and support that she has been doing for the last few years.

When her son finally calmed down, she lay down with him to help him settle back to sleep. It might have been weird and something that you would do with your 5 to 7 year old child. However, it was another part of their relationship that she still treasured as he has grown into a teenager. If her son still wanted cuddles in the privacy of his own home with his mother. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors, so it doesn’t affect the bullying. “I love you so much, always remember that” she tells him. She couldn’t see him that well, but he was smiling at her. “I love you too mom,” he replies. It doesn’t take long with some circles being rubbed into his back for the young teen to fall back to sleep. She was going to stay with him until she was certain that he wasn’t going to have another nightmare again.

She knew there was a possibility that he could have a second or even a third nightmare during the rest of his night, but she would be in her room ready and willing to comfort him again and to help him to go back to sleep. “If I could take your place and go through all of this pain I would do it in a heartbeat,” she whispers. It was another aspect of the mom guilt that she faced every day that her world was being destroyed by some nasty kids who didn’t deal with their own issues in the way that always resulted in the innocent person minding their own business getting hurt. That person happened to be her son and if she could have come into the class and shown the boys and girls a thing or two, however there is the fact that it was illegal, and she didn’t thing going to jail when her son needed her was a good idea.

She was there for about two hours and then went to her own room. It was only 1 am and she was tired. She had the day off from work, so it didn’t really matter that much to her if she didn’t get much sleep. All that she wanted to do was be there for her son as best as she could. She felt like she had to make it up to him for what she felt was failing him when it came to how she had been dealing with the bullying. She also knew deep down that there was not a perfect recipe for dealing with bulling and her son still loved her just as much as he did before the bullying happened. Her thoughts often repeated themselves over and over again because there was no resolution for him. He was going to go to school tomorrow and still be bullied and maybe even assaulted again.

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**_3 weeks later – George p.o.v_ **

“Hey George, are you going to meet us at the skate park later on” Jordon asks me, he had been texting both Matthew and Jorel all day since they don’t go to high school and he wasn’t particularly interested in the work. “I’ll think about it, I’ll text you when I make my decision,” I tell him. I love hanging out at the skate park, but Aron was being a bit of an asshole today and I didn’t want to spend any more time with him today. Dylan just shook his head. They have always considered me to be a bit of nerd because out of everyone in the group I was the one who was most likely to be doing all my schoolwork on time and end up helping them out with theirs. It was definitely one of those moments where you get asked “oh hey can I copy your homework?” and you just respond with “sure but don’t make it look like you copied it”

We had just finished school for the day, and I was honestly glad that we were done and that I could go home. I had a small headache forming and I was the only one who was driving home and just wanted to leave. Dylan was waiting for Jorel and Matt so they could go and buy food or whatever and then hang out at the skate park for the rest of the afternoon into the evening. “Alright then, don’t leave us hanging for too long though,” Dylan tells me. I swear he has the patience of a two year old at times. It has only been a few minutes since I said maybe to him. “I won’t I’ll let you know before I have eaten dinner what my decision is,” I tell him. He seem to accept my answer and I left before Matt and Jorel arrived, but I’ll text them later.

I saw a group of guys running away from the dumpsters like they had done something. They had bloody baseball bats which instantly made me concerned. I’ll bring my car around so it’s closer in case I need to do something. I have a first aid kid, after all the injuries the boys get at the skatepark I felt that it was worth it to do some first aid training and buy a kit. You never know when it will be needed. I have a feeling I am going to need it with the state those baseball bats were in. Who even brings a baseball bat to school? We don’t have a baseball program here as far as I know. I could be wrong though; I don’t pay attention to the sports events other than the basketball so I can remind Dylan and Jordon when they have matches coming up.

There was a kid unconscious right behind the dumpster. I’ve never seen him before, but he must be a student here. He was in a pretty rough shape, but it’s not the worst I have ever seen. “Don’t worry kiddo. I’m not going to hurt you, but I am going to help you,” I tell him. There was little chance he could hear me, but I did that anyways which was part of my first aid training. If he wakes up between now and me getting him back to the house then I wanted to make sure he knew he was okay, and he wasn’t being kidnapped or something. I opened the door to my backseats and lifted the kid into it. He couldn’t have been much younger than Jordon. Speaking of Jordon, I have to tell them that I am not going to be there after all. I am not going to go into specifics though.

I talk to the kid all the way home. Mom isn’t going to mind him being there as I am helping him, and he doesn’t need to go to the hospital because I can pretty accurately diagnose his injuries myself. I know there was a baseball bat involved so he might have some broken ribs. I will just have to wait until I can assess him properly. Mom wasn’t home when I got there, and neither was dad or little bro, "so I am guessing they were expecting me to be out and went to see our aunt or something. I take him straight to my room; I don’t care that my sheets might get some blood on them. I have some spares which I can change when I am done. I don’t think he’s bleeding that badly either, there are a few cuts cause some idiot had so barbed wire on their baseball bat.

“Right then, let’s find out what those bastards did to you,” I tell the unconscious teen I had on my bed. It did sound weird, but he wasn’t going to know, and neither was anyone else. Well he will know when he wakes up, I guess. It felt weird, the last few times I had patched the guys up, even if they had been beaten up it wasn’t quite this bad, and it wasn’t when they were unconscious. I still talked through the actions I was doing while I was doing them to make sure that he knew, and I was making sure I was making the right choices for him. I had to take the tattered remains of his shirt off. I have plenty of shirts that my mom was wanting to pass down to my brother. I am sure she won’t mind if this guy had one of them. My brother won’t wear all of them anyways.

I was right about the broken rib theory, but even if I had taken him to the hospital, it wasn’t like they weren’t going to do everything that I am going to do for this guy. You can’t put a cast or a bandage on broken ribs they have to heal on their own. I am also fairly certain that there was no internal bleeding which was good. If there was then I would feel bad if I did have to take him to the hospital when I had said multiple times already that it wasn’t going to happen. He’s already gonna be scared enough waking up with me here patching him up. Imagine how much worse it is gonna be if he woke up in a hospital surrounded by more strange people without knowing how the hell he got there. It’s didn’t take me too long to patch up my new friend and text the guys to let them know something had come up and I wasn’t going to be there.

They were both understanding but disappointed at the same time. I probably would not have gone anyways because I was still frustrated with Aron after his shit that he had done today. I could have told them I was angry with Aron, but they were also angry with him and he probably would not have come back to the skatepark knowing that people were angry with him. My evening has probably gotten more interesting having this mysterious teen anyways. My mom was talking about how her friend was struggling to help her son go through bullying in high school and if I would help them and I was sure that I had never seen this boy before so I have not been able to help him, but I am sure if I knew him I would help.

I cover him with the blanket because I was worried that he was going to get cold while I go to make myself something to eat. Mom trusts me to make my own dinner if she works late and I discovered that Dad is away on a business trip, so he wasn’t going to be here. Connor was most likely out with his friends again partying or something. It wasn’t anything fancy because I just wanted some mac and cheese. I made enough that if the guy I rescued wakes up and gets hungry. That’s if he is hungry, I am starting to over think things a little too much. I am considering ways of being a good host to someone I don’t know who I rescued from behind a dumpster who is still unconscious. He might want to leave as soon as he wakes up.

He might not be in a fit enough state to do that. However, when you are in that fight or flight mode it doesn’t matter to you at the time you just want to get out of the situation which you feel is dangerous or that your life is in danger. I will have to wait and see what happens when that time comes, there is no use speculating on what he will or will not do. He will be scared though, that is one thing that I can be certain of. The last thing he remembers will be that attack behind that dumpster. He isn’t going to know that I found him there and that I have brought him back because I want to help him. There was nothing interesting on the TV, but I still ate my dinner in the living room. I go back to my room once I am done though to check on him.

He’s still unconscious but he seemed to respond a little when I touched his cheek. There was a bruise there, so he responded to the pain. “Sorry,” I tell him. I think he might be starting to wake up, but I am not sure. Then I hear a car pull into the driveway, that has to be my mom. It was confirmed when I heard “George, I’m home,” when she entered the house. I didn’t realize that I have been home for 3 hours at this point. I am slightly concerned for my new friend here. Then again being knocked about with several baseball bats is enough to knock you out for a while. “Hello? I hear mom answer the house phone as it started ringing. I couldn’t hear who was on the other end though. “Calm down hun and start again,” I hear mom say next.

“Danny hasn’t come home yet. Has he texted you to say why?” she asks next. I think that was the name of her friends son that she has been worrying about a lot lately. The one who was being bullied in high school and had to transfer a bunch of times already. “Alright, just take a deep breath. I’ll go ask George if he has seen him,” mom says, and I smile. I knew mom was so kind and helpful towards others and I really hope we can find that kid. Mom walks into my room and stops when she sees the unconscious person on my bed. “What happened George?” she asks me. He moved a little when she spoke which made us both look at him. I hope he wakes up soon. “I saw some kids run from the dumpster with bloody baseball bats at the end of the school day and found him lying there,” I tell her.

I have no reason to lie to my mother. “He’s here with me hun. I think it’s best if he stays here under my boy’s care for tonight and then you can come get him in the morning. From what George just told me he was assaulted this afternoon,” she says, then she leaves to further explain to Danny’s mom why her son was now in my house and what I needed to do. “Don’t worry Danny. Your mom knows where you are now, you’re safe with me,” I tell him. It is nice to have a name for him now instead of calling him kid or teen. Danny stirs a little bit more, and I just moved some of his hair out of his eyes as gently as I possibly can without scaring him. I tell him anything and everything reassuring that I could think of off the top of my head.

I was just about to pick up a book five minutes later when Danny finally opened his eyes. I was sitting a little bit away from him, so I didn’t instantly scare him. I watch as he looks around frantically trying to get an idea of where he is when his eyes land on me. “Hey Danny, my name is George and I want to help you,” I tell him. No use overloading his poor brain with information now. He will know where I rescued him from so there is no use in making him relive the trauma of it all over again. “Thanks George,” he tells me, and I smile. I give him the chance to just get used to where he is and let him calm down a little bit. I am not expecting him to trust me straight away, but I want to tell him at some point that I want to protect him from the bullies.

Mom came in with two glasses of water and sat on the edge of the bed. Danny was sitting up on the bed with the aid of pillows I had gathered. She helped Danny hold the glass while he took a few sips from it. I hope mom lets him know that his mom knows where he is. I bet he will be worried that she is worried about him. “Oh shit, mom’s gonna be worried about me,” Danny says, he had a little bit more water and he was more alert now. He tried to get out of bed but the pain he is in stopped him. Mom would have stopped him too because he need the rest right now. “She was, but since we are friends, she phoned me and I have told her that you are here and she’s coming in the morning,” she tells him. He relaxes a little, but he’s not completely at ease.

It’s understandable though, he is with people he doesn’t know. Sure, he might have heard our moms conversations before like I had but it doesn’t mean if we see the other mom we will know who they are. He is probably not happy or comfortable with the idea of staying over tonight, but I will make sure that I can do my best to make sure that he is as comfortable as possible. “Don’t worry Danny, you can phone her in a bit. We both just think for now George can help you with some of the injuries you have and keep an eye on any concussion symptoms,” mom tells him. I sit next to him and I put my arm around his shoulder to offer some comfort. He tenses up but then completely relaxes into my side which made us all smile.

“Okay, thank you Mrs Ragan,” he tells her. Mom was still smiling but left the room. I am not one hundred percent sure what for though. I started rubbing circles in his arm, it was just something I felt like I needed to do to help keep him calm. “Oh, Danny if you want you could hang out with me and my friends the day after tomorrow. We’ll make sure no one bullies you ever again,” I tell him. He looks up at me with a mixture of both shock and disbelief. It hurts my heart to think that he has been bullied so much that he thinks that no one cares about him anymore outside of his family. “You’d really make this hell stop?” Danny asks me, I think it was a lot for him to get his head around. This whole evening has been a lot for him to deal with if I was being completely honest.

“Of course, I will Danny. There is no way you deserve that hell any longer. It’s time you have some people who will look after you,” I tell him. I am slowly remembering some of the things that mom has told me that he has been through already. I know most of the guys would be on board for Danny being under our wing and being in our friendship circle. There will be one who won’t be happy but that is just the way he is with everyone pretty much. “Thank you, George,” he tells me, just as mom walks back into the room with a bowl of the mac and cheese I had made a short while ago. She smiles when she sees that we are still sitting next to each other in bed. “I know you might not feel hungry but try and eat something,” she tells Danny.

He accepts the bowl from her which is a good start. I am not expecting him to eat much though, he was hit in the stomach quite a few times. It would be enough to put anyone off eating for a while, so I was surprised when he put a fork full into his mouth. I also guess in a not so good way he is used to this way of life. “Thank you Mrs Ragan, this is amazing,” Danny says, and mom looks at me. She technically made it in a way because she was the one who taught me how to make it from scratch. “Don’t thank me for making it sweetheart. George was the one who made it,” she tells him. I don’t think he could be shocked anymore with what he was learning about me and what I have already said I am willing to do for him as well.

“Damn you’re a good cook,” he tells me, and I chuckle. Obviously, I am not as good as his momma, no one is a better cook than their moms or dads. “Thanks Dan. Also, you’re welcome for everything you have thanked me for so far and will thank me for,” I tell him, and he chuckles. It is easier than saying you’re welcome every few minutes when he finds something to thank me for. It is painful to think that he has not had a decent friendship for at least the last couple of years if not longer. I am not going to delve deeper into that past until he wants to and feels ready for it. “You’re welcome. I guess it’s been a while since I have really had a friend, so part of me is like I have no idea what I am doing right now,” he tells me. Mom gives him a sad smile.

She leaves again saying something about getting the phone. “You’re stuck with me now Dan. I’m going to message a couple of my friends in a bit to let them know that you’re going to be joining us on Monday,” I tell him. I am quite close to Jorel, so he already knew, but he doesn’t go to high school so he’s no help really. I suppose he can help when we hang out after school together. He also told me that he wasn’t going to tell the others unless I wanted him too and he had my support regardless. That was good because I was hoping that he would keep it secret for me so that it doesn’t have the potential to spoil their evening because of a certain jealous person. “Fair enough, it doesn’t quite feel like a Friday evening to me yet,” he tells me.

It won’t do for a little while. I keep checking my phone and reminding myself that it is Friday, and we have two days of no school and the potential for Danny to get to know some of the guys before we go to school on Monday. I personally think it is better than turning up to school tomorrow like “Hey by the way the real reason I bailed last night was because I found this dude behind a dumpster passed out and he’s gonna be with us from now on.” I don’t see it working too well. I don’t think that they are going to get along as well as Danny and I have so far. They will be friends, but not instantly, I think. Danny was happy to sit next to me and eat the mac and cheese I had made. I was talking to Jorel about Danny and how I couldn’t wait to get him new friends.

“Danny, do you want to talk to your mom?” mom asks him once she came back to take his bowl away to wash it. It might help how he feels and how much he is probably going to miss his mom tonight because I don’t think they have spent much time apart. “Yes please,” he replies. He still stayed as close to me as possible which I was not going to complain about if I was being honest. He needs the comfort, and I am more than willing to give it to him. Mom leaves and quickly returns with the phone. Danny presses the buttons and I guess it was his mom’s number. “Hey mom, sorry I scared you earlier,” he tells her when she picks up the phone. I could just about hear her tell him that she was a lot happier knowing that he was somewhere safe.

They were talking about how I was going to look after him tonight and then he was going home at some point during the afternoon. This is handy for me to see if I could plan for Danny to meet Jorel, Jordon, Dylan, and Matt over the next couple of days so they can start that process of getting to know each other. I really want this to go well and Danny needs some new friends who aren’t going to stab his back or hurt him in anyway. He was happier talking to his mom now as well. I could tell he was the type who didn’t want to worry anyone in anyway and now that he is awake and able to talk to his mom, she will be less worried, and he will be happier. “I will see you tomorrow Mom. Goodnight,” he tells her at the end of the call.

“This feels weird. I’ve not spent a night away from mom ever. She’s always been home at night,” he tells me. I start rubbing the comforting circles in Danny’s arm again to see if that would help him. I have been used to my mom being away from me overnight. “It will feel weird at first, but it might not be a bad thing to start now. You have at least one friend who will be with you whenever you need it,” I tell him. I want to be as honest with him as possible right from the get-go. I want him to feel like he now has that friend he can call at 8 pm and say hey my mom’s not home tonight do you want to come over? And to be there within 10 minutes like I already take for granted with the guys I call my friends. Knowing about what he has gone through is seriously making me evaluate my own friendships and if I take those for granted or not.

I definitely feel like there are moments where I have taken my friendships for granted with them. Then again, they can say the same thing about their friendships with me because I am the one they go to when they need advice or support. I don’t mind though; I would rather be the one who they feel as if they can confide in rather than someone who they might feel intimidated by for whatever reason. I have been trying my best to channel my frustration and anger through work outs. As a result of that I am a bit more muscular than some of my friends and it can scare people thinking that I am about the beat the living shit out of them or something. I would definitely beat someone up if they tried to lay a finger on my friends and Danny is included in that now.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see what happens now I have at least one friend. You said there were other guys, right?” he asks me. It is 9 pm right now and neither of us particularly feel like sleeping right now. I am getting a little buzz of excitement and happiness from having Danny ask about the friends. Now I can start to sow the seeds of friendship between him, Jorel, Jordon, Matt and Dylan tonight and see if he might be up to meeting them on Sunday so he can have tomorrow off to rest and recover as best as he can. I talk to him and tell him as much about those four as I can as well as letting him know more about myself. He deserves that much at least. We are already getting along great and it has only been six hours since the whole thing started.

He lets me know more about himself at the same time. I figured he was quite shy anyways, but when you get to know him better, he is a bright and bubbly person. He has no siblings that he knows of and his father left before he was born. It’s just him and his mom which explains why they are so close to each other. It has only been her and him for the last 15 years and it’s going to change now. He now has at least me, and my mom and Jorel. I was still keeping him updated on how things are going just so that he was aware of it. I want everything to go as best as it possible could and that means everyone who matters needs to be comfortable with the idea of there being a new member to our friendship group who will be with us every day from Monday onwards.

It is a big change to get used to, especially when you have a routine, and you know things are a certain way and have been like that for two years. A new person is like throwing in a whole new personality to the mix and seeing how that personality is going to get along with the rest of the guys can bring a lot of anxiety. If this doesn’t work, then I have potentially ruined the entire group dynamic and that is the last thing that I want. Danny gave me permission to tell Jorel some of the basic information tonight, so they have an idea of what he is like as a person when they meet on Sunday. “I am sure now mom knows that I have at least one new friend she is going to be pushing for me to go out and be a normal teen,” he tells me, basically letting me know that Sunday is going to be fine as long as he is feeling okay.

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing Danny. She only wants the best for you,” I tell him. I know for sure that is all that any parent who is involved in their children’s life wants for them. He smiles and I think he knows that is what his mother intends. “Yeah, I think it is just weird to go from being friendless to boom suddenly I have like six friends,” he tells me. It makes sense when you consider he has had no social life from the moment the horrific bullying began till about two minutes ago. I think it is safe to say that Danny and I are friends now. “Makes sense though I am sure you will get used to it pretty quickly,” I tell him. I am also starting to think that he is getting tired now, but he wants to stay awake and talk to me a little longer. He yawned and I tried so hard not to do the same.

“Yeah, maybe I should get some sleep,” he says after a minute or two of fighting more yawns. I was also getting pretty tired so going to sleep now was not going to do us any harm. “Good idea. I can stay with you if you want or I will go and sleep on the couch,” I tell him. He definitely was not expecting me to say that I was going to be the one sleeping on the couch. I bet he thought because this is my room, I would kick him out and make him sleep there instead of me. “You can stay here, this is your room after all,” he tells me. I still can’t understand why people are so keen to bully him, he is literally the kindest most considerate 15 year old I know. “I know, but I thought that you might have wanted a bit of privacy that’s all. I would be more than happy to sleep on the couch,” I tell him.

Since he has said he wants me to stay I don’t mind staying. We both lay down properly and I just watch as his eyes immediately close and a few short minutes later his breathing evens out and he’s fast asleep. “Goodnight Danny,” I whisper, not wanting to wake him. I close my eyes just as I hear footsteps approach the doorway. “Goodnight boys,” I hear my mom say, but she thinks we are both asleep, so I don’t say anything back. I think she had been talking to dad on the phone like she usually does when he’s away on these trips. “Yeah, he’s so kind. Danny is literally the sweetest too,” she says, obviously she had told dad about what happened today. I manage to fall asleep before I hear anything else mom has to say about us.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_Monday morning – Danny p.o.v_ **

For the first time since I started middle school and then high school, I am awake and not terrified for my life. I don’t have to get the bus anymore, George said he is going to be picking me up and dropping me off again which is something mom has definitely approved. I am not going to get bullied today, I am not going to be found unconscious behind another dumpster for as long as George and my other friends are around. “Morning Danny,” mom tells me when I walk into our little kitchen dining room. She was already making toast and coffee for us both. “Morning Mom,” I reply, and I smile at her. Even though I had no control over what happened to me on Friday I still feel bad for worrying her so much. She hugged me as tight as she dared when I saw her the next morning.

“How are you feeling today?” she asks, I had just stretched but winced as I did so. I spent most of Saturday resting and not moving much. Then on Sunday I still spent a good chunk of time resting but I had also gone to the skate park by the school to meet up with George and the others and to meet them in person for the first time. “Still a bit sore, but I think if I take Tylenol when I need to and just not do gym today then I should be okay,” I tell her, she already had a doctor’s note from the hospital after we went to double check my ribs to see if they were definitely broken and they are. “Alright, but don’t forget you can phone me or Mrs Ragan at any time if you feel like you can’t do it anymore,” she tells me. We are quite close to the Ragan’s now.

“I will mom,” I tell her. She has work today but I know she will probably give me a call at lunch time to see how I am doing. She knows if I feel like I can’t go through with the whole school day that I will sign myself out or get the nurse to call her to come and get me. I think I am going to be fine though. “That’s good,” she says, as she puts my breakfast in front of me. I thank her and get started eating. George texted me about 5 minutes ago to say he’s going to be outside at 7.45 am to pick me up. It’s only 7 am now so I have plenty of time to eat, take some pain meds and get ready for the day. “Yeah I am glad George is taking me in today. I don’t think I would have coped being on the bus,” I tell her. She knows some of the bullying happens there.

The bus drivers never said anything though. There was one who shouted loudly if I see any bullying happen on my bus then whoever did it will have to walk to school. It made the bullying stop that one day, but I never saw that bus driver again. Someone told us that she had been fired for something she had done elsewhere, but I missed her. “I know hun, I would have been more worried if you were going on the bus too. At least you have those five lovely lads to protect you,” she says, it came out sounding as if I am a damsel in distress, but I know her intentions are good. They want to protect me as I would do for them in that situation. It is so weird to go from not having any friends to having 5 like I told George on the Friday night.

I don’t think 3 days is really enough time to let the situation sink in really. Especially because I slept quite a fair bit more than usual on Saturday once I had gotten home, I barely responded to any texts from the guys. They understood though, since they know what I have been through and have been given a rundown of my injuries after I went to the emergency room on Saturday morning. George already knew because he had treated me on Friday and did a really good job on it. I downed most of my coffee and walked into my room. I had already eaten the toast and taken my painkillers while I was talking to mom. I was starting to get nervous even though I know them already. I feel like it is going to be different being in school with them.

“Hey, it’s okay to be nervous sweetie. It is perfectly fine because you don’t know if people are different in school than they are outside of the school setting,” she tells me. I know I won’t see Matt and Jorel until after school but that’s okay. I am going to be overwhelmed if this all goes the way it is planned anyways. I don’t think the bullying will move to the classroom because the teachers have been told about the assault on Friday and are keeping a close eye on the class. Once the hospital found out how I got all my injuries it was nearly impossible for them to not involve the police and last I heard all of the ones who did it have been arrested because of George’s quick identification. I don’t remember any of their faces because I was looking down until I passed out.

“I know, I just don’t know if I am worrying unnecessarily. They have been really nice to me so far,” I tell her. There are so many thoughts rushing through my head at the moment it is becoming hard to keep up with them all. Mom walks up behind me and rubs my shoulders and I look at her. “It’s okay to feel all of these things, this is something new and you haven’t experienced this before. I am still only a phone call away whenever you need me,” she tells me. I know she is working, but her boss will understand if it is a family call. I appreciate mom offering me the advice and support. I am all dressed and ready to go. All I need to do is make sure everything is in my bag that I need for the lessons. If I make sure everything is prepared now, I can use what little time I have left trying to calm myself down and make sure that I am not going to have a panic attack.

George texted me to tell me he is outside, and I replied saying he could come up if he wanted. I had forgotten to put my shoes on, and I was struggling with every aspect of putting them on and I was starting to get a bit overwhelmed and frustrated. Mom was getting herself ready for work and I didn’t want to disturb her having a little bit of me time since she has been taking good care of me the last two days and it will continue while my recovery continues from the beating. George knocked on the door and then I told him that he could just walk in because we trust him. “Having shoe trouble again?” he asks after we tell each other hello. I nod, feeling like I would probably cuss a whole lot because of how I feel right at this moment.

“I am taking that as a yes, let me help,” he tells me. He crouches down and with barely any effort he puts my shoes on my feet and ties the laces. I felt rather embarrassed really as he had done this on the Saturday and my mom has done it every time, I have needed to put my shoes on since. It was just sitting down on the floor to get them on was painful with all the internal and external bruising and broken ribs. “Yeah, thanks George,” I tell him. He then gently helps me to my feet because that was something else that the pain made difficult for me. “Have you taken pain meds this morning?” he asks me. I have never had a friend care so much about me. “Yeah, about twenty minutes ago. They haven’t kicked in yet,” I tell him.

It is so weird to have someone who actually genuinely cares about you and wants to make sure you’re doing everything possible to make sure you are okay. He grabs my bag for me on the way out of my room. We both shout bye to my mom who shouts back and tells us both to have a good day. An older neighbor smiles at us when we walk past on the way to his car. “You’ve got extra Tylenol in your bag right in case you need it?” George asks me, and I nod. It was one of the first things that I made sure I had when I was packing my bag this morning. “Good Danny. I have some in my bag as well just in case,” he tells me. I already knew he was the kind of guy who would have all the things someone would need. He is absolutely amazing.

Jordon and Dylan were already waiting for us by the time we arrived at school. They both gently hugged me when I saw them. “Morning Dan and George,” they tell us and we both say morning back. Then Jordon asks to see my timetable. I hand over my little homework diary without questioning it and he flips straight to where my timetable had been glued in. “Oh, I didn’t realize that I had so many classes with you. You can come sit next to me if that makes you feel more comfortable,” Jordon tells me, and it was like all my nerves from earlier just fell away. They are just as nice to me in school as they are outside of school. “That would be amazing Jordon,” I tell him. No one has ever sat next to me; they would avoid me like I was diseased or something.

The one time people did sit next to me they would just hit me until the teacher moved them away so I could get on with my work and they could do whatever they wanted, I guess. Jordon got a pen out and wrote a small J on all of the lessons he had with me this week and he was right; it was about 80% of our overall classes. That mean I don’t even have to worry about someone hurting me in the lessons because someone will be protecting me. the 20% of lessons he’s not there I will just have to try my best to stay invisible like I always do. They will realize that I am not somebody that they can mess with anymore once they see that I have friends who will do anything to protect me and to teach me to protect myself. No more hiding from bullies.

Once I am healed up, I am going to start defending myself and showing them that NOBODY can push Daniel Murillo around. From now on I am going to show everyone how much they should regret ever beating or bullying me. George was happy, he told me in the car it was something that he was worried about now that they had intervened and reduced the opportunities for the bullies to get to me. He said for the lessons where no one is with me then he’s going to meet me outside of the classroom and either walk me to the next one or walk with me to meet up with the others during our breaks or our lunch time. “Let’s make today the best day of school for Danny boy ever,” Dylan cheers as we walk through the school gates.

Mom is going to be so happy when I go home later on. She already encouraged me to hang out with the guys after school so long as my pain wasn’t flaring up too badly. I am sure I could ask George to take me home if we agreed it was too much for me. I just want to feel like I am a normal teenager for once instead of all this running from bullies and what not. George and Dylan still walk with Jordon and I to our first lesson of the day where I see Aron for the first time. He wasn’t invited to the hang out yesterday because George had forewarned me that he was more than likely going to be jealous of me because I am currently more popular with the group because I am new, and they all feel sorry for me. It was not meant in a nasty way either, but I can understand where he is coming from.

From what they have all told me about Aron is that he is very narcissistic and self-centered, so he is going to think that everyone he ever meets is less important than him and I am no exception to that. I am not going to let it bother me because I know that he is going to get over it eventually and he might end up liking me. Then again, I am not going to feel any different if he suddenly decides that he is just going to straight up hate me. It was something that I was not particularly concerned with. I have people who actually give a shit about me and I would be lying to myself if I said there wasn’t part of me that wanted to take a little bit of advantage of this. Who wouldn’t if they went from 0 friends to 5 in the space of 72 hours roughly?

Aron glares at me but he doesn’t say or do anything because he knows the guys will jump to defend me even if they have known him for longer. There is no good reason for his shitty behavior so it’s not going to be tolerated. He didn’t say anything and also didn’t do anything other than glare at me which I responded to with a poker face. I am too used to people glaring at me at this point, so I have stopped reacting to it. They won’t win the satisfaction of seeing me afraid that easily. Also today is a day where I have all the lessons with Jordon which is a bonus because then I don’t have to worry about the other potential bullies. The teacher didn’t even question when I walked in a little more confidently than usual and sat in the empty seat next to Jordon.

From what mom has told me after numerous phone calls to the school since I have started at this high school is that the teachers really want to make a change and try and prevent and punish those who bully me but it is difficult when they don’t see it happening and it ends up being the my words vs theirs deal and then the bullies parents try and muscle in too. Our first lesson is one of those where we discuss topics that effect our teenage lives and how we can overcome issues in society. From what I can remember bullying has not been a topic that has been brought up yet. However, due to the teachers being informed of the assault on Friday and being asked to report all those who speak of bullying me in the past to the headmaster I have a feeling that’s what todays lesson is going to be focusing on.

“In this class we have spoken about honesty before. Therefore, I would like to ask anyone who has bullied another person before to put their hands up,” she says, and everyone was looking around to see who would do it first. I know most of those who have bullied me are in this class. I could point at every single one of them. It’s not everyone in our grade, but it’s more than enough of a chunk of them. Eventually after a few minutes and them looking a little bit guilty in my direction some of the bullies put their hands up. “That’s good, but I know there is more than this in this classroom,” the teacher says, and eventually the rest did put their hands up too. Some of the more unaware people in the class were shocked there were this many.

“Right, that’s all of you. Now I want to talk to everyone about why bullying is wrong and hope that you realize that there will be consequences to your actions,” she says, and Jordon smiles at me. He knows that all of the people who put their hands up have bullied me at least once. He asked me while we were waiting, and I told him the truth like I always have done. I also told him that I was not expecting them to all come up to me at some point and apologize either if they didn’t want to. I know that is what most people will expect them to do. However sorry isn’t going to take away all the nightmares that they have given me from past trauma and it’s not going to make the pain I feel from my current injures any better. Sorry isn’t going to change the fact that they might still hate my guts.

I know that will sound really petty from me. I don’t care really; I am done with all of these empty apologies when I know they will just either attack me either physically or verbally as soon as the opportunity presents itself. The lesson went as well as it could have gone if I were honest. I feel like in most places bullying doesn’t become an issue until someone brings it up and then it explodes then it is a massive problem and teachers are scrambling to take control of the situation. There were a couple and I accepted them, but I will believe they mean it when I see that they have stopped attempting to bully me. I didn’t want to give them the wrong idea either if I were rude and refused their apologies because it wouldn’t be something I would do.

Mom prides herself on my ability to see the good in people and try and given them another chance to prove themselves to me. A lot of the bullies I have already given a second chance to and they bullied me again, so I am not going to bother with them. There are some in the classes though that I would give a second chance to. I stay close to Jordon as we move from that lesson to our next one because I am still nervous about someone trying to beat me up again. Jordon didn’t seem to mind too much that I was sticking to him like glue. He probably had a chat with George last night that involved if you’re in a class with Danny then protect him or something along those lines. I sat next to Jordon again and paid attention to the teacher as much as I could.

I think I might have bumped into someone by accident when I was walking to this lesson because my ribs started hurting a bit more and I know it was not time to take more medication yet. I have another hour to wait before then and I think if I keep taking them every four hours then I am going to be fine. “Are you okay Dan?” Jordon whispers. The teacher wasn’t paying attention to the conversations in the class because he was marking our tests we had just finished. “Yeah, my ribs are starting to hurt again that’s all,” I whisper back. I didn’t want to draw too much attention to myself because of it though, I know I will be fine. After this lesson it is break time and time to take more pain killers to help me through till after school.

I seem to remember the schedule going like homeroom then 2 lessons then a break. After the break there were another 2 lessons then lunch. After lunch there was another 2 lessons then it was home time. I don’t know if I mentioned it before though because my actual memory of them was blurred because I had been focusing so much on when it was going to be home time. Jordon had my schedule out again and was matching it with his to make sure that he had it right. I was watching what he was doing to distract myself from the pain somewhat. The teacher was a little surprised that everyone is getting along so well, and no one is calling him because I was being hit or anything like that. I was happy to be sitting next to Jordon and just getting on with work like I usually do.

About 5 minutes before the end of the lesson the teacher announces our grades from the test we had just done. Both Jordon and I had gotten A which was a first for both of us. We hadn’t even look at each other’s papers once the entire time. “George is gonna be so impressed,” Jordon tells me, as we make our way to meet up with them. “George isn’t the only one who is gonna be impressed,” I tell him, I know my mom will be so happy and so will the rest of the guys. I can’t believe I actually managed to get an A on a test, then again this was the first test where I could actually concentrate on the questions I had been given. Now I can finally prove to everyone how smart I really am. Although right now I am a little distracted by the pain.

George noticed as soon as we got there because he guided me to the seat he was just sitting at and told me to take the Tylenol and to eat my snack while Jordon filled him in on what we had been up to this morning so far. When he got to our test results, he had a big pause before he revealed that we had both gotten an A. It was pretty interesting to see that all of their jaws dropped. I think Jordon’s had bad grades in the past, especially after the teacher said, “Maybe letting you two sit together will be good after all.” It was very weird. Then again, I never really paid attention to the comments from the teachers. “That’s incredible both of you,” George says. I smiled and I felt really good about myself and what I have achieved.

“Yeah, I already knew Danny was a smart one, but I was not expecting to get that kind of grade,” Jordon says. I believe it was a math’s test and maths was never my strong suit, especially addition. I look at him with a smile. “I knew you could do it, you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for,” I tell him. There was something about this friendship that gave me more confidence then I had ever had before now. I’ve only really known Jordon for less than 24 hours and I am complimenting him like I have known him my whole life. “Danny’s right you know, all of you are smarter than you think you are. You just need to believe in yourselves more,” George tells me. It’s true, they don’t have much faith in their academic abilities. I don’t either to be honest.

Years of being told you’re not good enough or smart enough takes its toll on your mental health, especially your self-confidence. It’s going to take a long time before I start fully believing it when they tell me that I am smart. They don’t need to know that though, I am still proud of the grade I got today. The rest of the school day wasn’t as exciting though. We didn’t have any more tests and I almost got bullied for not participating in gym, but the teacher told them off. It wasn’t my fault that the ER doctor made a note because he didn’t agree with me doing any sort of physical exercise while my ribs are still healing. I would have taken my shirt off, exposing the dark purple bruises around my chest to prove a point but it wasn’t worth it.

The teacher believed my note anyways. I had also gotten permission to eat the snack Jordon had given me and take more pain killers during that lesson because I was due to take some more. It will allow me to spend a little bit of time with the guys at the skate park after school and then I will go home and tell mom that I have finally had a good day in school, and I got an A in my test. This will be her dream come true as all she ever wanted was me to be happy. I am still pretty nervous about being hurt again, but I know that as long as I am with the five guys then I am going to be safe. George and the others were waiting for us when we got out of our final lesson a little late. Apparently, all teachers have been encouraged to start clamping down on bullying now.

Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly happy that they are finally acting on what’s been going on for the last few years. Part of me is just feeling that it it’s a little bit late. They have already gotten away with it for so long. George wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and I look up at him with a smile. “Just let me know if this is too much for you and I’ll take you home,” he whispers to me. The others were walking just a little bit ahead of us and had already met up with Jorel and Matt. “I know, I think I’ll be alright,” I whisper back, part me of me is wondering if I am pushing things too far too soon. Then I am thinking about how I finally get to be a normal teenager for once and I want to enjoy it. I think George would tell me off if I did push myself too far.

Both Matt and Jorel seemed really excited to have me around again. They both hugged me as tightly as they wanted to, and I hugged them back. “George, how come it feels like we’ve known Danny for longer than a day or two?” Matt asks, we were all sitting down to chat before a few use the skate park. I had lost track of how long it has been already. I know I met George on Friday and got everyone’s numbers on Saturday. “This is what happens when a friendship works from the moment you meet them. It just means that the friendship is meant to be,” George explains. It makes sense, even though Friday was the weirdest day of my life I don’t regret a single thing about it because it led me to 5 amazing friendships that I wouldn’t have had.

I managed to last about three hours with the guys before I felt that it was too much, and I asked George to take me home. They were all fine with it and said they were proud of me for what I had managed to achieve today. “How was your day my love?” mom asks me when I walk in. I couldn’t wait to tell her how much of a good day I have had. “It was really good, I got an A in my test and no bullying whatsoever,” I tell her. She hugged me and I could tell that it had just made her so happy. She won’t admit it, but she was worried about me today. “That’s brilliant, I bet this is the first of many awesome school days,” she tells me. For the first time in a long while I now genuinely think that she is right, and I am going to have many more awesome school days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_3 weeks later- Danny p.o.v_ **

George has asked me to go spend the day with him. He’s not said what we’re going to be doing, but I am not worried about things like that anymore. The last three weeks have been the best. I have not been bullied whatsoever and finally all my grades are going up. I’ve been surprised and able to deal with that without being terrified. Mom was doing my hair because he had told me to dress sort of smart but casually and I was anxious about my hair because it’s usually pretty messy and I don’t put much effort into it. She also knows that I have developed some romantic feelings for George, and I have been too scared to admit anything to him. We’ve been getting along really well and are often up late at night talking to each other over texts.

“Don’t worry I am sure everything will go well with George and who knows he might make the moves first,” she tells me. I trust her, she has been watching George and I interact with each other while we have been here at home hanging out with each other. A mother knows more than you think they do. You could sneak around behind her back and boom she knows without even catching you doing it. She’s been watching us for a while now and seeing how we look at each other and I think she thinks it’s in a more than friendly way between both of us. “I know but I am really nervous,” I tell her. Just because I think there might be something more between us doesn’t mean that George is going to see it the same way. Mum puts some hair gel in, and I just sit as still as possible.

George was going to be picking me up and I was slowly starting to become more nervous as he texted me to say he was outside. Mum rubs my shoulders was she was done with my hair. “Take a deep breath. You’ll be just fine,” she tells me. We’ve gotten to the point where I am comfortable texting George, he is fine to walk in if he wants to which he did just after mom started and finished her little pep talk to me. He smiles at my mom and I went to go and grab my phone and wallet from my room while they talk to each other for a minute or so. It’s nice to know that mom approves if we do decide to become boyfriends. I know some parents want the boys to date girls because they think that gay people are not able to have babies.

They can’t have them in the normal when a mommy and daddy love each other very much way but there is such thing as surrogacy and adoption in the future. That is if both people in the relationship want children though. I am so anxious I think my mind is rambling through random stuff way too quickly. I am not even in a relationship yet. I walk back into the living room and George hugs me. “Now you two stay safe and have fun okay?” mom says, and she smiles at us. George knows what we are going to be doing, I still don’t know. “We will Margo don’t you worry,” George tells her. In the beginning all of them would call my mom Miss Murillo but now they call her Margo because she said she preferred that to Miss Murillo or Danny’s mom.

“We will mom,” I tell her, then she kisses the top of my head before we leave. I am starting to feel a little less nervous as we walk to the car, but I was still unsure of where we were going or what we are going to be doing today. “Your mom told me that you’re a little nervous about today, don’t worry. I hadn’t planned things out until I was on my way here which is why I hadn’t told you yet. We’re going to head to a sandwich shop, then a donut shop and then go to Venice beach for the day,” he tells me. That sounds like a good plan to me. A beach style picnic is just a nice relaxing time and I haven’t been to Venice for a long time. “That sounds amazing,” I tell him. I would consider myself to be quite low maintenance if I am honest. I don’t need a lot to be happy.

“That’s good Dan. I’m glad you like it. I know things have been rough lately and I just want to do whatever I can to make you happy and have a good day. That also means you’re not paying for anything,” he tells me. We’re on our way to the sandwich place first. I guess that is easier that way because then I will choose the sandwich fillings and donuts, I know I will like and all he has to do is pay for it. I am not sure I 100% agree with him paying for absolutely everything though. What if there was a gift I saw, and I wanted to get it for him? I will find a way round it probably because George deserves something nice. He saved my life that night and has improved my school life as well. This is something that I never expected a complete stranger to do for me.

“Okay but if I see something which I think is a cool gift for you I am buying it,” I tell him, and he chuckles. I can be quite stubborn when I need to be. I think I won that compromise too because he nodded after he’d finished chuckling. “I suppose I can accept that. Your mom has been going on about how both of you have been wanting to repay me for everything,” he tells me, and I nodded. It was something mom told me three weeks ago when I was at home after he rescued me that it was something, she wanted to pay him back for. I think back to that night and get shivers down my spine. I could have easily died that night because of my injuries but George was there, and he patched me up as best as he could, and the ER helped too.

“Yeah, because you are literally like the angel who swopped in and saved me from the darkness,” I tell him. My thoughts are a little bit all over the place I am still quite nervous about today. I even made him a little embarrassed it looked like cause his cheeks went red as we got to the sandwich shop. Getting the food was pretty boring really. George paid for it all like he told me he was going to, and we got some weird smiles from some of the little old ladies that were in sitting and eating in. I don’t know if it was just me over thinking the situation again or not. “Right donuts then the beach,” he tells me. We’re still about a good half an hour or so drive from the beach, I think. I never paid attention to how long journeys took when I was growing up.

The donut place wasn’t that interesting to me either. The only thing that was mildly interesting was that we got a mystery box of donuts as well as the two we wanted. There was no one here to give us weird looks luckily. I definitely think I have developed anxiety, so I am always nervous when people start staring at me and I think it is because they want to jump me. George had his arm around me, and I held the donuts as we left the shop. “Right to the beach so we can devour our lovely lunch,” he told me. He had asked me the night before what drinks I like and bought those from Walmart on his way to my house this morning and kept them in a little lunch bag with some ice packs in them. Mom was very impressed by how prepared he is all the time.

“Yeah let’s go,” I tell him. I had a little bag with some swim trunks and a towel in case that was something we were going to be doing. I was honest with him though and I told him that I wasn’t one hundred percent sure if I felt confident enough to go and mess around in the water today and he told me it was fine. He wants us to have a fun and relaxing time anyway, so it wasn’t something he was that bothered about. It’s not like we’re on a date or something where there are set expectations. It is just two teen boys on a day out to have some fun together. Soon we’re at the beach although on the way George had asked if I wanted to walk on the boardwalk later on and I said sure. I wasn’t even sure what we were going to be doing until he picked me up.

“Let’s go find a nice little quiet spot where there’s not many people around. I don’t know about you but the last thing I need is either a seagull or a seagull disguised as a small human stealing our donuts,” he tells me, and I laugh. He’s got a fair point though; seagulls are known to be a pain in the ass on beaches when it comes to stealing people’s food and toddlers and small children are literally the same. Well that is what my uncle always told me about toddlers. I grew up without my two brothers around because of how much older they were from me, so I was technically an only child. It didn’t bother me though because I see them every now and then. “Definitely,” I tell him, then we narrowly avoid tripping over a toddler who was in the middle of a tantrum on the floor.

“You gotta watch out for them floor seagulls, they are the loudest but also the most dangerous. You can hear them but not always see them unless you watch the floor if not then bam you’re on the floor and the food is gone because they suddenly stop and devour the food quicker than you can get up,” he tells me, I saw the mother in the corner of my eye so I had to stifle my laughter. Then again, she wasn’t really paying attention to her screaming child, I think she was making them cry it out because it was probably over a stupid reason like the mom wouldn’t buy them an ice cream or something. When we were out of earshot, we both started laughing. I had never heard toddlers being compared with seagulls before, but it made a lot of sense.

We spent about 5 minutes looking for a really good spot for our little picnic lunch and we found the perfect spot. There was a bit of natural shade and even though there were some people around we had a good bit of privacy. “I hereby declare this spot to be ours,” George says, and I just shake my head and chuckle. I like seeing the less serious side of George. It was nice for him to have just some fun instead of watching over 5 slightly younger men. I put the blanket down and sat down while George was putting rocks around the edges. That way if I do feel like going into the water with him then we could feel safe about our blanket being there and not blowing away in the wind. “Let’s eat,” I tell him. It was lunchtime by now and I was definitely hungry.

Lunch was really good; we even tore off a chunk of our sandwiches for the other one to try. I didn’t really like George’s choices, but I tried it anyway. It was pretty funny for him to see my reaction. The best part was definitely the donuts. We opened the mystery box first because we wanted to be a bit more adventurous. “Oh by the way, we probably won’t be able to eat all of these or might not like them all so you can take them home with you and your mom can have some,” he tells me because I think we both knew the 14 donuts we have might be a bit too much for us. Especially considering our sandwiches were pretty big too. “You sure? You bought them after all” I ask him, I feel like he should take them home instead.

“Yeah, your mom is amazing, and I think you know that she deserves a little treat,” he tells me. I do think about it for a minute. Mom has been working really hard and been raising me on her own for the last 15 years and I want to give her something to show how much I appreciate everything that she has done for me. Yeah donuts won’t last as long as an expensive meaningful gift, but the thought and the love is still there. “That’s true I think she does deserve something nice. She’s been working more lately and hasn’t had any spare money for donuts or something to treat herself,” I tell him. I would like to spend more time with my mom, but I understand why she has been working so hard lately. Those bills aren’t going to pay themselves.

George had decided after a little while that he was going to go to the water and swim for a bit and asked if I wanted to join him. I was still a little unsure and decided to stay where I was. He didn’t mind it and took his shirt off. He already had his trunks on, and I was liking the view I was getting for sure. It definitely confirmed the thought I had that I like boys romantically and not girls. I tried to date a girl called Theresa, but it didn’t work out and it was then that I realized it might be gay. I even came out to my mom after I had thought about it and she was supportive. It was probably one of the reasons why I have been bullied so much but it never occurred to me until now. I was blushing as soon as George turned away from me to start running to the water.

If I ever needed confirmation that I have a massive crush on George now was the moment. Like oh my god is he hot as heck. I don’t think he would feel the same way though. I know that a girl called Asia has been trying to get his attention for weeks now. Jorel told me they did go out at one point, but they broke up and she’s been desperate to get back with him, but he’s said no once and just kept ignoring her from then onwards. Just because I knew that was a fact doesn’t mean that George is looking for men, he just doesn’t want to get back with her. I keep debating in my head whether or not I should join George in the water. I end up just staying on the towel watching him swim. He even told me he has two outfits in his bag to try and encourage me.

After a while he came and sat next to me. “Are you okay? I haven’t ruined things, have I?” George asks me, and I hug him. “I’m fine, I was enjoying watching you swim. I just don’t feel like I am in the mood for swimming today that’s all,” I tell him. He hugs me back and I didn’t care about him getting me slightly damp. I felt a little bad that I had somehow worried or upset him. “That’s okay, I was just nervous about today that’s all,” he tells me. Nervous? Why on earth would George be nervous? He is like the king of being calm, cool, and collected. We keep hugging each other for a few more minutes. I don’t want him to be nervous, he has no reason to be nervous that I could think of off the top of my head. I’m having a great time.

“Why would you be nervous? I’m having a great time being here with you,” I tell him. I was being honest with him. I don’t think this day could have gone any better so far. I get to spend time with an amazing guy while we eat lunch on a beach and then I watch as he goes for a swim. “I’m glad, but there was something that I had been meaning to ask you,” he tells me. Now I am curious to find out what he wants to ask me. I think the silence was making him slightly more nervous than he was before he mentioned that he has something to ask me. “You know you can ask me anything right? I won’t judge,” I tell him. He would know by now that I am one of the least judgmental people in our group. After everything they have done for me it is the least, I can do.

“I know. You know that feeling when you are about to ask someone something big but then you’re like he’s never going to agree to that? That’s how I feel right now,” he tells me. It makes perfect sense to me; anyone can get nervous like that. I remember Dylan telling me about it because he wanted to ask a girl to the dance with him and he was so scared of her saying no. He never told me how that story ended though, I think he was too high to tell me that part. “Yeah, but you know anything you have to say won’t change how I feel about you,” I tell him. I want him to ask me whatever it is he wants to without worrying about whatever my reaction might be to it. Like 3 weeks ago I had just gained 5 friends I am not about to throw that all away.

“Okay, well I recently discovered that I am gay and that I have romantic feelings for someone. That someone is you,” he tells me. He took a lot of pauses to think about how he was going to word it and I might have creeped him out by smiling. At least I know that my feelings for him are not one sided as I was worried about. I suppose I have to think about how I am going to reply to that before he gets worried, he’s scared me off again. “Well, I suppose it might be cheesy but about a couple of weeks after you found me, I developed feelings for you. I am happy they are not one sided though,” I tell him. I could have said it a lot better, but I wanted to say something before I worried him even further. We had stopped hugging once he said he had something to ask me.

He sighed in relief before hugging me again quite tightly and I hugged him back. “I’m so happy. So, I guess the follow up question is.. will you be my boyfriend?” he asks me. It feels like the best day that I could have hoped for. Everything is going amazingly well in my life and I have no idea why or how I have deserved this. “Of course, I’ll be your boyfriend,” I tell him. Monday morning is going to be interesting unless the rest of the guys find out before then. Everyone but Aron will be happy for us. Then again I have never cared about what Aron thought about me so if he showed disgust towards us I wouldn’t even notice. “You have made me so happy,” George tells me. I could get even cheesier and say that he is my knight in shining armor.

“You’ve made me so happy too,” I tell him. He decides that he wants to go back into the water for a little longer before we move on to the boardwalk and then possibly go and have some dinner before he drops me off back home. Mom never gave me a curfew; all she wants to know is where I am going and what time roughly I am going to be back. That way if I am late home or don’t turn up when I am supposed to then she will know where to look. I can now say I am watching my hot boyfriend swim in the sea. I still don’t want to swim today but I am sure next time we go on a beach date that I will join him. I will be more confident with my body by then maybe. I am not one hundred percent sure just yet though; a lot of things could change between now and then.

He scooped me up when he was done and acted like he was about to dump me into the sea. I thought he was going to do something like this but then he turned and ran back and dumped me on the blanket we had. “Would you have dumped me in the water?” I ask him, as he grabs his towel and starts drying himself off. I had grabbed one of his spare t-shirts and changed into it because I was considerably damper than earlier. “Yeah I would have. Then I remembered you said you didn’t want to go into the water so I thought that it would be mean of me,” he tells me. That’s very considerate to be fair, I don’t think I would have been angry with him if he had carried it out though. We’d just have less time to do stuff because we’d both be getting changed.

“I wouldn’t have been angry if you had done it, but thank you for considering it,” I tell him, trying hard to not bite my lip into non-existence as he changes in front of me. he’s just so freaking hot and sexy and then there is me, the little gay guy who is as thin as a twig and has no muscle definition whatsoever. “Right let’s go on the boardwalk and see what we can find. Maybe we can find somewhere nice to eat dinner,” he tells me, then gently pulls me to my feet. I am still happy to be with my boyfriend and I am still having a good time. It feels amazing and weird at the same time to say that George is my boyfriend, we’re not just best friends anymore. Got to stop before the musical kid in me starts singing There! Right There! from the Legally Blonde musical.

“What are you thinking about with that cheeky smirk on your face?” George asks, we have just walked and put the rubbish from lunch in the trash can and we are heading back to his car to dump our beach stuff before we go on a walk. “Oh, just how funny it would be if we announced our relationship to the others with the song There! Right There! from the Legally Blonde musical,” I tell him. I give him a minute for it to sink in, he has heard that song before. We’ve all heard it before; I just tend to get it stuck into my head more than the others. “That would be pretty funny not gonna lie. Especially because Asia keeps trying to get back with me. I can imagine you going it’s me not her he’s seeing,” he tells me, and I crack up laughing.

There’s another line which I also find equally funny if not funnier. There is the bit towards the end where the guy is like “I’m straight,” and the other guy is all like “You were not yesterday” and considering today is Sunday it would totally work in our favor. We both know we cannot go through a whole school day without them finding out. I whisper those lines into George’s ear, and he cracks up laughing. We’re both dorks but at the end of the day we love each other a lot and that is all that matters to me. “Yeah we’re totally going to use that to come out to the guys if they don’t figure it out by tomorrow after school,” he tells me. I think I would give it away though if Asia did the bend and snap to try and get George’s attention.

“Yeah, let’s just hope for both our sakes Asia doesn’t bend and snap in front of you tomorrow,” I tell him. We both look at each other and groan. We are about to go onto the boardwalk but stopped because we had just dumped our stuff and we were laughing too hard. “I hate the bend and snap, the easiest way to tell a guy is gay is to do that in front of them. Straight men melt to the floor and the gays are like yeah whatever,” he tells me. It is like a slutty version of the gaydar in my opinion, like why else would someone do that if they didn’t want a man in their trousers? The correct answer is no one. “I could just imagine the looks on Dylan and Jordon’s faces as she does the bend and snap and you just look, but don’t respond and keep talking to me the whole time,” I tell him.

“Yeah I could just picture them with the cogs turning in their heads as they try and work things out on their own and then like ohhh so your boyfriends now cool,” he tells me. He was right on that; they would take a while to figure it out and then as soon as they realize what is going on then they are gonna be like yeah cool. I think Jorel is going to have the I knew it reaction out of all of them. He’s like that one who is like oh yeah I totally knew this whole time even if he is just bluffing because we didn’t know ourselves until like an hour ago. Well, by the time they find it we hope it’s been 24 hours since we found out ourselves. These things can be unpredictable though. He slips his hand into mine now that we have finally calmed down from our laughing outburst.

It just felt so right to be holding his hand while we walk on the boardwalk. Yeah people were giving us strange looks, but I was already used to that and I was trying to do my best to ignore them like I had being doing in high school. People are going to have some level of disapproval for gay relationships no matter what you do or where you go in life. For those people it’s been too hardwired into their brain for them to be able to educate themselves on why being gay actually isn’t a crime anymore. “Still thinking about how funny it would be?” George asks me, we have been walking for a few minutes and I was taking in the scenery just not talking about it. I think we were looking for an ice cream shop to have a snack in before we think about dinner later.

“Yeah, the look on some of their faces will be really funny” I tell him. The look on Asia’s face will be the most interesting in my opinion. She’s still convincing herself that George is going to be asking her back out any day now. She is going to be so disappointed when she finds out that he is taken now. “Yeah, but even if people hate on us I will never let you be bullied again,” he tells me. He promised that to me right from the start when dating wasn’t even a possibility and I know that I don’t even need to hold him to his word because he will make sure no one ever lays their hand on me to potentially cause me harm while he’s around. “I know you won’t because you’re my knight in shining armor,” I tell him. Someone said aww, but we weren’t sure if it was aimed at us or not.

“And you’re my prince destined to become king and I will be loyal to you until the end,” he tells me. It was cheesy but it fits our situation perfectly. He is my knight and I guess I am gonna be his king one day. If we ever get married and don’t mention this in our vows I think some people will get very angry with us. We found a shop that sells little tubs of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream which I think is a perfect snack on a hot Los Angeles afternoon. I had gone red at his comment about how I am his prince, and I was a little bit warm. “How about we get some ice cream and sit on a bench for a bit?” I ask him. It was his idea, but he also wanted my say in how some of the things were going to go, so he could make sure I was happy with the whole day.

“Yeah that sounds like a good idea,” he replies and it’s exactly what we do. I tell him what I want while I go and find a nice bench in an area where actual seagulls won’t attack us, and the toddler seagulls won’t either for that matter. There was a few benches with some graffiti on them that I know that the parents won’t let their toddlers go near so it was perfect for us. A minute or so later George walks over with the two pots of ice cream in his hands. “Nice choice of spot there Dan,” he tells me, as he sits next to me and hands me my little pot of cookie dough ice cream. I think he got the brownie one. “Yeah, and thanks for the ice cream,” I tell him. He taps his tub next to mine as a cheers moment and his way of saying you’re welcome.

When we had just finished our ice cream we watched as a young kid’s ice cream was knocked out of her hand by a bully while her mom wasn’t paying attention. I feel like I have to do something because I have been in her position and I have to show her that not everyone is shitty and out to ruin her day. “I’ll be back in a minute,” I tell George, I had looked into my wallet and found enough money to buy her a new ice cream and maybe to treat herself. I go up to the child and make sure that I am eye level with her, and I want to gently get her attention. She’s already upset, and I don’t want to either make it worse or make her mom start yelling at us. “Hey, I’m saw what happened to you and I’m sorry,” I tell the kid who looks at me.

She was still on the verge of tears, but I managed to provide a little bit of comfort. “They’re my older brother’s friends, but they are always mean to me. Mom never pays attention when it happens,” she tells me. I still feel sorry for her though, I might not relate to her specific situation as even though I have two older brothers I never grew up with them around because my mom and dad split before I was born and they were both old enough to choose which parent they wanted to live with and they chose our dad who has decided to never contact me. “I have an idea to make things better. Why don’t I buy you a replacement ice cream and you can sit with me while you eat it, so it won’t get knocked over again?” I ask her, and she looked at me with shock.

Yeah, I get that it is really weird for a stranger to do this. However, in the back of my mind I am like younger me would have someone around like George to provide that little bit of faith in humanity I was losing because of how I was being treated. “That would be great,” she says, and I smile as she perked up and wasn’t about to cry any time soon. I went through with my plan as my boyfriend sat from a far watching me with a proud smile on his face. I am paying forward the amount of kindness he has shown me and maybe one day this little girl is going to do the same. The older brother and his friends stay well away this time. When she was done she thanked me and we both went our separate ways. I hug George when I get back to him.

“Well done Danny, I am very proud of you. That was just so kind and compassionate,” he tells me. I was just grinning because I was buzzing on the positive energy around me. It’s the first time in a long time I had the confidence to see a problem I could solve by myself and just go and do it and the little girl was happy at the end. As we walked away we heard her excitedly tell her mom about how I had made everything better after her brother Brad and his friends knocked the ice cream onto the floor. The mom had told the brother off this time saying that once they got home he was grounded for the next week because she was tired of his behavior. She also saw George and I walking and personally thanked me for showing her boys how it should be done.

Now we are just going to continue walking around the boardwalk to see what else we can get up to. This date is going really well. I am going to call it a date because that is what it is. Even on Friday when Jorel had asked us what our weekend plans was he mentioned that it is basically a date between George and I. The funny thing was no one said anything bad about it and George never denied it either. I just thought it was a friendship date until he asked me to be his boyfriend. Although thinking about it a little harder, friends don’t go on dates. They just have days out, which could have been a sign for me that he was going to ask me out. I guess I didn’t think about it hard enough because I was too busy enjoying the time with my friends.

“Did Jay text you too?” George asks me. I had been ignoring my phone up until I heard his ping to let him know he had a text. I did have a text, but it was from my mom asking if I was okay and I told her I was fine. “No, I got one from my mom to check up on me. What does he want?” I ask him. I was just curious as to what Jorel wanted to know. George didn’t have to tell me if he didn’t want to though I was being a little bit nosey. “He wanted to know if we had gotten together as boyfriends yet, do you want me to tell him or make him wait till tomorrow?” he asks me. Now I get to think about if I am going to be nice or make him wait just a little bit longer. Jorel already suspects we are together, and it won’t make a difference to him if he knew already or not.

“He can wait until tomorrow. He probably already knows the answer by now and just wants confirmation and we don’t want him to spoil it for the others,” I tell him. If they want to know then we will tell them when we hang out with each other the next afternoon because he won’t see us in school, but he will see Matt. “Good point, I don’t think he would spoil but it would be disappointing if he did because it would be nicer for us to either have the funny musical reference or just tell them outright ourselves,” he tells me. He tells Jorel no and that he was having a nice time with me as friends and we’d see him tomorrow afternoon as normal. “You’re such a tease George,” I tell him once he had shown me what he was sending.

“I know, but I want it to be something we tell together. Like I bet your mom has figured it out by now like mine has because it’s just that weird sense built into them, but it would be nice for them to hear us say mom I have a boyfriend,” he tells me. I know my mom would be so excited when I got home tonight and told her George, and I are dating. I am sure his mom will feel the same way because she has been so nice to me from the moment, we met each other. I knew they weren’t going to be homophobic because the first night after I met George and he saved me we ended up falling asleep together and when we woke up the next morning we were cuddling each other and my mom was already over and had seen it herself.

“Do you think our moms have taken a bet on when we will be dating each other?” George asks, completely out of the blue when we had been walking for a little while. I had almost stopped so he would have fallen over but I kept walking. “Knowing that mothers have that crazy ass feeling that they know what you get up to when you don’t think they know most definitely,” I tell him. They have been best friends for as long as I could remember which surprised me since George and I have never actually met each other until this year. Then again, they probably had child free meet ups which is why our meet up never happened. “Oh yeah they definitely would, can’t wait till we tell them and what their reactions will be,” he replies.

“I think it will be oh that’s great honey and you detect sad undertones then you know your mom lost the bet. Or like she goes to another room and you hear her say damn it I lost the bet,” I tell him. If they did bet though I have no idea how much either one would bet or if they would have the same idea on when they think we are going to get together. All we know is that they both would have spoken about us being gay and having crushes on each other. “Yeah I think my mom will be straight on the phone to yours like did you hear that George and Danny have gotten together? Then she will either say you owe me x amount of dollars or that she owes your mom x amount of dollars,” he tells me, and I just shake my head. Our moms definitely would do stuff like this.

Then again George and I have also inherited that from them. I made a joke one night about us making a bet on how long it would take for Jordon and Matt to become boyfriends. To my surprise George actually gave me an answer. He said that they would get together between 6 months to a year of another member of the group getting a partner. Now I know he was talking about us getting together. I responded with my guess of about 2 weeks of another member getting a partner, but we never actually put any money on it which has given me an idea. “Speaking of people making bets on other people behind their backs. Do you wanna take our little bet seriously now that we’re together?” I ask him. I was also considering the fact that they might be together and not come out to us yet.

George was thinking about it as we keep walking along the boardwalk. I hadn’t seen anywhere which caught my eye as a good place to have dinner, but we never said we had to have dinner on the boardwalk. We could easily go somewhere else. “Yeah that would be a good idea and I definitely think they would get together after they find out we are,” George tells me. Now all we have to do is to make our final decision and put some money on it. I am still having a mini mental debate between if they were together already or if they had yet to get with each other and knowing that being gay is a cool thing will make them take that leap.

“I bet twenty dollars that they will be together or tell us they are together two months after they find out about us,” George tells me. That is a fairly good prediction to be fair. I still need to make up my mind, but I was thinking about putting the same amount of money towards it. “Yeah that’s good but I think it’s gonna be two weeks after they find out about us being a couple and I also bet twenty dollars,” I tell him. Now we just have to wait and see who will win. I think it’s gonna be whoever’s the closest because we’re not really that pedantic about it. If it is within 2 weeks, then I when if it is any time over two weeks then George wins but if it is over two months then we both lose. “Agreed and we’re not gonna be pedantic over it either so you know what that means,” he tells me.

“Yep two weeks and under it goes to me over two weeks and under two months it goes to you. Over two months then we both lose, and we keep our own money,” I tell him, and he nods. It feels good to be able to come to an agreement with each other so easily and without any disagreements we’re just like yeah this is our not so serious serious bet. I am still curious as to whether or not the boys we have just bet on are together already, but they haven’t set off my gaydar yet which I don’t want to brag about, but I have a 98% success rate with it. The only people I had no idea they were gay was one of my neighbors before we moved here and George. I always accept my failures because in my eyes it’s more of a pleasant surprise.

“Is it just me or are all the eating options open today rubbish?” George asks me. We have now been up and down the entire boardwalk twice looking for somewhere to have our dinner before our date ends because as much as I would love to stay out all night with him, we have school in the morning. “Nah it’s not just you. The options tonight are just not it,” I tell him. I was also worried about him spending too much money on me. I had found a cute store and got both him and mom a gift when he was elsewhere. I am the type of guy who would be perfectly content with a dinner date at maccies just as long as I was with the person I loved. “Well, let’s go somewhere else. See if we can find a Taco Bell or something like that,” he tells me.

“Yeah, maybe we’ll have better luck there,” I tell him. I know Taco Bell is one of Jordon’s favorites. I’ve personally never had it before. My mom isn’t totally broke, but we don’t have a lot of income spare that we can use for things like frequent takeaways and junk food meals out. She just about has enough income to give me the little bit of money that she does each month, but she says that comes out of the child support she gets from my dad. It’s the only thing he does for me. He has never bothered visiting me or sending me anything. “Are you okay Danny? You’ve gone a bit quiet,” George asks, we’re still looking for somewhere to have some dinner before we decide to either go somewhere else or call it a night and say see you tomorrow.

“Yeah I’m fine,” I tell him. I’ve already burdened him enough with all the bullying problems. I don’t need to give him something else that he feels as if he has to help me with. He’d probably speak to Dylan who boast he has rich parents to get them to give my mom some money, but that’s not the way mom and I tend to do things. We just make the best out of the situations we have been given. “Okay, if you want to talk to me about anything and I mean anything that bothers you just let me know,” he tells me. I try and keep my poker face, can’t let my worries ruin what has already been a perfect afternoon going into the evening. “Don’t worry George, you’ll either be the second or third person to know,” I tell him. He knows by now that I tell my mom pretty much everything that I worry about.

“That’s good to know. Let’s go to Taco Bell, you’ve not tried it yet and I think the worse thing about telling the guys that we are together would be if I told him we drove by a Taco bell and you never tried it,” he tells me. I am pretty sure that Jordon almost had kittens just knowing how very few fast food places I had been to. It is a fair enough reasoning behind the choice as well, better than spending the next hour going around looking for somewhere when we could just go and eat some tacos. “Good plan, I think he’d handle the thought of us dating better than the thought of me not eating Taco Bell,” I tell him. I know I was repeating what he said but in my own words, but sometimes it’s better to hear that the person you love feels the same way.

It’s also somewhat bizarre that the thought of us getting together would not disgust Jordon nearly as much as the thought that we drove past a Taco Bell restaurant and not gone to eat in it. George finds a place to park and tells me to find a nice quiet spot to go and sit so we won’t be seen by any of the guys before tomorrow. I know they know we are spending today together, but they don’t know we are boyfriends yet. He told me he was going to get me something from the menu he thinks I am gonna like. I am going to take his word for it because I have no idea what is even on the menu. I manage to find a corner booth out of the way where there wasn’t many people around. From the look of the advertisements around and the menu I briefly saw the food looks really good.

“Right I went for two crunchy taco supreme, some fries with nacho cheese sauce and some Pepsi,” George tells me. To be honest I don’t think I mind whatever he went for us. I have managed to have a look at the menu, and it all looked good to me. It also just occurred to me that George has paid the bill again and I am starting to get used to that idea. I am so used to worrying about stuff like that. “Thanks George,” I tell him. I think Jordon is going to have a new best friend tomorrow. This food is literally amazing, I think I will definitely be going to Taco Bell more often. “I take it that you’re enjoying the food then,” George says. I wasn’t quite shoveling it down my throat as quickly as possible, but I was definitely enjoying it. For the first time having something new it was good.

“Yeah, not something we usually could afford when I was growing up,” I tell him. I don’t want it to sound like I had another sob story to tell him after all of the stuff that has been going on with the bullying and him trying to get me to open up more with that. “Well, there is more of these dinners out where they come from now you know us. Don’t worry about money if that is ever an issue, one of us will be more than willing to pay for it,” he tells me. It already made me feel awkward that George has paid when I should have been the one paying, but it I will get used it eventually. The last two months have been a big shock and I finally feel like I can enjoy a normal teenage life. “Thanks George, I don’t want to rely on you guys too much though” I tell him.

“Don’t worry Danny, it’s not going to be all the time,” he replies. I knew that, but it still didn’t worry me any less at the moment. I don’t want rumors spreading around that I am only using them for the free food and the friendships. It is so easy for people to make that assumption. “I know, I just don’t want people thinking that is what’s going on that is all,” I tell him. I don’t really want to talk about it much more though because it is becoming the thing that is going to put a dampener on what has already been a fun day. “Fair enough Dan, that’s not going to happen, and we are going to enjoy the rest of our evening before I drop you off,” he tells me. I love that he made that decision, and we can just forget about all the money issues I briefly freaked out about.

“Right, I have one more surprise before I take you home,” George tells me. We had finished our dinner now and we were just cleaning up after ourselves. I know we could have just left our trays at the table and walked off, but we decided that we would at least help the staff out a little bit. “Okay,” I tell him, at the same time I am texting my mother to let her know where I am and give another rough estimate on when I am going to be home. She has not directly said it to me yet, but secretly I know that she is very worried about me. She has never been overprotective, but she has been cautious especially after the beating when I first met George. “Have you ever been to the Hollywood sign before?” George asks me. I had told him I was texting my mom.

“I don’t think so, if I have, I was probably too young to remember,” I tell him. I think I have managed to calm my mother’s nerves down a bit now. She would also probably know when the last time I went to the Hollywood sign. George seemed a bit surprised that I have no memories of that of thing, but he also knows that I have basically spent the last few years living as a recluse and not wanting to leave the apartment. “Well, it, won’t be a surprise to you that I am going to take you there. I tend to go in the evenings or early mornings, and you’ll see why,” he tells me. Everything about this date so far has been everything that I have hoped and dreamed about. Now I am feeling almost like I am on top of the world. This is the best day ever.

I also feel like I have finally been allowed to embrace who I truly am and do not feel like I must hide who I am in order to not get bullied anymore. Well, I will never truly feel open about it to everyone because the possibility of being bullied is always there but there are ones that I will feel like I can trust, and I will come out to. The more cautious I am about who I am going to come out to the less likely I am going to be bullied for it. I already have an idea on what my friendship group is going to say on it. I take George’s hand in mine as we walk up towards the Hollywood sign. I knew that we could get into trouble for it, but something in my brain told me that it was fine, and that George knows what he is doing, so we’re safe.

He says he comes up here all the time. He’ll know how to avoid the police if they decide they want to come interrupt anything. I know we are technically breaking the law, but we are not going to be vandalizing anything and we’re just going to watch the sunset I am guessing. I have never watched the sun set before. I have watched the sun rise when I have had a sleepless night, but that is not the same. It is equally as beautiful in my opinion though. “You know I have done this so often that it almost lost all the excitement I had coming here. Coming here with you though makes it feel like it is brand new again,” he tells me. It makes sense to me. If you do it often it becomes routine and it’s not as exciting as when you go for the first time or take someone with you.

“Well, I think this is exciting. I have never been up here before,” I tell him. There wasn’t a lot I could say, and I wanted to enjoy the view as much as possible. We must be careful still because we will never know if there is a cop around waiting to arrest us or something. I don’t think anything bad is going to happen, but you can never be overly cautious. “I am glad that I can make your first time up here a good one,” he says. I think back to my mother and how she’s doing at home. She’ll be a little anxious because this is the first time I have been out with a friend in so long, but she has met George and she knows that we can trust him. I can tell why he likes coming here at night, the sunset is so pretty, and you can reflect on your day. Like anything bad that happened to you during that day can be put behind you as the sun sets, a new day is going to start soon.

“Thank you so much for today,” I tell George as we walk back to his car holding hands. I look up to George who was looking at me with a big smile on his face. “You’re very welcome, now let’s get you home before your mother has kittens. She’ll be worried by now,” George tells me. I laugh, he is right about mom being worried, but I know that it is going to be okay. I have never heard the having kittens thing before. I bet it has something to do with how smart George is in English. I let him know that I was confused because I was trying to figure it out. “It’s a British idiom Dan. To have kittens in this context means that they are extremely worried or upset by something,” George tells me and it kinda makes sense to me, but I am not going to say I fully understand when I clearly don’t.

“Oh, I guess that kinda makes sense,” I tell him. George then decided to tell me all about his interest in the English language when we were in the car on the way home. I don’t claim to fully understand everything that George tells me, but I am deeply interested by it. Maybe he can help me with English, and I can become as smart as him. I feel like I am good in most subjects, but English is definitely my weaker subject. I was just enjoying listening to George talk about something that he is so passionate about. The whole drive back home was nice and relaxing, and I felt as if I had learned something while I was out and about with George. I did send my mom a message to let her know that I was on my way home and that she won’t have to worry about me for too much longer. She found it funny, but she was happy to know that I was on my way home.

George walked me to the apartment door when we arrived. He warned me that he had been taught a lot of what would be considered now days to be old fashioned ways of being in a relationship with someone. I think it is quite respectful. He makes sure that I don’t walk home alone, he opened the car door for me and closed it behind me. “Hey George, thanks for today. I really enjoyed it,” I tell him. I’m feeling really excited to see how long it takes the guys to find out about us. My mother opened the door and smiled at us both. She was relieved to see me. “You’re welcome my love. I enjoyed it too and I’ll see you tomorrow,” he tells me. We have no worries about kissing each other in front of my mother so we do and give each other one hug before he leaves.

“I am glad you had a good day buddy,” mum tells me, and I hug her when I walk into the apartment. We sit on the couch together and we talk about everything that George and I did together today. I do feel quite tired, but it was the first time that I had ever gone out with a friend for the whole day. It is a lot longer than any playdates I had during Elementary or Middle school. Those would only last a few hours at most. Since I had already had dinner the only thing I need to do is to have a shower, read a book or something and then go to bed because I have school in the morning. Mother already said goodnight and has gone to bed because she has work very early in the morning. I always hate it when mom has to leave so early for work.

I know why she has to leave so early though. She has to go to work and the more she works the more money her boss gives her, and we can afford all the bills that come with living in this small apartment like rent and all that stuff. Dad doesn’t care enough about me to ever pay child support and my mom can’t afford to chase the money in the court system. I’m old enough to take care of myself and George will be picking me up like usual anyways. It’s not like I am going to do anything stupid which could lead to the apartment burning down. I am just going to go to sleep, wake up to my alarm and probably eat some cereal before getting dressed and wait for George to come pick me up so we can go to school and let the guys know we are dating now.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_The next morning_ **

“Do you still think its going to be two months before Matt and Jordon come out to everyone?” George asks. We’re in the car on the way to school where our little group of friends was going to find out that both George and I are gay and have started dating each other. “Yeah, they’ll be cautious with it I think. It is going to be a huge shock to everyone that you’re gay in the first place. They wouldn’t be expecting it,” I tell him. Well, that’s how I think today is going to go anyways. I know that they have a feeling that I am gay because of how viciously I was bullied until they intervened. There had to be some reason behind it and even I wasn’t one hundred percent sure why it happened.

“Fair enough Dan. I guess I never really put much thought into how they were going to react to my news. I was more worried about you. I promise that I will never let anyone lay their hands on you like the bullies did ever again,” George tells me. He has said that promise to me before and I know he is going to keep it. He also told me that he didn’t really get a good night’s sleep last night but now I know why. He has been up worrying about how his really close friends are going to react about me coming out of the closet. It was nice but I feel the exact same way. I slept fine, but I still worry about how they will react because they have been friends for a really long time, and it would be a shame if I were to destroy all of that.

“It’s kinda funny. I am worried about you more than I am myself. I have been bullied for long enough that I have stopped caring about what other people may think. You have been friends with the guys since you were really small and it would be a shame if our relationship ruined it,” I tell him. He reached over and put his hand on top of mine. “If they decide to reject us for being who we are then the friendship was not meant to be,” George tells me. It was harsh but at the same time truthful. If they could not accept who we are then the friendship must end. That is the ultimate worst-case scenario though. We doubt that they will reject us, but you can’t help, but let your mind wander when it comes to the thought of sharing huge news like that.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I tell him. We’ve made it to school now and I am trying to hide the fact that something is worrying me. After all, there should be a little bit of fun to this. We are going to have a good day and we are going to be accepted by the others. It is just waiting until they figure it out for themselves which is the hardest part. We’re going to start the day off as normal and just let them try and figure it out on their own, there is not going to be any hints of cheeky little kisses in front of them when we think they aren’t looking. We’re just going to get along with our day as normal and see what happens. We stay in the car for a few more minutes so we can sort of calm ourselves down. “They’ll suspect us if we’re not calm,” he tells me.

“Oh yeah, that wouldn’t go well,” I tell him. Even now they will probably suspect something but we aren’t going to reveal anything until after school so it will be fair on everyone because I know that Jorel is not in school, so we won’t see him until the day has ended regardless. Now to keep our composure for the next 7 or 8 hours. I hope that it is going to be a lot easier than the last 5 0r 10 minutes have been. We are going to be just fine. I only have to deal with Jordon during some of my lessons today and then the others during break times and it’s not that difficult really. Jordon won’t be allowed to intensely ask me questions because talking isn’t really allowed in lessons and we’ll be talking about lessons and stuff during break times.

We had made it through the school day just fine much to our relief. Now to see how long it will take for them to realize we are dating as we go to our favorite hang out spot. I could tell that some of them were thinking about it. The cogs were working in their brains whenever they saw George and I look at each other. One of them is going to put two and two together and I think it is going to be within the first half an hour. George and I discussed on the way over that we were going to give them a little hint after all because otherwise they were not going to get it and we don’t know how much longer we were going to be able to keep this from them. We want to be able to let them know and then deal with their reactions. It didn’t take very long before our first friend had figured it out on his own and was grinning at the two of us.

“So uh, when were you going to tell us this happened then?” Jorel asks. I had a feeling that it was going to be him to be the first one. The others were paying a bit more attention like what the heck is he on about? Well, they are about to get their answer. “Since yesterday, how come?” George asks. I am quite interested to see how this goes. I was a little disappointed that we couldn’t use the “I’m straight” “you were not yesterday” lines from the musical like we wanted though. “Well, when we arrived Asia had followed us and did the bend and snap in front of you and nothing happened. I had been suspecting it for a week though,” Jorel replies. Fair enough, and we were relieved to know no one was against the idea of us being in a relationship.

I shook my head and smiled. “That damn bend and snap foils it again. It should be illegal,” I tell them, and they all start laughing. George wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed me on the cheek. “Yeah, but I have you, so it doesn’t matter,” George tells me, and we hear Dylan make fake gagging noises. I know he was only teasing us. George was being a bit cheesy. It’s good to know that all the important people know and accept us. We go through the rest of the afternoon like nothing had ever changed between the 6 of us which was the perfect outcome. Later on George drops me off at home and mom laughed as I almost forgot to say goodbye to George. She loves the fact that I have found someone who’s gonna love me.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_Sorry this was a long one, but I couldn’t rush it. I hope you enjoyed it and I’ll see ya all next time._ **


	9. It's where my demons hide |JD X CS|

**_FiggyPlum I am so sorry that this has taken so long. This has been written mostly by the amazeballs sister Jess who helped me out massively. I just edited and added some bits._ **

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

“You can’t go around hating all demons forever you know” Dylan told Jorel as he threw another skittle into his mouth as they chilled in their lounge. The band decided to move in with each other as it was just much easier to hide their true identities that way. But it hasn’t worked out for the best for two of the occupants. Jorel and Jordan have been failing to get along as Jorel was an angel and was terrified of ever letting a demon close to him due to an incident in the past and Jordan turned out to be exactly what Jorel had been avoiding. So it was easy to say that the tensions were always raised quite high in their house. “I can hate demons for as long as I want to, Dylan. And you know we can live forever essentially” Jorel pointed out and Dylan just threw one of his skittles over at him. Jorel quickly moved out of the way and just picked the skittle up off the floor before chucking it back over at Dylan, who caught it in his mouth and ate it before grinning over at Jorel. “I swear to God, you’re more of a werewolf than a bloody vampire” Jorel muttered and Dylan just laughed.

“You do know that you won’t be able to hide your feud with him from the public for much longer right? They are getting clever these days” Dylan said, “And Jordan has been pretty patient with your actions but he can’t keep it up forever” He continued and Jorel just sighed. He does almost feel guilty about how often they have ended up breaking out into a fight but he just couldn’t shake his mistrust. It is too deeply embedded in him. “Don’t worry, the public won’t be aware of it. If we can hide who we are for as long as we have, then I’m pretty sure I can keep this hidden from them as well.” Jorel assures him but Dylan just shook his head. “You need to let it go, Jay; Jordan is not the demon from your past. And you know it” He pointed out and Jorel just sighed again. “I just can’t okay, if you were there then, you wouldn’t either” Jorel threw at him, getting irritated at Dylan for not letting the subject go. “Jay, really? If I feared every werewolf then I would go insane and paranoid. It’s not healthy to hold on to grudges like this” Dylan lectured him and Jorel just shrugged as Matt walked into the room.

“I don’t know what happened in the past, but I do know that Dylan is right. If I have learnt anything from all my years, it's that it’s never worked out to hold on to grudges and people in the past” Matt interjected and Jorel just sighed yet once again. He knows they are right but he just couldn’t do it and he definitely doesn’t want to continue talking about it now.

“Why don’t we get back to work? This album isn’t going to finish itself” Dylan told Matt as he saw how Jorel was being affected by the current topic. “Sure, by the way I think that Jordan has written some lyrics for pigskin” Matt informed him and Dylan nodded as he headed over to the bookshelf near him and took his laptop from the top shelf. “Cool, we’ll have to see how they fit in but I’m pretty sure they will.” Dylan started to say but Jorel zoned out as they spoke, memories from nearly two hundred years ago starting to leak out of where he had locked them away. “Jay?” Dylan called and Jorel jumped due to being torn out of his deep thoughts. “Sorry, I was lost in thought. What did you say?” Jorel apologized as he focused on the two looking at him.

“Let me guess? Trapped in memories?” Dylan asked and Jorel nodded before turning back to staring at the space in front of him. “Jay, maybe talking about it will help?” Matt suggested and Jorel just shrugged as George walked into the room. “I don’t know, it was almost two hundred years ago so it probably won’t be worth it. It’s too deep” Jorel admitted, hoping it will be enough for them to leave him alone but luck was not on his side. “Jay, it doesn’t matter how long ago it was, speaking about our troubles always helps as it eases it off our chest and minds” Matt told him, “It won’t hurt to try” He added as he saw Jorel shake his head as he tried to fight the memories resurfacing. “If you insist” Jorel gave in as he felt how much he was losing the battle and his self-control along with it.

**_…………flashback begins..._ **

“The year was 1851, Jorel had just moved to San José, Costa Rica a couple months ago and was still getting used to the area. He decided to head to the local pub and ordered a double shot of rum neat. As he took a sip of his drink, a gentleman walked up to his side and ordered himself a drink before turning to Jorel. “Hola, cómo te va?” He asked Jorel with a grin and Jorel smiled back. “Hola, estoy bien, gracias” Jorel responded and the gentleman grinned as he could hear in Jorel’s voice that spanish isn’t his natural tongue. “Hablas inglés?” The man asked him and Jorel nodded in response with a grin. “Much better than I do with spanish I’m afraid” Jorel admitted and the other just laughed. “Well, I’m also pretty good at english as well so don’t worry. My name’s Daniel but mis amigos calls me Danny” Danny introduced himself and offered his hand out to Jorel. “Mine’s Jorel. It’s nice to meet you Danny” Jorel responded as he shook the other man’s hand. “So where are you from Jorel?” Danny asked him and Jorel took another sip of his drink before replying. “Just call me Jay if you’d like and I’m from Los Angeles originally but have lived in italy for the past few years” Jorel answered and Danny nodded in awe. “That is amazing. I would love to be able to travel like that, instead of just being stuck here. Although, fun fact, I have been to Los Angeles with mi mamá before moving back here to live with mi padre” Danny admitted and Jorel nodded. “So you have seen a little bit more than a lot of people here” Jorel pointed out and Danny laughed as he found that he had to hand it to him.

“Amigos míos, por qué no se unen a nosotros?” Another gentleman called the pair at the bar from his table. Danny nodded over at him before dragging Jorel with him over to the gentlemans table. “Gracias. Mi amigo aquí no entiende español tanto, así que te importa si hablamos en inglés?” Danny asked the man and he nodded enthusiastically. “Sí! It will give me chance to perfect english!” He told them and they both smiled happily back at him. “I am John” He said and signaled to Jorel to tell him his name. “I am Jorel, but you can call me Jay. And this is Danny” Jorel responded and John nodded. “Do you play poker?” He asked them and they both nodded in response as John began to set up the table.

They began to play poker and as they played, Jorel started to find true friends in the pair he had met that night. Although he did sense that John was a Demon and he knew that John could sense that he was an Angel. And despite this, Jorel couldn’t help finding himself attracted to said Demon. He was a true gentleman. Every time Jorel was on the verge of folding and John already had before, he would help Jorel with little hints. His help kept Jorel playing for a lot longer than if he was on his own, but ultimately Danny ended up winning the game. “No lo puedo creer!” Danny exclaimed as Jorel folded. “I have never actually won a game before!” He added and both Jorel and John laughed at the poor man. “Well, there’s a first time for everything, my friend” Jorel said as he patted Danny on the back. “I’m going to get another drink, would you two like anything?” Jorel asked them and Danny nodded. “Whatever you’re having” He told Jorel and as Jorel turned towards John, he found that John had stood up. “I will buy this round. Now come with me to bar” John instructed Jorel and Jorel happily followed him, laughing at Danny as he threw a sly wink Jorel’s way.

“What drink you want?” John asked him in his broken up english as the bartender came up to them. “A double rum if you will, thank you” Jorel responded and the bartender nodded as he went to fix the drinks up. “Dos de ellos por favor? Y un vodka doble u coca para mí, por favor?” John asked the bartender, who just nodded in response. “Don’t want to get too drunk tonight.” John explained and Jorel just laughed. “So, what does an Angel come to Costa Rica for?” John asked him and Jorel shrugged. “I felt like trying out a new place. I have spent most of my life around America and Italy so I felt like trying out something new” Jorel admitted and John nodded in aprovement. “So what about demons then?” Jorel fired back and John laughed. “I lived here when I was human, I live here as demon. I like Costa Rica, and I know how to stay anónimo.” John told him and Jorel grinned. “Nice” Jorel said as the bartender brought the drinks over to them. As Jorel went to pay for them, John put his hand over his own, and then paid the bartender himself. “I say I pay” John chastised him with a laugh before they turned to head back to Danny.

As they neared the table, they found Danny passed out with his head on the table. “He has borracho lots tonight. He sleeping good” John said as they laughed at the poor human. Jorel poured Danny’s drink into his and the pair just spent the next half hour chatting away and learning a lot about each other and their past lives as well as their newer longer lives. Jorel found out that John was also gay and found himself fascinated by the demon.

Once they finished their drinks Jorel got prepared to leave and dug through Danny’s pockets to figure out where the man lives but couldn’t find anything. So instead he decided that Danny will crash at his until he’s sobered up. “You no longer stay for another drink?” John questioned him but Jorel smiled kindly at him before shaking his head. “I should get Danny to bed, I’m pretty sure he’ll have work tomorrow” Jorel told him and John just nodded, unable to hide his disappointment from Jorel but quickly worked to cover it up. “Okay, you want to meet again? In two days?” John asked him and Jorel quickly nodded with a grin. “I would love to, the same time?” Jorel asked in return and John happily nodded himself. “It’s a plan, I will see you in two days” John said as Jorel picked Danny up in his arms. Without a warning, John kissed him on the lips before disappearing out of the door. “What a fella?” Jorel muttered to himself as he felt a blush fill his cheeks.

When Danny finally awoke, Jorel was in the middle of reading a book from an old friend. “Buenos días” He muttered as he saw Jorel and Jorel quickly looked up and grinned at the state of Danny. He couldn’t keep his eyes open for much and Jorel was able to tell just how rotten the human felt. “Would you like some food? Some water? It will help with the hangover.” Jorel suggested and Danny tried to nod but couldn’t be bothered in responding in his current state. “I shall take that as an agreement. I shall be back shortly, don’t move” Jorel said and laughed quietly to himself as Danny just groaned in response.

When Jorel returned, Danny was confused by a smell, to the point that he could not determine what it was. “What is that smell?” Danny asked Jorel as he managed to move himself into a sitting position, leaning heavily on the wall behind him. He saw that Jorel was holding a plate with eggs and bread on it and was holding a weird cup. “It is Eggs and toast and a cup of coffee” Jorel informed him and Danny’s eyes went wide. “How did you get coffee?” Danny asked him as only the important people in Costa Rica could get their hands on coffee.

Jorel chuckled as he handed Danny the plate before handing him the cup once Danny had set the plate down next to him. “I am friends with a coffee farmer.” Jorel explained and Danny just stared at him. “I didn’t know you had friends high up.” Danny said and Jorel shrugged. “Does it matter? I believe that it should not matter who one is friends with, I believe it only matters how you treat people” Jorel stated and Danny grinned. “I like that, that’s good” Danny said quietly before trying coffee for the first time. “Oh, that taste is strong” Danny said as he pulled back away from the cup. Jorel laughed as he took the cup off Danny so that he can eat. “Yes, it does take some getting used to I suppose” Jorel admitted and Danny grinned as munched on his food.

“Did anything happen between you and John last night? I do not remember much” Danny asked and Jorel laughed after Danny mentioned the memory loss. “So you saw then? We will meet up again tomorrow at the same time” Jorel told him and Danny grinned again. “I knew something would happen. It was quite obvious” He admitted and Jorel laughed again, happy to see that his new friend is an accepting soul.

“Oh my, I actually like that coffee, it’s made me feel so awake. I don’t believe I have ever been this awake before. Do you know what I mean?” Danny said quickly and Jorel grinned as he realized that the coffee is affecting him. “No, I don’t believe I do” He said and Danny laughed. “At least I am no longer feeling dead” Danny muttered and Jorel couldn’t help but throw out a laugh.

“Have you got a special interest in anyone?” Jorel asked as he sat back down and opened his book to his previous page. “Sí, una chica hermosa. Theresa” Danny said and smiled as he thought about his love. “How long has it been?” Jorel continued asking and Danny concentrated. “Oh Dios, no lo sé. Might be five years now” Danny replied and Jorel nodded as he went back to reading. “That’s good to hear,” Jorel said before getting engrossed in his book. “How did you get a book? I have maybe seen a book three times in my twenty five years” Danny said, shocked due to how much Jorel owns. “An old close friend of mine wrote this. She was a talented women.” Jorel informed him and Danny was able to detect a hint of sadness in Jorel’s voice. “How did she pass?” Danny asked him quietly and Jorel looked up at him with sadness darkening his eyes. “She became really ill and died at the age of 41.” Jorel told him and Danny smiled gently as he met his eyes. “That was a good age still” Danny said and Jorel nodded. “That is true, I just miss her company” Jorel admitted and a single tear escaped the corner of his right eye. “As long as you hold on to her memory, she will be happy” Danny said in comfort and Jorel smiled. “That is also true.” Jorel said and saw as Danny struggled to see what is on the book.

“Can you read?” Jorel asked Danny and he shook his head. “We couldn’t afford to learn, sorry” Danny said quietly in embarrassment. And Jorel moved to sit on the bed. “I can teach you if you’d like.” He offered but Danny just shook his head. “At this age there’s no point plus I would feel bad if I am able to read when everyone I know cannot. It’s already a big thing that I can speak English as well as I can” Danny explained and Jorel nodded. “That’s a fair point” He said, “Well, just in case curiosity is still there, this reads; Pride and Prejudice.”

“Ooh sounds incredibly suited for the higher class,” Danny said with a laugh. Jorel laughed as well and shrugged before taking out a cigarette. “Do you smoke?” Jorel questioned him and Danny nodded. Jorel handed Danny one and then lit his own before lighting Danny’s for him. “Thank you, and I hope it goes well with the gentleman from last night. I should be getting home; Theresa will be wondering” Danny said and Jorel nodded as he stood up. “That is true, I was going to take you home last night but could not find anything about where you lived so I decided to bring you here instead just so that you had a roof above your head” Jorel admitted and Danny grinned. “Thank you for that and we should play again soon, last night was good fun” Danny told him and Jorel nodded. “I am in full agreement with that and we should do it soon, how about in two days? We can meet up at the same time as we did last night just to keep it from being confusing” Jorel suggested and Danny nodded in agreement before getting his shoes on. “Sounds like a swell idea, I shall see you in two days” Danny said and then shook Jorel’s hand before leaving his cottage.”

**_...Back to Reality.. aka present day_ **

“So, did the date go well? If it was a date that is” George asked and Jorel nodded. “I suppose you could class it as a date but it didn’t really feel like one. It was just a bunch of awkward silences apart from him cracking a joke here and there in his broken English. I don’t know, guess I didn’t feel it but I was hella lonely back then and felt that it was just me making it awkward. So I ignored it and went with the flow to see how it would turn out” Jorel explained and George nodded to show that he understood.

“Wait a minute! You and Jane Austen were lovers!” Matt suddenly clicked and Jorel burst out laughing. “Oh my god, it’s taken you this long to click on?” He asked Matt in disbelief and he just nodded with his eyes wide open. “I knew you were close friends before she passed but that’s it, oh my god. That is insane!” Matt threw out and Jorel just nodded.

“Anyways, after that me and John ended up meeting up a few more times before deciding we should try a relationship. We knew we were both quite different, him being a demon and I an angel but there was a connection. Once I had let go of my awkwardness and reluctancy, I started to grow fond of John and found myself falling for him quite a bit. Lord knows I was worried about how God would think of this union but I was willing to risk God’s love to have some happiness at that point. I mean, it was him in the first place who casted me out” Jorel muttered to himself and George shook his head. “Don’t focus on that Jay, you know it only hurts you more” he told the angel and Jorel just nodded and tried to focus on his storytelling.”

**_…………_ **

“Well, for the next few months, everything was going along amazingly well for Jorel. He and Danny had become great friends and found an interest that they shared together in music and Jorel found that Danny did in fact want to learn to read. He wished to be able to write lyrics and poetry but couldn’t make it more than a dream. So Jorel decided to teach Danny how to read before moving on to write and Danny was ecstatic. This was his dream coming true.

Jorel was also ecstatic about the relationship that had formed between himself and John and was truly happy for the first time since the death of his ex. He was quite worried that God would not accept him back into his arms but Jorel was happy and was in love with someone who reciprocated that love. “Hey, Jay! Volver a nosotros!” John said as he waved his hand in front Jorel’s face, forcing him to focus on what’s in front of him. “Sorry, I was inside my thoughts for a while then” Jorel apologized and John shook his head. “You do that a lot I have noticed. You not going loco are you?” He asked and Jorel shook his head quickly, slightly offended at being called crazy. “No, I was merely distracted.” Jorel explained hoping to ease the mood on the table.

Just then Danny came into the bar and gave a weak smile as he saw Jorel and John turn towards him. “How little have you been sleeping Danny? You look half dead” Jorel complained as he saw deep dark shadows around Danny’s eyes. “I’m good, just been a bit distracted these days and lost a small amount of sleep. But everything is bueno.” Danny claimed and Jorel accepted it with only a slight amount of doubt. “But the important part is that I am here and ready to beber” Danny said and forced out a bigger smile as he went up to the bar.

Jorel found himself slightly worried about Danny and turned to talk to John. “I am worried about Danny, I don’t think he should be drinking, at least not tonight.” Jorel admitted and John laughed and shook his head. “No lo seas, He will be okay. No te preocupes tanto.” John told him and Jorel just sighed and nodded as he tried to push the worry to the back of his mind. He did notice that John does seem to be in a better mood now so that helped Jorel feel better as well. As Danny came to the table with a round of drinks for everyone, they quickly began playing poker again as it has become their favourite time passer. “Ha! I might actually win this one!” Danny suddenly threw out and Jorel and John both laughed at him when he instantly regretted his words.

Once the game was over, Danny found himself feeling quite bad about himself and decided that he should go home to deal with it by himself. “I will see you next time” Danny said, trying to force out a smile and John gave him a huge grin in return whereas Jorel just had a worried look in his eyes. “Are you sure you should be by yourself right now? I can come over and provide company for a small amount of time?” Jorel offered and Danny just shook his head. “No, I will be fine. I am just tired. Ciao” He responded and quickly headed out and Jorel just sighed sadly. “I don’t believe him. He wouldn’t normally bail after one game” Jorel said and just watched as John shook his head and let out a chuckle. “He’s fine. He most likely got tired of losing. “He’s not very good at this game. Pobre alma.” He responded with another chuckle. Jorel just nodded and once again tried to put it to the back of his head. “You set up another game and I will go get some drinks” Jorel told him and John just nodded as he was already beginning to sort out a new game.

**_…… following Danny’s side of the story….._ **

As Danny was walking home, a load of foreign thoughts kept popping into his mind and he felt like he might actually explode. He doesn’t understand why he’s reacting to life in such a way. He’s never been like this in his entire life. He doubts everything good happening to him now, he doubts his friendship with Jorel, his relationship with Theresa, the only thing he doesn’t doubt is the way he enjoys drinking but only by himself, if he’s drinking with others it just ruins it for him. He also keeps thinking about the way he acted before his mother and father passed away and how he wished he had been a good person back then. He’s found himself just regretting everything in his life and he can feel it as it sucks him into an endless void of misery.

As he reached his home, he made sure that Theresa wasn’t there waiting for him or anything. Once he made sure the place was clear of any other life forms, he quickly broke into his collection of rum and brandy and started throwing down as much as he could. It’s the only way he can think of to control the storm he has found himself in. He doesn’t understand what triggers it even, it’s almost like whenever he’s happy, he should be tortured for it and he doesn’t understand. If he just understood then it would be fine, he’d find a way to deal but there’s no conclusion to be had. And it is torture, that’s the only way he could explain, it’s as if God is personally torturing him for his sins.

Danny fell to the floor as his mind kept rambling and struggled to control himself and his emotions because he felt that he was getting deadly close to exploding. “¡¿Qué me está pasando?!” He screamed out loud and broke down crying, “¡Duele demasiado!"” He threw out mid sobs and clutched the bottle he was currently on to his chest as emotions turned into a hurricane within him. “No puedo hacer esto más.” He cried and curled up into a ball on the ground as he gave up on trying to keep himself together.

**_……...Back to Jorel’s side of story…_ **

“I think I might go check up on Danny, I still can’t stop worrying about him” Jorel admitted after they finished yet another game of poker and John sighed in frustration. “¡Dios mío! I never see you anymore, you are always with him!” John snapped and Jorel was taken aback. He always tried to see John as much as possible but he also didn’t want to push away Danny as they have become real close friends. “Why are you saying this? I have always been there when you wanted to meet up and have asked many times for you to meet up with me” Jorel said quickly to defend himself and John glared at him. “You are with me, not with him. He’s just a friend, not someone to be around with more than your partner.” He chastised him and then finished his drink. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize this was how you felt. You should have told me sooner, but don’t worry. From now on, I’ll be there for you more, I promise” Jorel promised him and saw it as the demon lightened up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a persona malvada. I’m just feeling lonely these days and I took it out on you” He admitted and Jorel smiled, “It’s okay, we all have an inner demon” He said and grinned as John laughed at his terrible pun. “Dios mío, that was terrible” He said laughing and they both laughed it off.

“Go be with Danny, I will see you tomorrow at yours?” He said and Jorel nodded with a big smile. “Thank you so much, and yes, as early as you want” Jorel replied before giving the demon a kiss before leaving to check on his friend. “It will be early!” John shouted as Jorel left and Jorel laughed.

On his way over to Danny’s his mind was caught up in imagining what tomorrow will hold and was grinning away to himself as he reached his friend’s door. “Danny? Are you in?” Jorel called and received no response except for someone crying inside. This suddenly ripped away Jorel’s happiness and he quickly opened the door and rushed in. “Danny?!” Jorel called in shock as he saw the human curled up in a ball against the wall on the other side of the room, clutching a bottle brandy to his chest and a couple bottles of medicine beside him.

“¡No! ¡Vete!” Danny cried as he saw Jorel standing in front of him. “No, Danny. Tell me what is going on?!” Jorel begged him as he went up to his friend and crouched in front of him before taking Danny’s hands in his. He then pulled Danny up to his feet and moved him to a chair. “Danny, hablarme, por favor?” Jorel asked him again quietly, as he knelt in front of the poor man. “It hurts. Jay, it really hurts” Danny whispered as he moved himself off the chair and back down to the ground. He went back to holding his chest tightly and tears were still speeding down his cheeks. “What hurts? Your chest?” Jorel asked him and Danny nodded as he began sobbing again and Jorel realized that Danny wasn’t talking in a literal sense. “What’s making it hurt?” He asked as he sat next to Danny and pulled him in for a tight hug. “I do not know at this point, everything!” Danny continued crying and Jorel found that he had begun crying for Danny’s sake, he hated seeing his best friend in so much torture. “I have failed so drastically in every point of my life. What am I even doing?” Danny threw out and returned the hug tightly as he cried even harder. “You are doing the best you can. Don’t let this break you, I beg you.” Jorel said quietly and then suddenly remembered about the medicine bottles. “Danny, why are there medicine bottles here?” Jorel asked him and Danny shrugged. “Apparently it will stop the pain” Danny said as he managed to control his crying to an extent. “No it won’t Danny, it will make it worse” Jorel told him but Danny just shook his head. “Impossible” He whispered in response and Jorel just tightened his hold on Danny.

“You will get better, just don’t take the medicine” Jorel saaid and Danny just didn’t respond, finding himself drifting off to sleep. As soon as Jorel realized the other was going to sleep, he quickly checked to make sure that he hadn’t actually taken any of the medicine. Thankfully, it doesn’t look like the bottle had been opened. Jorel let out a sigh of relief at this and just focused on moving Danny to his bed. “Can you please stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone” Danny asked him quietly as Jorel was about to leave. “Of course” Jorel told him and was secretly happy about it because he did not trust Danny to be alone. He let Danny curl up to him and then the human quickly fell into a deep drunken sleep.

Whilst Danny slept, Jorel tried to figure out what caused Danny’s pain but he could not think of a reason. It’s as if it just happened out of nowhere, as if God were punishing him for spending more time with the demon then one of his creations, so he wants to hurt Jorel through his friend to teach him a lesson. It’s the only reason Jorel could think of. “Lord, please leave Danny out of this. It is me you should punish, not Danny. I will stop seeing the demon, I promise, just don’t hurt the human.” Jorel promised his father, praying with every inch of his power. He was sad about having to leave the demon but he didn’t want anyone to get hurt just for the sake of him being happy for a little bit. He will inform the demon tomorrow but tonight he just wants to look after the broken human.

The next day, he told John what he wanted to do but the demon did not agree. “I do not care if it hurts the human! I only care about us!” He shouted at Jorel, causing the angel to flinch and move backwards. “¡Déjalo morir!” He added on at the end and this upset Jorel a lot. “How dare you say that!? He’s our friend!” Jorel shouted back and the demon glared at him with all his power, scaring Jorel slightly. “No, he is your friend! And why would you befriend a human anyway? They’re weak!” John snapped and Jorel struggled to keep himself in check. “No! They are not weak, they’re stronger than the rest of us! They are selfless! They have a freewill and much better than you bloody Demons!” Jorel snapped and couldn’t control his wings snapping out as anger coursed through him. John’s wings also snapped out in self-defence and anyone could see the loathing for Danny clouding his eyes.

"Tal vez se está volviendo loco!" John snapped out of him and Jorel’s blood flooding with the urge to kill the demon in front of him and he pulled out a weapon he hadn’t needed in years. “ ¡Por Dios! If you want blood then I will give you blood” The demon growled at him as he gave up trying to hide his real skin. “You need to leave San José and take your human friend with you before I kill you both!” John snapped before disappearing through the door and taking off quickly. Tears began to pour out of Jorel’s eyes and he found himself on the verge of hating God for causing this. He quickly left his home and rushed to Danny’s just in case John wasn’t going to wait but thankfully found Danny by himself at his home.

“Danny, we need to leave San José now! John wants to kill us.” Jorel threw out as he barged in to the house and Danny was shocked to see Jorel’s wings. “What are you?” Danny quickly threw out as he quickly moved to the opposite side of his home, Jorel realized his wings were out and quickly put them back away.. “Danny, you do not need to be scared of him. I will protect with all my God given might but I need you to come with me.” Jorel said in a rush but Danny couldn’t focus, he was terrified. “Why do you have wings?” Danny asked as he couldn’t take his eyes off of where they used to be. “I’m an angel! Danny, there is no time for this!” Jorel shouted before instantly regretting as Danny’s heart almost exploded with fear. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to shout but I’m terrified right now. I need to get you to safety. But I promise I will explain everything to you but right now, we need to get out of here” Jorel said, infinitely calmer and Danny also began to calm down. “Where would we even go? I have no money to get me anywhere” Danny said as Jorel gave up on waiting for Danny to get packing and began packing Danny’s belongings himself.

“That’s okay, I have somewhere we can go, a second home of sorts” Jorel explained and Danny rolled his eyes automatically. “Of course you do” He muttered before moving to help Jorel. “By the way, I will hold you to the promise. Because I need to know exactly why the hell I need to leave my home.” Danny stated and Jorel could still hear the fear in his voice. “Do so, because I will answer every question possible.” Jorel assured him as he made sure only essentials were packed. “What about mi Theresa!?” Danny cried and Jorel winced. “I’m so sorry Danny” Jorel said quietly and Danny’s eyes instantly started to well up and this just pulled at Jorel’s heart even more. “I will fix this, I promise. I just need to make sure you’re safe first.” Jorel told and picked up Danny’s bag before grabbing hold of Danny’s wrist and pulled him along as he left the house. Once they were outside, Jorel unfurled his wings once more, pulled Danny close and wrapped his arm around the human before taking off from the ground and headed to his safe house. “Turn your head towards my chest, it’ll make it easier to breathe for you as I fly and try not to look around too much” Jorel warned Danny and Danny was quick to follow his instructions this time, purely due to how terrified he is of the height they are above the ground. “Don’t worry it will be over soon.” Jorel assured him but Danny couldn’t help but look down quickly and saw they were above water. “¡Eso espero!” Danny shouted as he quickly pressed his face against Jorel’s chest and tightened his arms around Jorel’s waist with a deadly strength. Jorel became worried that Danny might faint due to his fear so he tried to fly faster and higher, but not too high where the lack of oxygen could hurt Danny.

“Danny, breathe! You’re hyperventilating!” Jorel told him as he realized how bad a state Danny was in. “We’re nearly there, just hang on a little bit more” He continued, hoping Danny would focus on his voice enough to regain control but it seemed he didn’t hear him. Danny’s breath got caught in his throat and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. His hold on Jorel completely dropped and Jorel wasn’t prepared in time to catch Danny’s full weight and Danny slipped out of his hold. “Danny!” Jorel cried and instantly dove to catch him. As Danny fell, he came to and freaked out as he felt the speed he felt at and instantly fainted again. “Danny!” Jorel cried again as he struggled to catch up and quickly moved the bag so that he held it on his elbow and reached forwards with his arms to catch the human.

With some fear-powered speed, he managed to reach his arms under Danny and then quickly lifted himself up, catching Danny’s weight with a painful beat of his wings. “Danny!” Jorel called, open to see Danny’s eyes open but they remained shut. Danny had completely passed out so Jorel instantly returned to flying to his safe place at the fastest speed possible. Jorel’s heart beating out of his chest as he struggled to calm down after that amount of fear blasting through him. “Don’t worry Danny, I’ve got you” He said to the unconscious man, but mostly to himself as an attempt to calm himself down.

He reached his house and landed on the balcony before heading inside and placing Danny on the bed in his spare room. He then checked to make sure the human was still breathing and let out a loud sigh in relief as Danny started to come to. “I need to go sick” He threw out as he came to and rushed off the bed but didn’t realize how high the bed was and fell and couldn’t get back up in time before he threw up all over the ground. “Danny?” Jorel quietly said but Danny didn’t get a chance to respond as he threw up again.

Jorel quickly went to find some cloth to clean up the mess and felt guilty about what’s happening to the poor human. When he returned to Danny, he found the man curled up into the corner of the room crying his eyes out. Jorel just focused on cleaning up the mess before he focused on Danny and drawing him a bath so that he can get cleaned. “Come on Danny, I’ve made a bath ready for you” Jorel said quietly as he once again pulled Danny up to his feet. “¡Deja de hacer eso! And just tell me what is happening!” Danny said, his accent coming out really strong. “I’m so sorry Danny, I really am” Jorel told him as tears welled up in his own eyes. “¡No me importa, diablo! I just want to know why I had to leave Theresa behind! Why was John trying to kill us?! What did you do to him? What are you going to do to me and if John is going to kill us then WHY DID YOU LEAVE THERESA BEHIND!” Danny screamed at him as he pulled away from Jorel and moved as far away as he possibly could. Jorel all of a sudden just lost control of himself and his wings once again flew out, filling the room around him, causing Danny to cower in fear. “John was trying to kill us because I left his side to save your life! God was punishing me through punishing you because I was happy with a demon! And I didn’t think he’d go after her” He said, calming down by the end and feeling bad for scaring Danny yet once again. “I’m sorry Danny, I’m freaking out trying to think of everything and trying to protect you from that I completely forgot about Theresa but I will fly back and get her and bring her to safety. I just didn’t want to lose my best friend” Jorel ended with sadness in his tone as he just realized that Danny had called him the devil. “The bathroom is the door to the left once you leave this room. I will be back tonight” Jorel said and then left the room via the balcony and lifted himself up before flying off and Danny just stared in shock.

It broke his heart, the fact that Danny sees him as the devil when all he wanted to do was keep him safe. He will make sure Theresa is safe as well, although he was much more aware of her strength than Danny was. Jorel didn’t believe it was his secret to speak about so he left Theresa to do as she will when it came to her existence and she did the same thing for Jorel in favour.

Once he arrived back in San José, he quickly found Theresa’s home and explained everything to her before asking her to join him in flight back to Danny and she promptly agreed. And over the flight back to his, Theresa explained how she was beginning to get seriously worried for Danny as she has found him in terrible situations and has even had to break up a bar fight that Danny had purposely started, looking for a way out. This broke Jorel’s heart even further as he wasn’t aware of how long Danny had been suffering and still could not come up with a reason for it apart from God. He asked Theresa if she knew what was causing it but even she had no idea. He was worried about the state that Danny could be in once they returned to his so he picked up as much speed as possibly.“Oh wow, your home is beautiful” Theresa whispered as she took in the scene before her. A three story building standing tall at the edge of a cliff and a rocky beach in front of it.

“Wait a minute, is that Danny at the top?!” She cried all of a sudden and Jorel felt his breath get caught up in his throat as his eyes confirmed it for him. “What is he doing and is that John behind him?!” Theresa asked, fear evident in her voice, and Jorel instantly recognized the foreigner. “It is!” Jorel snapped as they reached the roof before setting Theresa down as gently as he possibly could, despite wanting to attack the demon. He then began to fly at John and his blade came out in record time as he rushed towards the demon and Theresa rushed towards Danny. “You make another move and he will fall!” The demon threatened and Theresa and Jorel both came to an instant halt. “What are you doing John! Have you lost what little sense you had? Doing all this because I’d rather save a life then let him die just so I could possibly be happy?!” Jorel snapped as he set his feet on the roof and folded his wings back behind him and the demon’s eyes flared up in anger.

“Well if he is dead then that will no longer be a problem, will it? Oh and before you try to speak sense into him, he cannot hear you or see you. He currently believes he’s alone on this roof and that his precious hermosa Theresa has passed away” The Demon bragged with a grin and Theresa lost it. She screamed at him and rushed towards Danny at the fastest speed she could possibly muster but wasn’t fast enough. Danny cried out her name, still trapped in John’s control, and both Jorel and Theresa could feel the heavy heartbreak, and then he took the step just before Theresa was able to reach him.

“Danny! No!!!!” Theresa screamed as she jumped off after him and Jorel lost control. He screamed at John and sped towards him with all of his God given strength, nothing but death and anger on his mind. He swung his blade but the demon managed to avoid it in the last second and Jorel only caught the top of John’s arm and drew a small amount of blood. “YOU WILL DIE FOR THIS!” Jorel screamed at him in cold-blooded anger and the demon just laughed as he appeared behind the angel. “Was it you this whole time!?” Jorel screamed at him, struggling to keep his bearing as John kept appearing around him. John laughed again as he came to a standstill, all of a sudden, before nodding and backing away from Jorel and pulling out dual hell blades. “You should have left him for me!” John screamed at him and then rushed at Jorel. But each swing of John’s arms, Jorel was able to match and block before John was able to get in a few slices to Jorel’s chest before quickly backing away as Jorel’s blade came swinging towards his throat. Jorel gasped as he struggled to ignore the piercing pain in his chest and the blood pouring down his chest and stomach.

“You promised you weren’t like the other demons! You said you had grown to love them! You lied to me!” Jorel cried at him as he quickly closed the gap between the angel and demon and dodged John’s moves before making his own moves but only being able to cut off the demons ear as John quickly backed out of the way. All of a sudden, a scream was heard right behind them and Theresa was suddenly rushing towards John in anger and heartbreak. She had no weapon but she couldn’t think clearly, he just killed her Danny and she’s going to get revenge. “Theresa, No!” Jorel screamed as he knew how much faster the demon was compared to her but she didn’t care. She was on a warpath and there was no stopping her. John brought up the dual blades in preparation and Theresa’s nail and teeth largened in size and sharpened to a deadly level. Jorel also moved in again and between Theresa and him, they were able to injure the demon quite seriously.

Jorel knew they needed an advantage so he once again, unfurled his wings and lifted up off the ground high enough to have an aim from above but struggled to have a clear shot. Theresa and John were battling too fast for Jorel to get a clear shot but then all of a sudden the fighting stopped and Theresa fell to the ground, one of John’s blades embed in her chest. “Noo!” Jorel screamed as he threw his blade and watched as it landed directly in John’s chest. John fell to his knees and was struggling to breath as he realized that he had just lost.. “You do know that I will just come right back, right? “ He threw out in a winded voice and Jorel nodded as he landed directly in front of the demon. “But it won’t be for another couple hundred years.” He muttered before pulling his blade back out and watching as John let out a scream of pain before flames began to leap out of John and he quickly burnt to the ground, leaving behind a pile of ash.

Jorel refused to think about it and quickly rushed to Theresa’s side. “Speak to me Theresa, please?!” Jorel begged him and gasped as Theresa’s eyes flickered open for a brief second. “I’ve been feeding him” She whispered before succumbing to death, her body quickly decomposing before him. “No!” Jorel cried and he just sat there in shock. He couldn’t believe how much he had lost in one day. Although it did confuse him when Theresa spoke her last words. He couldn’t understand what she meant by saying that she had been feeding him.

“Danny? Did she mean she had been feeding Danny?” He asked himself and quickly flew down to the human. “Oh my god!” Jorel cried as he found what state the human was in and it caused him to fall to his knees in grief. There was no way that Danny could have survived the fall, let alone the injuries that he had received after he landed. Tears flooded out of his eyes and he just knelt by Danny’s corpse for hours, struggling to wrap his head around anything that happened within the last day. He had completely forgotten about his deep wounds and as he managed to hold back any more tears and tried to figure out what he was going to do next, his vision suddenly clouded and he collapsed to the ground. When Jorel came back around, he was in a lot of pain with his chest. “Jorel, hold still, I need to fix your chest.” Somebody told him and Jorel gasped as he recognized the voice.

“Danny!?” He cried as he looked up and found the man in question, standing above him. “Oh my god! Danny!” Jorel cried again and he sat up so that he was on the same level as Danny and then pulled him into his arms as fresh tears showed up in Jorel’s eyes. “¿Qué carajo pasó?” Danny asked as he struggled to be careful with Jorel’s wounds, completely oblivious to what has happened. “You died Danny, that’s what happened! Oh my god, that’s what Theresa meant by ‘she’s been feeding you’” Jorel realized as he struggled to control his emotions and gasped as he struggled to deal with the pain in his chest. He felt back down to the bed and struggled to keep his eyes open.

“What are you talking about? What the carajo do you mean I died?” Danny freaked out as he quickly understood what Jorel said and struggled to keep Jorel from passing out again. “John made you jump off the roof, Danny. Me and Theresa tried to stop him but he’s evil, he got under our skins and he made you take the final step.” Jorel told him quietly and Danny figured that speaking was helping the angel but as he realized what Jorel said,he was quickly shocked to his core. “Wait, Theresa is here?! Where is she?” Danny quickly threw out as he to the door in the fastest time he’s ever done. “¿cuál es el fuc?” He spat out as he realized how fast he moved.

“Danny, you’re a vampire. Theresa turned you by feeding you her blood since you began being under John’s influence. You weren’t ill, he was in your mind this entire time.And I’m so sorry I didn’t figure this out sooner. You have no idea how sorry I am” Jorel explained and Danny couldn’t believe it, Theresa was a vampire this whole time without him knowing it. And everything he had been through the past couple months, all that pain was caused by a demon, demons and the devil is real and this terrified Danny. “Where is he now? We’re not safe here, I need to find Theresa.” Danny rambled as he looked around for his girlfriend and the demon. But Jorel quickly climbed out of bed and stopped Danny from leaving the room. 

“Danny, you need to listen to me. John is dead, I killed him myself but I’m afraid i wasn’t fast enough to save Theresa. She died during battle with the demon before I managed to smite him back to hell. I am so sorry Danny, I tried to be there for you and I tried to save Theresa and I tried my hardest to not let him get under my skin. I failed you so much” He fell to his knees after whispering the last words and couldn’t hold back his own tears of failure as he realized just how badly he got everything wrong and how he just should have never gone to Costa Rica in the first place.

Danny fell to his knees as well as he heard that his beautiful Theresa had died and just stared at the ground in front of him, unaware of the tears pouring down the cheeks and how tightly he was holding his own chest. He was numb to everything around him and he decided that he didn’t want to feel anymore. He was tired of emotions and being hurt, feeling guilt and grief is just painful and he doesn’t want to feel it anymore. He just stood up and went over to Jorel and pulled him to his feet. He then realized Jorel was still injured and that Danny probably should help the angel.

“Vamos, we need to fix your chest still. And then we should bury Theresa and then you’ll need to tell me how to stay alive in this new life” Danny told him before moving Jorel back to the bed. Jorel just stared at him after Danny made him lie back down on the bed, shocked to see how quickly Danny learnt to shut his emotions off, and this sent fear down his spine. “Danny, wait! Don’t do that” Jorel told him and Danny froze in his tracks. “Do what? Save your life? I can let you die if you would like, but I just gathered you wanted to live.” Danny said calmly, although refused to turn around and face Jorel. “You know that’s not what I meant. If you stop yourself from feeling your emotions, it will only hurt you more in the future. It will twist you in something dark and evil.” Jorel told him and Danny gasped but still refused to turn to face him, slowly starting to lose his grip on his heart. “Danny, you need to grieve and to recover.” He said, quieter this time as his chest began to hurt him even more.

“¿No, por favor? No puedo sentir ese dolor otra vez.” Danny whispered and Jorel only just about heard him over his own heart pumping in his ears. “Danny” Jorel whispered before his vision clouded over yet once again and he succumbed to the darkness.

**_….following Danny’s side of the story…._ **

Danny was struggling to hold his emotions back, but he knew that Jorel was right. But he pushed it to the back of his mind as he went to check to make sure that Jorel was still breathing. Once he was certain that Jorel was going to die that second, he went to find some medical supplies, although he was unaware of what he was doing and how to help Jorel. As he headed to the kitchen, he found someone knocking at the front door and went to answer it. “Hello?” Danny asked, unsure if he should speak his native tongue or not. “Salve, I am looking for Jorel Decker?” The woman at the door said and Danny nodded. “This is his home, I’m afraid Jorel cannot come to the door right now. Can I help with anything?” Danny offered, unwilling to give away the real nature of why Jorel couldn’t answer the door.

“I am a warlock; my name is Marnie Ventress and I am a close friend of Jorel’s. You do not need to hide what has happened from me. Is Jorel injured?” The Warlock asked Danny and Danny let out a sigh of relief before quickly nodding. He has been aware of Warlock's existence since he was a child. “I’m Daniel. Please help him, I do not know what to do” Danny asked her as he quickly led the warlock to where Jorel was lying. “He was in a fight with a demon which led to my death and not death. It’s very confusing.” Danny threw out as they entered Jorel’s room. Danny went to lean against the wall next to the door, suddenly taken by panic and hunger and wanting to drain the warlock. “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how I’m even here except apparently I was fed blood by my partner who turned out to be a vampire who has also just died so I am very confused right now” Danny moidered and didn’t expect the warlock to hear him but she did. “Here, drink this” The warlock said and then all of a sudden Danny was holding a cup filled with blood. “Why would I drink this?! This is blood!” Danny freaked out but couldn’t bring himself to stop smelling the cup and realizing how much he craved the contents. “If you do not drink it, you will die” The warlock said and then focused on Jorel, not caring any further about Danny and his inner battle.

And it was an intense battle because Danny had only just now realized what he had become. He was a monster, a vampire. As bad as the demon who cursed him to this life. All of a sudden, his emotions erupted out of Danny’s grip. Tears broke out of his eyes in the fastest it has ever happened in his entire life and the heaviest sobs broke out of his chest as he let loose all the emotions he has trapped since he first woke up to this new life. He threw the blood down his throat in lightning fast speed and found that the cup filled right back up by itself but Danny was past caring about the present. His mind focused on Theresa and it broke him. He missed her so much already and he hated how he was incapable of being there for her when she needed him. She died thinking Danny was dead. She will never be there again, he’s completely alone. Jorel is more than likely on his way to joining her and Danny couldn’t. Danny is cursed to this life forever, unable to join Theresa. He couldn’t control himself, not the sobs ripping out of his heart, not the tears ripping out of his soul, his entire being just collapsed and he felt like it might actually aid him to join his soulmate. And Jorel is going to join her, he’s going to leave Danny alone as well. He’s lost his brother as well as his soul mate. He couldn’t stop himself going over and over how much he’s lost in his mind as he continued to drink the blood, completely oblivious to the warlock healing Jorel in front of him. He couldn’t see anything past the ocean of tears.

His heart was physically hurting and numbing the rest of the body. He couldn’t feel anything past the pain and there was a lot. He started thinking about how he let the demon control him in such a manner; How he let himself get seriously ill and pained; How he resorted to drinking and on the verge of suicide for months. He suddenly remembered how calm he was at the top of the roof, and how no one else was there and he was all alone because nobody cared enough for him. He was aware of how it really was now and yet he still couldn’t shake that feeling and now he is truly all alone.

“Daniel!” The warlock shouted, snapping Danny back to reality to an extent. “Daniel, listen to me, Jorel has been healed!” The warlock informed him, holding hers hands tightly on Danny’s shoulder. She was completely aware of how Danny has prevented himself from feeling any emotion since he woke up to being a vampire and that he has switched his humanity back on. Danny still was unable to control his sobbing and tears and the warlock quickly moved out of the way for the only one who might have a chance of getting through to him.

“Danny? Listen to my voice. It’s me, Jay” Jorel said quietly as he pulled the sobbing man into his arms the way he did when Jorel first found Danny when he was struggling as a human. Danny’s sobbing slowed down a little bit in disbelief. “Jay?” Danny whispered and Jorel let out a sigh of relief. “It’s me, Danny. I’m here” Jorel responded and Danny hugged him tight enough that Jorel almost instantly begged for Danny to let go but he managed to hold back as he knew just how much Danny needed him right now. “It’s just Theresa and you and the devil is real and and…” Danny started rambling but Jorel quietly stopped him in his tracks. “I know Danny, I know.” He muttered as he tightened his own hold on the vampire as sobs continued to rack out of Danny’s chest.

Jorel then remembered about the warlock watching this scene unfold and looked up at her. “Thank you, Marnie. I truly appreciate your help.” Jorel told her and the warlock shook her head. “No need to thank me, I’m just glad I got here in the nick of time. I’ll be in the kitchen when you are both ready” Marnie told him and Jorel nodded and smiled in gratification as the woman walked out of the room.

“Fun fact; most vampires take years, not mere hours, to be able to switch back on their humanity.” Jorel said and Danny let out a small laugh as he slowly began to regain control over himself. His sobbing was slowly dying down although the tears weren’t going to let up anytime soon on their own accords. “It hurts Jay, I don’t want it to hurt anymore.” Danny whispered and Jorel nodded. “I know it does, but don’t worry. Will recover, it may take time but one day, it won’t hurt anymore. I promise” Jorel promised him and Danny let his hold on Jorel loosen slightly. “Sorry, I think I might have been suffocating you by accident,” Danny said as he began to pull away from Jorel. “You do not have to worry about that, I was completely fine.” Jorel assured him and Danny gave him a small smile as he worked to control his tears. “I’m proud of you Danny, I really am. You’re one of the strongest vampire’s I have ever met, and I have met hundreds in my lifetime.” Jorel told him and Danny laughed at him. Jorel then climbed to his feet before helping Danny to his.

“You are completely healed; Marnie did a really good job” Danny muttered as he worked to wipe away the last of his tears and Jorel laughed. “Don’t say that around her, you will insult her ego” Jorel said and Danny laughed as they left the room to meet up with Marnie.

**_………..Back to reality…._ **

“Holy shit dude!” Dylan threw out as he took it all in. Danny sighed from where he had stood when he entered the room to tell his part of the story at the end. Matt, all of a sudden, jumped up from where he had sat down and gave Danny a strong hug. “Um, what’s going on?” Danny asked and Jorel let out a chuckle as he wiped away the tears that had escaped during the story. “Dude, how are you always so cheery these days? After everything you went through?” Matt asked him and Danny realized what was going and rolled his eyes. “How did they get you talking?” He asked Jorel. Danny has always been aware of how much Jorel needed to just air the past because holding himself back all these years was taking a toll on the angel. “They wouldn’t leave me alone unless I gave them what they wanted.” Jorel informed Danny and they just laughed as Dylan rolled his eyes.

“Jay, I’m so sorry that happened to you two. I do not know this demon but I assure you he’s still a long time from returning to this place. If I knew it was because of that, I wouldn’t have retaliated so much” Jordan admitted as he showed that he had been listening in on them this whole time and Jorel sighed, “I didn’t mean to be an absolute twat to you, I just couldn’t see past the demon factor.” Jorel muttered and felt evil, and Jordan sighed sadly as he saw Jorel pull a disgusted face at himself. “Jay, don’t do that to yourself. It’s perfectly normal to hold on to grudges like this, I’m just happy you were finally able to talk about it and get it off your chest.” Jordan told him as he moved to be in front of the angel. “And I can point out right now, one obvious difference between the two demons. One actually gives a shit about his friends and family.” Danny said and Jorel let out a sad chuckle.

“Now come on, we need to focus on our record, otherwise it will never be released” Jordan told everyone as he headed towards the studio room and everyone was quick to follow him and Jorel found himself staring at Jordan as he walked out of the room. Danny was the only one to notice Jorel acting this way and held back behind everyone to talk with Jorel.

“Jay, it was almost two hundred years ago, I think you should try to move past this with your heart wide open.” Danny said with a grin and Jorel laughed as he understood what the vampire was hinting at. “It’s why I got so nervous and doubtful about Jordan to begin with, I was instantly attracted to him. God must really dislike me at this point if my taste is just in male demons.” Jorel said with a quiet chuckle and Danny rolled his eyes. “Jay, you have been left here on earth, surrounded by beings with a free will. I’d take this as a sign. God doesn’t mind who people fall in love with.” Danny pointed out and Jorel had to admit to himself that Danny had a point but he still couldn’t shake the feeling that he was well and truly forgotten by God. “Danny, I think he has truly just forgotten about me” Jorel admitted with a tear welling up in his eye. “So what if he has, I mean look at us, three of us are vampires; one is a warlock with demon blood in his veins and another is a demon. What I’m trying to say is, welcome to the club” Danny told him and Jorel just sighed as he realized that Danny was right, they were just a group of godly rejects.

“How did we become so lucky, Danny? Despite everything that has happened” Jorel stated and Danny nodded and then they both quickly headed after the rest of the group. Jorel promised to himself that he will try his hardest to move on from the past the way that Danny managed too. 

**_…………... 2 months later_ **

“I am so happy you decided to give me a chance Jorel. I am so sorry about what happened between you, Danny and Theresa because of that bastard all those years ago,” Jordon says, as he and Jorel sit on the Hollywood sign late in the afternoon. The sun hadn’t quite yet set, but it was an idea that Danny had given them. The vampire had tried his best to give the angel tips on how to overcome all the guilt he had lived with for so long. He had used the idea that as the sun sets at the night you leave all of that guilt behind as you know soon enough there will be a new day and a chance for new memories with all of the people they had met and bonded with. New and better memories with Jordon who had gone above and beyond what was needed to prove to the angel that there were more good demons than bad ones out in the world.

“Thank you for proving that there are still good demons out there. That was the worst time of my life but I am grateful that Theresa had made the choice to begin turning Danny otherwise I don’t think I would have coped. I think I am ready to leave that all behind me now,” Jorel replies. He had been holding the demon’s hand for a little while and for once the usually edgy angel felt comfortable. it was also unusual for the omega who had spent his lifetime making up his own rules and in his own words “being the black bird on the white album.” Jordon however suited the Alpha role extremely well; he was a natural born leader so much so that the band often joked that he was the dad of the band despite the fact that most of them were older.

It made sense why despite all Jorel’s fears the omega still didn’t fully trust Jordon. He knew what it meant in terms of his own status and he would have to be seen as following the leader when he had been the leader for so long. “Who would have thought that the great omega Jorel Decker would finally be won over by my charms,” Jordon says, there was a bit of cheekiness in his tone but it didn’t stop the angel from almost pushing the cocky alpha male off the sign. “Yeah right, what charms do you have?” the angel replies, to which the demon responds by smashing his lips onto the omega’s. They both nearly went crashing down the Hollywood sign if it were not for Jordon’s quick thinking to get them secured. It took a minute but Jorel did eventually kiss back.

“That among a few other things,” Jordon replies, as they look to the city of Los Angeles going on oblivious to the alpha and omega and their somewhat of a first date. The sun had finally started setting making the city that never sleeps look amazing. Jorel cursed under his breath that the vampire he had saved was once again right. Everything was right and he was finally able to leave the past behind him just as his friend had done. The idea of being with an alpha demon like Jordon suddenly didn’t seem so bad after all. “I guess you have won then,” Jorel says. In one last act of omega strength for a while Jorel showed off his wings and carried Jordon safely to the ground. They didn’t need any verbal confirmation of the new found relationship. Their instincts told them everything.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_And that is the end of another one shot. Apologies to FiggyPlum if this is not everything you thought it would be._ **


	10. Bullet

**_ No pairing but this is also the prologue to a new little, short story I am working on, so I hope you enjoy. _ **

**_ Sorry, there has been a lack of uploads this past month, I had surgery and have spent the last few weeks recovering. _ **

**_ AU- Mental Hospital _ **

**_ Trigger warning for descriptions of self-harm and other mental health issues. _ **

**_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _ **

**_ 5 _ ** **_ th _ ** **_ March 2005 - George’s p.o.v _ **

Another day and more possibilities for something new and crazy to happen. I work in the mental health ward of a hospital for the last two years and it has been the best two years of my life. Yeah, I know I am working with mentally ill people every day, but it is so worth it. Dr Steve said that we are getting a new patient this morning and it’s going to be a challenge. They don’t have any information other than he was brought into the emergency department after being found in a park and that is it. He had attempted to end his life, but we have no details other than that they are a male and somewhere around late teens to early twenties. He is coming straight from the ward that they have kept him in overnight to us and we will have to do the treatment from there. 

“The new patient is here,” Steve shouts and I prepare to get the handover from the doctor who has brought him here. I go to the door with my notepad and my pen so if any new information is available, I can write it down, maybe even attempt to find his medical records. “Right this young man is John Doe, all we know is he is around 20 years old, but he has not said a word since he came round, so we have no information to go on. He was found by a member of the public unconscious in the park with the injuries to his wrists suggesting he intended to end his life,” the doctor says, as I hastily scribble all of the information down. Steve was right when he said this is going to be a challenge. How am I supposed to treat this poor lad when I know nothing about him? 

The young lad is brought into the room that will be his and we go through all the typical things with a new patient like getting his vitals and trying to see if we could get any information out of him, but he remained silent the entire time. I’m not going to push him to tell me anything and we need to start building up some trust to see if he will talk. Something is going on in his personal life, but I suspect I won’t unlock that for a while. I’m just going to introduce myself to him and slowly start building up that trust with him to hopefully get him talking. I don’t feel comfortable calling him John Doe the entire time either so I will probably find a little nickname for him like kiddo or something along those lines. It will depend on how well he reacts to nicknames. 

You must take every possibility into account when you are dealing with a patient like this. There are so many unknowns and challenges but if you take a broad enough approach then things should slowly start coming together. I also know that John Doe clearly shows that he doesn’t trust anyone around him, so whatever I do from now on has got to take that into account. Someone had called him kiddo and he backed away so that nickname has already been thrown out of the window. “Right then, we’re going to take this nice and slow okay? Whenever you are no longer comfortable with the situation please let me know,” I tell him. He looks at me, but he doesn’t say anything or give me any indication of what he has understood or not. 

The first thing I do is go and get a whiteboard and place it near him. “You can use this to write the words yes, no or stop whenever you want to,” I tell him. He can write whatever he wants to, but those suggestions are just a guide for now. “Right, let’s start with the basics. My name is Doctor George Ragan, and I am going to be helping you while you are in here,” I tell him. I figured that it would be better to let him get to know me first and then that could lead to me finding out more about him and getting him help. The goal will be to get him into society within 6 months, I don’t think that is unreasonable considering we have nothing to suggest he has serious mental health problems, but I still can’t find anything that will confirm or deny it. I suppose I could get a better idea if he would let me examine him in a little while. I won’t push for it though. 

There are the two large wounds on his arms that will need sorting, but he might want a nurse to do that instead. “I’m twenty-three years old and have been working here for the last two years,” I tell him. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to let him know I haven’t been working in this industry for that long, but it might help. He was looking at me like he was listening the whole time which is good. I was expecting him to say something but if he isn’t ready for that then it is fine. I might be able to get him to write down any hobbies he might have. This is my first case where I oversee his care completely and there isn’t going to be a supervisor looking over my shoulder waiting for the slightest little slip up. A supervisor could still come in if they felt the need too, but I want to prove to them I can do this. 

“Do you like music?” I ask, it felt somewhat natural to not be constantly adding a name or a nickname because there was no one else in the room I would be asking the question too. He wrote yes on the little whiteboard and I smiled. I have something to talk with him about now that is a little escape from the typical questions. “What kind of music?” I ask, I know it is an open-ended question but then when I leave, I can research and have more to talk about. I know a lot of music genres myself and I am in a rock band which is hoping to get off the ground in the next three years. We just need a music label that won’t go too crazy with the censorship. He writes on the whiteboard:  _ Anything but country music and some classical.  _ It means I have a busy night and a few days ahead of me. 

I make a note of it on his file, it might come in handy when it comes to things like being able to calm him down or to make him feel more comfortable. His music genres could be anything from pop music to death metal and I don’t mind that. At the end of the day, he is the priority and whatever makes him happy has no negative impact on my life. “Nice, no judgements on the dislikes there,” I tell him. I know those are probably not popular genres anymore. It's not like he is going to force me to listen to what he likes, and we are not going to make him listen to country or classical music if he doesn’t like those. “Do you play any instruments?” I ask, might as well carry on down the music route for now. He rubs out his previous answer then writes:  _ Piano and guitar.  _ That is interesting, I could see if I could get him some sessions in the music room. 

“I’m sure sometime in the next few weeks I can get you sessions in the music room so you can play those,” I tell him, and I get my first smile. I would wait until his injuries have healed first though. I would not want to risk them reopening and becoming infected or something like that. I have confidence that he will be fine in a week or two, but we will take it day by day for now. There is plenty of time before we make any decision on his future. He was found attempting to end his life, so he must stay until we are happy that he won’t try something he can’t undo if he is not found in time again. He was very lucky that day. He probably would have died if that person hadn't found him when they did that’s what the police and emergency department said. 

I talk to my new patient a little more, mainly to see if he had any food allergies I needed to know about since his safety is important to me. Anything that happens to him while he is under my care then it will be me who gets in trouble and has to deal with the consequences. I leave John Doe to get settled in his new room and hope that the suicide prevention watch won’t irritate him too much. I know none of this is nice when you come in and you are not here voluntarily. A lot of the patients I have seen since I started come in kicking and screaming because they don’t want to be here. Not everyone who is admitted here wants to be here, but there are some who do. I don’t think John Doe fits into that category though, I am not one hundred percent certain though. 

There is no rush to fit him into a category anyways. Everyone gets the treatment they need sooner or later. Right now, we are working with the immediate problems, the suicidal parts. He’s just been discharged from the emergency department only to be admitted straight into the mental ward of the same hospital. I can’t imagine that would be the ideal scenario for him. He seems to be adapting well to it though, we’ll have to keep an eye on him to see how he adjusts as the day and weeks go by. I'll be talking with the fellow doctors and nurses and make sure they know to let me know if there is any sign of the new patient needing help or calming down and I will be the one to deal with it. He has shown he does not trust anyone, and we need to be cautious in our approach to dealing with anything stressful with him. 

I would much rather have his complete trust than it be divided amongst several people and for one of them to misuse that trust. The fallout will not be worth all the time that it will have taken to get that level of trust up. He  definitely needs our help with whatever may be going on inside his head, but we aren’t going to get anywhere if we take this recklessly. My supervisor walks up to me as I start typing up what I had learned about John Doe in the short amount of time I gave myself to talk to him. “How is it going with the new patient?” She asks me. Even though she said that I was going to be handling this on my own, I don’t mind her coming in and giving me hints and tips and showing me if I am going wrong somewhere in his treatment. 

“It is going as well as to be expected. He’s withholding anything that will give us any indication on who he is. The tattoos he has might give the police a help if they decide to do something. I have only been asking questions like things he likes or if he has any allergies we need to know about,” I tell her. I show her my notes that I gathered so far, I don’t mind her reading them as she is above me and will have access to anything I put on his file. All I have so far is things like his favorite color and his music tastes. In terms of allergies, I have the fact that he is allergic to peanuts. “Good work George, despite all the challenges you have already faced and will face this is good information. I don’t expect our John Doe to give up who he really is for quite some time yet,” she tells me. 

I am inclined to feel the same way when it comes to trying to put a time scale on how long it will take before John Doe says anything. “Yeah, the police will take their own sweet time on their end too. It will probably take a month or two before they decide that it would be worth investigating. They will want us to constantly ask him for his information, so they do not have to put the resources into a full-scale missing persons investigation which could take months if not years to come to any form of conclusion on. “I don’t either and I also don’t expect the police to do anything until we tell them that we were not able to get any information from him ourselves. They don’t want to help us straight away, but they still fail to understand how our job works,” I tell her. 

“No matter how many times we have the police department involved in our cases they still can’t quite seem to understand that we can’t force the information out of our patients in the same way they can interrogate the truth out of their prisoners,” She says. No matter how many times we talk about this comparison between us we still  have to explain it to the officers again the next time someone wants to report their loved one missing who happens to be a patient under our care. Even with a case open we  have to explain it multiple times as different officers get assigned to the case and then moved onto something else. “This is going to be a battle we will be facing for the rest of our careers here. There is no way the police department will change,” I tell her. 

After all the notes have been entered onto the system it is time for me to go on my lunch break. I checked in on John Doe and he was settling in okay. He was still pretty much silent but there was nothing worrying the nurses who  have to check on him every ten minutes. He was just getting used to his new surroundings. I’ll have to visit him again later to change the dressings on his wounds if he will let me do it. If not, we’ll have to see if he will let someone else do it instead. It will be one of the first steps that we take in getting him to feel comfortable with being here and various treatments being done. We try not to do anything they don’t want us to do but with his injuries being so new and the potential for infection being so high it is one thing we will have to do whether he likes it or not. 

“It’s the big man himself George! How’s the new patient doing?” Kristian asks me. He has been one of my mentors since I started here and has been desperate for me to have a patient of my own where I don’t have to constantly explain what I am doing and why I am doing it. Some of my treatment choices will be questioned but I will feel confident in explaining them. “As well as could be expected when given no warning before being transferred but seems to be settling in fine so far. Time will have to tell for definite though,” I tell him. I get my salad out of the fridge and sit down to start eating it. If you told me this was how my day was going to go, I would not have believed you at first. I honestly thought that John Doe was going to be like most of the patients we see every day when they first arrive. 

“Yeah, you’ve certainly been given a challenge. I don’t think we’ve ever had a patient like him with such a mysterious background. The closest must be Margret who was admitted maybe two or three months before you arrived. Then we found out she had dementia and really needed to be in a care home instead,” Kristian says. I just about remember Margret myself in all of the chaos that ensued in my first month here. They were trying to find a care home that the family would agree to pay for that would take care of her needs whilst we were doing our best. You would be midway through a conversation with her, and the dementia would make her brain reset and you would have to start the conversation all over again including helping her remember who you were and where she was at that moment. 

“My god I just about remember her. Bless her she did quite well considering the mess her family left her in. I would hate to be old and have my family send me here and refuse to pay for the proper care I needed,” I tell him. I hope Margret is doing alright now, we tried our best to give the family the support and advice they need. We even got her transport from here to the care home, so her family didn’t have to work it out themselves. “I think I would rather have my family shoot me than argue amongst themselves over where I was going to be looked after,” Kristian replies. I haven’t thought that far ahead but I would make their lives miserable if they decided that instead of thinking about what I need they argue. 

“That’s something that I have been considering too. I would also have a DNR as soon as I got to the point where being a vegetable was my only option,” I tell him. I had not put much thought into what was going to happen to me when I became an old man, but this job has made me seriously consider my options and what would be the best for me. You quickly learn the best way to deal with patients is the same way you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes. The patients I have been dealing with certainly appreciate that mentality that I have been going with. “Oh yeah that is something I want. I know care has improved so much but I don’t want that life for myself,” he replies. I’ll need to make a coffee after lunch. 

There is no way I am going to get through the rest of today without one. I had one when I first got up for the day and have not had one since, but I know I need one. The salad was nice though, but I have some ideas on how to make it better for next time. I had messed the lettuce up a little bit, it didn’t taste as nice as when I had made it last week. Maybe it was just the lettuce that was wrong, and it had started to go off or something. I need to go grocery shopping on the way home tonight so I could get some more lettuce and salad related food while I am there and see how much of a difference it will make. “I need to take some lessons from you, my lunches always look so plain and boring compared with yours,” Kristian says. 

“They aren’t boring or plain. Mine are often plain and boring because I don’t have the time to make something fancy even if I have some time the evening before,” I tell him. I don’t want him to become jealous either. I really don’t have the time to go out of my way to make a fancy lunch every night. Especially now I have a caseload of my own to deal with. John Doe is not my only patient and I need to split time evenly between them all to make sure that they all get the care that they need and to schedule therapy appointments for them. I have a notebook which I write my intentions into and I see if I can make them reality. I need to get John Doe a session in the music room sometime in the next two weeks. 

I can see music therapy being the way to go with him. I have nothing else to go on yet but just focusing on that won’t do any harm. We can always switch our focus when we learn more about him and learn more about what help we can provide him. “Did you see Mary’s face earlier when we were told about John Doe? I have never seen her so jealous in her life,” Jason asks when he walks in. Kristian and I have another thirty minutes of break time left before we  have to get back to our patients or our offices to focus on paperwork. “Yeah, I don’t see her handling this as well as George is doing. Have you seen how well this man plans? He should go into teaching instead,” Kristian says, and I just shake my head and smile. 

“I don’t think I could handle being in a classroom to be honest with you,” I tell him. I know they say once you work here for long enough you could work pretty much anywhere without any issues, but I don’t think that will be the case with me. I don't think I would do very well if I was left in charge of a classroom full of children. I wouldn’t even be qualified to teach them, and I am not desperate to get that qualification any time soon. “Fair enough, even I don’t think that I would cope well in a classroom,” Jason replies. I know there are similarities between the two roles, but I don’t think it’s enough for a seamless transition from one to the other. It’s time to get back to the office to finish up the paperwork and get things rolling. 

I’m going to email the music therapist to see if I can get John Doe in as soon as possible. The type of songs he will make could very well give me an indication of what his headspace is like and where he is mentally. Then I could attempt to arrange other therapies and see if those help with his feelings. I get the feeling he would be a good artist, but I can’t say for certain. Maybe I can leave a sketch book and a pencil with him once he is off suicide watch and see what happens. I am determined to get things right and make sure this man will leave here as happy and as healthy as can be. I took my coffee that I had just made with me as I left the staff room to go back to my office. I am lucky that I don’t have to share anymore. 

_ 5 _ _ th _ _ March 2005 1:00 pm  _

_ From: Dr George Ragan _

_ To: Dr Maria Johnson _

_ Subject: John Doe _

_ Good afternoon Maria, _

_ As I am sure you are aware, we have a new patient admitted under the name John Doe. I have no further information currently. However, I was able to find out what hobbies the patient has, and I was wondering if you could help me. He has told me that he plays the piano and guitar, so I was hoping we could get him into the music therapy room and see how he reacts and just observe him to see if we can learn anything new which could potentially lead to us finding out who he is. There is no rush for this as he is currently on watch and we are observing him settling in. _

_ Please let me know if this is an idea you are comfortable with and what time best suits you. _

_ Kind Regards _

_ Dr George Ragan. _

I don’t think I will ever get used to writing formal emails. It is the weirdest thing I must do for my job. I don’t like it, but it has got to look professional, and I can use as much informal wording as I want to outside of work. I  have to triple check the email to make sure I don’t use any abbreviations, contractions or slang words and it makes sense. The spell checker tried to put a comma between idea and you, but it didn’t make much sense to me. I have learned over the short time I have been here how different doctors prefer a different writing style when you email them requests like this. Some doctors have no problem with words like don’t or can’t but some like Dr Maria really don’t like it and I must respect it and change my wording accordingly.

I don’t think she will see the email right away. She’s often busy and answers any emails either late in the evening or first thing in the morning when she gets in work. She tries not to look at emails during the workday unless they have the word URGENT in them in all capital letters. Either that or she gets phoned by another doctor who is annoyed by the fact that she has ignored his emails again and again when she doesn’t have the time. She’s not just in charge of music therapy but she is the one to contact about it. I didn’t see her during my lunch break, so I am guessing she was with a patient and will have hers later. “Good afternoon George,” Maria says, making me almost drop my coffee in surprise. 

“Good afternoon Maria,” I tell her, turning around to look at her now that I have gained my composure. She definitely won’t have seen my email yet. I have only just sent it and by the looks of things she was about to go on her lunch break. “Jason was telling me all about your new patient. I’m glad he’s got you as his head doctor. Don’t think anyone will get through to him the way we know you will,” she tells me. I was stunned, it is not often Maria compliments me. I’ll happily accept it though; I don’t see there being another opportunity like this any time soon. "Thanks Maria, I have a challenge on my hands, but I think I can do this. I sent you an email about him. You don’t have to read it right away, you can do it in your own time,” I tell her. I don’t want her to feel as if I am rushing her to do something.

She goes off on her lunch break and says, “I’ll look at it after I’ve finished my therapy sessions this afternoon.” I know she was going to be busy this afternoon which is why I said no rush and look in your own time. John Doe will be here for at least a month I am guessing so there is plenty of time to schedule things like therapy sessions. I get a message from one of the nurses saying that everything was fine with John Doe and that he had fallen asleep, but they will continue checking on him every 10 to 15 minutes to make sure he’s fine. That is fine by me and I’ll let him sleep for as long as he needs. I will still have to change the dressings though. He’s been quite unwell in the hospital from the blood loss and probably would not have slept well there. 

I had surgery once and I was so groggy and tired when I woke up but the beeping noise from various machines kept me up and I was getting my pulse and blood pressure checked every 15 minutes to begin with then every half an hour so there was no chance for me to sleep. I am sure it would have been very similar to John Doe’s experience. They would have been checking to make sure he did nothing that he would end up regretting later like we are doing now. I make sure to let the nurse know that it is fine for him to sleep and I will check on him later. I will never take the nurses I work with for granted, they are incredible and without them we  definitely would not be working as efficiently as we have been for the last few years.

I finish catching up with all my paperwork and emails after a couple of hours. I had long since finished my coffee, but I was feeling too lazy to go and make myself another one. I also knew if I had another one now, I would want one when I get home and then I won’t be able to go to bed on time and I could be late tomorrow morning. I'm not quite a morning person and getting up on time for work is hard enough as it is let alone adding extra exhaustion on top. It probably would help if I got myself into a better sleeping pattern, but I know that is not going to happen for at least a few months. If I have managed to last two years here without getting a normal sleep schedule, then I can at least manage another one before trying to work on it again.

I’m going to check on John Doe now and see how he is doing. I will ask the nurse to get me the supplies I need to help change the dressings on his wounds. If I get it out of the way now, then he will not have to worry about it until roughly the same time tomorrow afternoon. He was awake when I got down there. “Hey Kelsey, do you mind getting me the stuff to change the dressings on his wounds? I’m going to explain what I want to do and see if he’ll agree to let me do it,” I ask her. Kelsey is quite possibly my favorite nurse here. She’s been amazing to work with since day one. “Yeah, that will be fine, if you need any help or he starts to get aggressive then call me I’ll be outside the door for you,” she tells me.

As she goes off to get the supplies I gently knock on the door. I want it to be loud enough for him to hear, but not too loud in case it triggers a fight or flight response because that is the last thing I need. He looks in my direction and I know he is calm just from his body language. “Hey buddy, I’ve just come to change the dressings on your arms is that okay?” I ask him. I wait for him to take that in and then make his decision. After about a minute he nods, and I walk into his room. I don’t go any closer to him. Then Kelsey walks back in with the supplies. “Here you go George,” she tells me and hands me them. “Thanks, Kelsey,” I reply, following her lead with being a little more informal in the way we are speaking in front of our patient. 

It was good that John Doe was accepting of the nickname buddy I had given him. It is what I am going to call him for as long as he is willing to let me. “Right then buddy if at any point you want me to stop or it is too sore please just tap my knee or something,” I tell him. It was the only non-verbal way I could think of off the top of my head. He nods and even gives me a smile. I am happier knowing he feels safe with me. I gently take off all the old dressings and put them to one side. I then make sure the wounds are clean before redressing them again. There was some evidence on his wrists that this was not the first time he had harmed himself, but it was the first time he had done it this deep. 

I was talking to him the whole time letting him know what each step is going to be, and I wait to make sure he is comfortable and ready for it before I move on to the next stage. It was working well, and I made sure to let him know that I was proud of him. He didn’t quite know how to react which I was taking a mental note of. I can add this to his notes which will help build the bigger picture on what might have led to what happened. As soon as I am done, I go to my office to update my notes to add my current observations. I am surprised considering how little he is verbal with anyone how much I have learned about him in the last 6 hours. I am starting to feel like I am working towards something good. 

“Well done George, I just saw what you did with John Doe with his wounds. I knew you were the best one suited for the job,” my supervisor says as she stands by the door. She does things like this quite often and I am not quite jumpy from it anymore. She gets to see what notes I write down on any patient’s digital file as well as the paper ones. “Thanks, I just did what felt natural to me. I think having that level of trust with him is going to be the key in unlocking this. I am starting to get an idea of what might be behind it,” I tell her. I still could be completely wrong, but he is a young man living in Los Angeles, he is probably still living with his parents. Your parents always seem to change a little once you hit adulthood. 

It is only thanks to this job that I was able to afford to move out from my parent’s house. You live in a level of blissful ignorance as a child when you don’t get to know how much rent costs and then you have the bills on top and then anything else is considered a luxury. “Yeah, I can see where you're thinking with that idea. I think we should still wait and see and just slowly work on the plan which can change from time to time depending on what is going on with him at that moment,” she replies. It is good to know that I have that level of support from her, and I am off to a good start. It would be  really hard to mess this up so early on. He hasn’t even had a chance to settle in, I don’t even think he was told until this morning that he was coming here. 

It's almost time for me to go home for the night and honestly, I think the exhaustion of the day is finally getting to me. Either that or I am coming down from the amount of caffeine and sugar I have been consuming today in order to keep me going. I am hoping that John Doe is going to do well tonight while I am not here. I will leave a message with whoever is looking after him at night to call me should they feel like they need me there to help with whatever situation they find themselves in. There haven’t been any issues so far, but he hasn’t been here for very long so at this stage it will be hard to say what kind of patient he will be. He could be more active and potentially aggressive at night we will have to wait and see.

Kelsey and I left at the same time and said goodbye to everyone at the same time. I am excited for tomorrow, to see what the day brings and how much I can help John Doe with his recovery. “Have a good evening Kelsey, I’ll see you in the morning,” I tell her, as I unlock my car and throw my backpack onto the passenger seat. She did the same before saying “Thanks George,  you too and I will see you in the morning.” I thank her before getting into the driver's seat and starting the engine. Finally, the weather is getting warmer. I don’t have to rush to get into the car to get the heating on and to stay warm on the 30-minute drive back to my apartment.  Well, the time it takes to get from here to the apartment complex usually depends on what the traffic is like.

Sometimes when the traffic is  really heavy it can take an hour to get home and by the time, I get home I am even more exhausted than I was when I started my journey home. Luckily it is a Saturday afternoon, and it has not gotten too bad yet. When it hits time to go drinking and partying that will be a different story, but I will be home by then. People would say I am wasting my weekends by not joining them, but I am not really in the mood for drinking this weekend. It just doesn’t appeal to me to get drunk, do something I am most likely to regret later and then spend the next day recovering from what I had done the night before.

I would have spent tonight looking over the patient files of the people who I have therapy sessions with tomorrow, but it can wait. I know them well enough to deliver the care they need. I will look at my notes before the sessions to memorize what was discussed during the previous session and go with that like I always do. Tonight, I am just going to have dinner, be lazy and watch some television before having an early night. I just hope that John Doe is going to be fine overnight, there is no reason why he shouldn’t be as he has great nurses and doctors in charge of his care while I am not there. I really want to find out the mystery behind him. What is his story? How did he end up in my care?

**_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _ **

**_ And that is the end of another one shot. Let me know what you  _ ** **_ think _ ** **_ and I’ll see you next time. _ **


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